11/6/2002: 85th anniversary couple

Undertoad · 11-07-2002, 12:40 AM

Just what is it that makes old couples look like each other? And how can we make it stop?

From this Ananova story comes the details. They're Taiwanese; Liu Yung-yang and his wife Yang Wan were married in April 1917.

Is it just me, or is that guy doing Billy Crystal's "old Jewish guy" character?

Nic Name · 11-07-2002, 01:20 AM

Ah yes ... the secret to a long and happy marriage.

She's blind and he's deaf.

Nic Name · 11-07-2002, 01:31 AM

We had some fun discussions awhile back in Quality Images with old Bill & Lil, who are mentioned in that Ananova article.

jeni · 11-07-2002, 01:36 AM

wow, those two are OLD. wow. i can only hope that i die before i reach 100.

okay, i can probably count on it.

i think this is great. i mean, the chances of them divorcing in their 70's, 80's, or 90's were probably slim, but i think it's good that they have been together so long.

people these days are terrible. they go into a marriage thinking "oh well, if it doesn't work out, there's always divorce. that'll clean it all up." yeah, except for the fact that you were the moron who went into the vows with that in mind. it's really sad that there are people who will get married if there is any doubt that they really want to be in the relationship in sickness and in health, as long as they both shall live. it's awful. there aren't any excuses, either. "irreconcilable differences" my ass. i don't think anything in love is impossible if you ever thought you cared enough about the person to promise them your life. i can understand filing for divorce if your spouse is a constant infidel, but even then your spouse shouldn't have gotten married if he or she was going to be the dumbass to take that security for granted.

i needed to rant about this because many people these days are complete idiots about marriage. i don't need to quote national statistics for anyone to understand how many marriages end in divorce. out of me and my 5 friends, only two of the six sets of parents are still married. those being paul's and jenno's (i'm not counting david, being as we have the same set of parents). that's horrible.

juju · 11-07-2002, 01:56 AM

I respect your opinion, but hey, i'm going to go ahead and say the complete opposite of what you just said. Not trying to flame, I just like to give my opinions. :)

The proliferation of divorce is one of the best things that's happened to the human race. It's a direct result of the womens' sufferage movement. Life before divorce was not a bed of roses. People would get married with the best of intentions, then find out that they utterly hated the person. Then what? Can't get divorced, it's ungodly. Guess i'll just have to be miserable for the rest of my life. I don't really think that's any way to live. Sometimes people just can't get along. It's sad, but it's true. The average person changes completely every 20 years or so. Theyr'e just a completely different person. What happens when a couple grows apart? Or just falls out of love? It doesn't fit into the dreamers' ideas of love, but it does happen.

Anyways, divorce: A difficult solution to a difficult problem. :)

snagglefish · 11-07-2002, 02:12 AM

divorce *can* (ie won't always) offer an out from an otherwise untenable position.

however, there is a certain blase with which people treat marriage at the outset with the knowledge of said out. so....maybe it is important to be sure of things at the beginning. check that - it is VERY important to be sure from the get-go.

also.

what is an 'average' person?
what is 'complete' change every 20 years?

Nic Name · 11-07-2002, 02:58 AM

Momo Kokikuchi

jaguar · 11-07-2002, 04:28 AM

I agree with juju, if people can make it work, great, but they should not be punshed for a mistake a long time ago or be stuck in something past its useby date. I don't think its such a terrible thing, even for the kids. Better one happy parent than two unhappy ones (i'd know).

Katkeeper · 11-07-2002, 05:20 AM

The daughter of a friend of mine referred to her husband as a "starter husband". Apparently her friends did also. Needless to say, she got divorced and has remarried.

11-07-2002, 05:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by jaguar
I don't think its such a terrible thing, even for the kids. Better one happy parent than two unhappy ones (i'd know).

Well then, in your case, it wasn't so bad.

But I'm sure thousands of kids are traumatized each year by divorces. It can be pretty tough on someone - I have a few friends whose parents are divorced and it has <b>directly and profoundly</b> affected the child <b>for the worse</b>. Who was once a stable and happy girl is now an emotional nutjob because her parents are separated and she's convinced it's her fault.

