Poop - Page 2

wolf · 12-30-2006, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bluecuracao

In the bathtub...that's really bad. Where is "The Wall?"

You've been in Philadelphia how long?

The Manayunk Wall. The bike race, first weekend in June, world class cyclists, multiple laps around the city including the street (Levering/Lyceum) with the 17% grade hill? That Wall.

wolf · 12-30-2006, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaliforniaMama

At least the guy didn't paint with it as some do . . .

Several of my patients are fecal decorative, so I know what you mean.

wolf · 12-30-2006, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beestie

Poop molecules can't travel over the Internet.

They got on the Mythbuster's brand-new sealed toothbrush somehow ...

wolf · 12-30-2006, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by be-bop

there on the cubicle floor was a turd,"What about that then? 11 1/2 inches without breaking "he was so proud .

I've seen that type of pride, but thankfully, not the output. Robert the crazy guy who sleeps on the porch was regaling me with the tale of his own 14" production the other night.

Griff · 12-30-2006, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

Several of my patients are fecal decorative, so I know what you mean.

We seem to have some cross over with my last gig here. Long bus ride, loose stool, need to assert creative control over environment. Breath taking sister, absolutely breath taking.

JayMcGee · 12-30-2006, 08:30 PM

Throughout History, mankind has strived to better himself......

from the Pyramids to the Roman Empire, from Byzanteum to the Pharoes and Rome.......... transending the Dark Ages, victororious over the Black Death, Mankind reaches forever upwards....

... to produce the ultimate toothbrush with a built-in computer.....

jinx · 12-30-2006, 08:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beestie

Poop molecules can't travel over the Internet.

Can they.

You're not mocking the poop molecule, are you?

piercehawkeye45 · 12-30-2006, 11:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by be-bop

It's funny peoples reactions to "poop" some are horrified others are neither bothered by it.

Back when I was in high school, I was english class talking to someone screwing off when three girls come in on the verge of tears making a big scene. They were going to the bathroom and supposedely their was a piece of poop that was around a foot long, unbroken as well. They, of course, had to tell this story to the whole class and they actually had a picture of it. Easy way to take a class off-topic for a good ten minutes...

Hoof Hearted · 12-31-2006, 12:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by be-bop

...the young plumber came up to me and said "You have to see this" dragging me to the toilets..

...there on the cubicle floor was a turd,"What about that then? 11 1/2 inches without breaking "he was so proud .

The bold portion is what caught my attention. He PLANNED to do his business on the floor hoping for the "big one" so he could show it to someone. I hope he cleans up the ones that don't pass muster...

Aliantha · 12-31-2006, 12:35 AM

TYPES OF POO

Ghost Poo:
You know you've pooed. There's poo on the toilet paper, but not in the
toilet. Where is it?

Teflon Poo:
So slick and easy you don't even feel it. No trace of poo on the
toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet to be sure you did it.

Goo Poo:
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe twelve times and you
still don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your
underwear so you don't soil it. Permanent skid marks are left in the
toilet.

Second Thoughts Poo:
You're all done wiping and about to stand up when you realise...
there's more to come.

Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poo:
This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn't want to come out
until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard.

Weight Watchers Poo:
You poo so much you lose several pounds.

Right Now Poo:
You'd better be within thirty seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber to
get there and it usually gets its head out before you can get your
pants down.

King Kong Poo:
This one is so big you think it won't go down the toilet unless you
break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger usually works well.
This kind of poo usually happens when you're at someone else's house.

Cork Poo:
Also known as "floaters." Even after the third flush it's still there,
floating in the bowl. My God! How do I get rid of it?

Wet Cheeks Poo:
This poo hits the water sideways and makes a bigger splash than the
launching of the QE2, soaking your starfish.

Wish Poo:
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poo.

Cement Block Poo:
You wish you'd got a spinal block before you pooed.

Snake Poo:
This poo is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb and at least
three feet long.

Morning After Poo:
Happens the day after the night before. Normally your poo doesn't
smell that bad, but THIS one... Usually you're at someone else's house
(normally a girl you're trying to impress) and they're waiting outside
to use the bathroom.

Mexican Food Poo:
Also called "screamers." You know it's safe to eat again when your bum
stops burning.