So maybe the proper thing to say is "I got lucky that it wasn't so bad for me, but I can understand and appreciate the fact that it's pretty traumatic for a lot of children."

jaguar · 11-07-2002, 06:34 AM

Ok sorry I didn't qualify that nearly enough. To work I think it requires open and clear communication between the kid and both parents. It can be extremely traumatic for some, but I think (and the reason you proposed for that case shows) that communication is the key, obviously its not always easy and almost always the fault of at least one of the parents, kids become weapons. I belong to a generation of divorcee kids, most of my friends parents are divorced, well over 60% easily. ‘In fact i know of only one truely happy marriage, that’s out of a lot of families. I think most kids it effects in at least subtle ways but hell, growing up is never a smooth ride and in the scheme of things it often is better than the alternative.

Beletseri · 11-07-2002, 07:26 AM

Hey, there wouldn't be any divorce if people would just stop getting married.

juju · 11-07-2002, 10:06 AM

If the parents don't get along, the kid is going to be tramatized whether the parents get divorced or not. Contant yelling and a mood of bitterness, anger, and chaos is what the household will most likely be like forever if the parents stay together. I don't think you can say that divorce is the cause of the tramatization, although i'm sure it seems that way to the child.

perth · 11-07-2002, 10:18 AM

i hated both my parents for the longest time after they divorced. its only now that im older that i realize the really bad stuff happened when they were married and that getting a divorce was the best thing they could have done for me and my siblings.

thats not to say the divorce didnt hurt. it did, especially when my mother moved to colorado and my father moved to ohio and i was forced to choose. when i met casey i made for damn sure i wanted to be with her forever before we even began dating. i dont want to put my children through any of it, pre- or post-divorce.

i think the secret to a long-lasting marriage is to behave like newlyweds from the day you marry to the day you die.

~james

juju · 11-07-2002, 10:21 AM

On the other hand, I do see that you folks are arguing against a totally different set of people than I am -- those who don't take marriage seriously.

I'm just saying that this is a sad side-result of a change in our society for the better. You people have in your heads that marriage is noble because it's forever, and it's somehow worth less if it's not. That concept of forever was forged on a road of pain by men who beat women into submission when they acted up. Sure it's feasible to have lifelong marriages if one of the partners is submissive to the other. An equal-rights marriage is much harder to maintain. As a resut of this, the concept of marriage is changing, because people know that they don't have to take shit. Holding us up to the standard of those who did have to take shit just isn't fair.

11-07-2002, 12:40 AM	#1
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	11/6/2002: 85th anniversary couple Just what is it that makes old couples look like each other? And how can we make it stop? From this Ananova story comes the details. They're Taiwanese; Liu Yung-yang and his wife Yang Wan were married in April 1917. Is it just me, or is that guy doing Billy Crystal's "old Jewish guy" character?

11-07-2002, 01:31 AM	#3
Nic Name retired Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 1,930	We had some fun discussions awhile back in Quality Images with old Bill & Lil, who are mentioned in that Ananova article. Last edited by Nic Name; 11-07-2002 at 01:35 AM.

11-07-2002, 02:12 AM	#6
snagglefish Cantankerous Incantonator Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: vancouver, canada Posts: 54	possibly both right? divorce can (ie won't always) offer an out from an otherwise untenable position. however, there is a certain blase with which people treat marriage at the outset with the knowledge of said out. so....maybe it is important to be sure of things at the beginning. check that - it is VERY important to be sure from the get-go. also. what is an 'average' person? what is 'complete' change every 20 years?

11-07-2002, 02:58 AM	#7
Nic Name retired Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 1,930	The secret to a happy marriage in Japan ... Momo Kokikuchi

11-07-2002, 04:28 AM	#8
jaguar whig Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 5,075	I agree with juju, if people can make it work, great, but they should not be punshed for a mistake a long time ago or be stuck in something past its useby date. I don't think its such a terrible thing, even for the kids. Better one happy parent than two unhappy ones (i'd know). __________________ Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. - Twain

11-07-2002, 01:20 AM	#2
Nic Name retired Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 1,930	Ah yes ... the secret to a long and happy marriage. She's blind and he's deaf.

11-07-2002, 01:36 AM	#4
jeni is stuck on altair-4 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: santa cruz, california Posts: 514	wow, those two are OLD. wow. i can only hope that i die before i reach 100. okay, i can probably count on it. i think this is great. i mean, the chances of them divorcing in their 70's, 80's, or 90's were probably slim, but i think it's good that they have been together so long. people these days are terrible. they go into a marriage thinking "oh well, if it doesn't work out, there's always divorce. that'll clean it all up." yeah, except for the fact that you were the moron who went into the vows with that in mind. it's really sad that there are people who will get married if there is any doubt that they really want to be in the relationship in sickness and in health, as long as they both shall live. it's awful. there aren't any excuses, either. "irreconcilable differences" my ass. i don't think anything in love is impossible if you ever thought you cared enough about the person to promise them your life. i can understand filing for divorce if your spouse is a constant infidel, but even then your spouse shouldn't have gotten married if he or she was going to be the dumbass to take that security for granted. i needed to rant about this because many people these days are complete idiots about marriage. i don't need to quote national statistics for anyone to understand how many marriages end in divorce. out of me and my 5 friends, only two of the six sets of parents are still married. those being paul's and jenno's (i'm not counting david, being as we have the same set of parents). that's horrible.

11-07-2002, 01:56 AM	#5
juju no one of consequence Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Arkansas Posts: 2,839	I respect your opinion, but hey, i'm going to go ahead and say the complete opposite of what you just said. Not trying to flame, I just like to give my opinions. :) The proliferation of divorce is one of the best things that's happened to the human race. It's a direct result of the womens' sufferage movement. Life before divorce was not a bed of roses. People would get married with the best of intentions, then find out that they utterly hated the person. Then what? Can't get divorced, it's ungodly. Guess i'll just have to be miserable for the rest of my life. I don't really think that's any way to live. Sometimes people just can't get along. It's sad, but it's true. The average person changes completely every 20 years or so. Theyr'e just a completely different person. What happens when a couple grows apart? Or just falls out of love? It doesn't fit into the dreamers' ideas of love, but it does happen. Anyways, divorce: A difficult solution to a difficult problem. :)

11-07-2002, 05:20 AM	#9
Katkeeper Hoodoo Guru Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Mechanicsburg PA Posts: 296	The daughter of a friend of mine referred to her husband as a "starter husband". Apparently her friends did also. Needless to say, she got divorced and has remarried.

11-07-2002, 06:34 AM	#11
jaguar whig Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 5,075	Ok sorry I didn't qualify that nearly enough. To work I think it requires open and clear communication between the kid and both parents. It can be extremely traumatic for some, but I think (and the reason you proposed for that case shows) that communication is the key, obviously its not always easy and almost always the fault of at least one of the parents, kids become weapons. I belong to a generation of divorcee kids, most of my friends parents are divorced, well over 60% easily. ‘In fact i know of only one truely happy marriage, that’s out of a lot of families. I think most kids it effects in at least subtle ways but hell, growing up is never a smooth ride and in the scheme of things it often is better than the alternative. __________________ Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. - Twain

11-07-2002, 07:26 AM	#12
Beletseri Yeah sez you Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 206	Hey, there wouldn't be any divorce if people would just stop getting married.

11-07-2002, 10:06 AM	#13
juju no one of consequence Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Arkansas Posts: 2,839	If the parents don't get along, the kid is going to be tramatized whether the parents get divorced or not. Contant yelling and a mood of bitterness, anger, and chaos is what the household will most likely be like forever if the parents stay together. I don't think you can say that divorce is the cause of the tramatization, although i'm sure it seems that way to the child.

11-07-2002, 10:18 AM	#14
perth Strong Silent Type Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Fort Collins, CO Posts: 1,949	i hated both my parents for the longest time after they divorced. its only now that im older that i realize the really bad stuff happened when they were married and that getting a divorce was the best thing they could have done for me and my siblings. thats not to say the divorce didnt hurt. it did, especially when my mother moved to colorado and my father moved to ohio and i was forced to choose. when i met casey i made for damn sure i wanted to be with her forever before we even began dating. i dont want to put my children through any of it, pre- or post-divorce. i think the secret to a long-lasting marriage is to behave like newlyweds from the day you marry to the day you die. ~james

11-07-2002, 10:21 AM	#15
juju no one of consequence Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Arkansas Posts: 2,839	On the other hand, I do see that you folks are arguing against a totally different set of people than I am -- those who don't take marriage seriously. I'm just saying that this is a sad side-result of a change in our society for the better. You people have in your heads that marriage is noble because it's forever, and it's somehow worth less if it's not. That concept of forever was forged on a road of pain by men who beat women into submission when they acted up. Sure it's feasible to have lifelong marriages if one of the partners is submissive to the other. An equal-rights marriage is much harder to maintain. As a resut of this, the concept of marriage is changing, because people know that they don't have to take shit. Holding us up to the standard of those who did have to take shit just isn't fair.

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