Boo Hoo Poo:
Makes you cry with pain and wonder whether your should risk the
stitches or go for the fuller figure.

bluecuracao · 01-01-2007, 03:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by piercehawkeye45

They, of course, had to tell this story to the whole class and they actually had a picture of it. Easy way to take a class off-topic for a good ten minutes...

These girls are obviously my long-lost sisters.

Monkeyboy has gotten quite a bit of mileage off of this horror. So far he's used the Poop Story as a late excuse, and as an out of a strenuous situation. Deservedly so, I say.

Good fortune for you all--I fear my USB cord is lost, so I'll have to order a new one.

xoxoxoBruce · 01-02-2007, 12:26 PM

Quote:

Cork Poo:
Also known as "floaters." Even after the third flush it's still there,
floating in the bowl. My God! How do I get rid of it?

As a public service (you paying attention Judge?), I'll give you the answer.
Lay some toilet paper across the floaters, it will drag them down with it.

Griff · 01-02-2007, 12:32 PM

I suggest Flushmate. I put two of these, with flush mechanism modifications, in my house. They even pull poop molecules out of the air.

Urbane Guerrilla · 01-03-2007, 08:23 PM

The Wish Poo is also known as the "Here I Sit, All Broken Hearted..."

At least among the [Poop]house Poet set.

DucksNuts · 01-04-2007, 04:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Urbane Guerrilla

The Wish Poo is also known as the "Here I Sit, All Broken Hearted..."

At least among the [Poop]house Poet set.

I so hang around with the wrong crowd

12-30-2006, 08:30 PM	#21
JayMcGee Cardigan-wearing man Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Much Binding In The Marsh Posts: 1,082	Throughout History, mankind has strived to better himself...... from the Pyramids to the Roman Empire, from Byzanteum to the Pharoes and Rome.......... transending the Dark Ages, victororious over the Black Death, Mankind reaches forever upwards.... ... to produce the ultimate toothbrush with a built-in computer..... __________________ I like wearing cardigans...... my current favourite is an orange cable-knit with real leatherette buttons.

12-31-2006, 12:35 AM	#25
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	TYPES OF POO Ghost Poo: You know you've pooed. There's poo on the toilet paper, but not in the toilet. Where is it? Teflon Poo: So slick and easy you don't even feel it. No trace of poo on the toilet paper. You have to look in the toilet to be sure you did it. Goo Poo: This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe twelve times and you still don't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't soil it. Permanent skid marks are left in the toilet. Second Thoughts Poo: You're all done wiping and about to stand up when you realise... there's more to come. Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Poo: This is the kind of poo that killed Elvis. It doesn't want to come out until you're all sweaty, trembling, and purple from straining so hard. Weight Watchers Poo: You poo so much you lose several pounds. Right Now Poo: You'd better be within thirty seconds of a toilet. You burn rubber to get there and it usually gets its head out before you can get your pants down. King Kong Poo: This one is so big you think it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A wire coat hanger usually works well. This kind of poo usually happens when you're at someone else's house. Cork Poo: Also known as "floaters." Even after the third flush it's still there, floating in the bowl. My God! How do I get rid of it? Wet Cheeks Poo: This poo hits the water sideways and makes a bigger splash than the launching of the QE2, soaking your starfish. Wish Poo: You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no poo. Cement Block Poo: You wish you'd got a spinal block before you pooed. Snake Poo: This poo is fairly soft, about as thick as your thumb and at least three feet long. Morning After Poo: Happens the day after the night before. Normally your poo doesn't smell that bad, but THIS one... Usually you're at someone else's house (normally a girl you're trying to impress) and they're waiting outside to use the bathroom. Mexican Food Poo: Also called "screamers." You know it's safe to eat again when your bum stops burning. Boo Hoo Poo: Makes you cry with pain and wonder whether your should risk the stitches or go for the fuller figure. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

01-02-2007, 12:32 PM	#28
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	I suggest Flushmate. I put two of these, with flush mechanism modifications, in my house. They even pull poop molecules out of the air. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

01-03-2007, 08:23 PM	#29
Urbane Guerrilla Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Southern California Posts: 6,674	The Wish Poo is also known as the "Here I Sit, All Broken Hearted..." At least among the [Poop]house Poet set.

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