Do guys really care about a girls sexual history?

[glatt]

It's an interesting chart for sure.

If you are average when you are younger, and then end up in a good monogamous marriage, then your number never increases, and you slowly drop out of "average" and into the lower edge of the bell curve. Looking at this chart, I see that you are all a bunch of horn dogs!

[yesman065]

LOL, thats great Sundae! ! ! I'll schedule you in when I make my european tour. If I'm gonna do this, I'll probably have to go out of the states too! And I prefer a wormy apple - the worms know which ones are best!! !!

[mrnoodle]

Here's another bad thing about being a slut. I was pretty indiscriminate for a few years in my 20s, so when I was tabulating my numbers to see where I fit in this chart, I found that I couldn't remember them all in one go. Now, random parking lot encounters with drunk girls are popping into my head, and I remember that the one thing they (and I) all had in common was really low self-esteem. I can REMEMBER about 35-40. Who knows what I've forgotten.

So, as an expert in this field, I think I can say with some certainty that promiscuity = low self esteem. Personally, I don't want to be with a girl who currently acts like I used to act, because that means they are as broken now as I was then. I've been celibate for 2 years, and if I ever break my streak, I hope it's because I've found "the one", and not because I get horny.

Undertoad,

The CDC stats are from interviews. Men always over report (inflate) there sexual experience and women under report it for all the reason stated on this board.

Again my point is character.

If you’ve been in a successful relationship for years with a whore-bag then god bless you. Personally I wouldn't want to be teaching my children that pulling your pants down no matter what age you are out wed-lock for the sheer “fun” of it is good and moral behavior.

The choice we make in our life make us the people we are. No matter what age you where when the choice was made.

Your sexual history is important because its reveals your character.

I never said that women that sleep around are unredeemable I just answered the question. Yes your history matters. Your employment, academic, civil obedience and credit history mean a great deal to others that want to judge your character. Saying sexual history is some how irrelevant denies the obvious. All the history criteria above reflect your character and the choices that have defined it.

People can spend there whole life in denial and everybody can convince themselves of anything.

No go ahead tell me those other history criteria regarding choices made in your life doesn’t matter either.

[Iggy]

I have a question for bmw, what qualifies a woman to be a slut (in your mind)? What if she has had several (let us say 3) serious relationships in her lifetime and was monogamous in all of them? She has slept with more than one man, but she has been cautious with her partners.

As far as men having made an accomplishment if they have slept with many women, I think it is a load of horseshit. Men that sleep around are no more noble than women who do the same. Sometimes a woman is the gatekeeper, but there are many times when the man pressures the woman into it. Pressuring someone to do something they don’t want to do is not an admirable trait in any person.

In my experience, women that sleep with anyone that has a penis have underlying emotional issues, and like Sundae Girl said, it is a symptom of something else. The only “sluts” I know* have been molested, most by family members. What do you say about women whose virginity was taken through molestation or rape? Are they damaged goods too?

When you say you can “spot a slut from a mile away” I suspect you are talking about those damaged women who have been abused and don’t know how to respect themselves. But that doesn’t mean that just because a woman has had several partners that she is a slut. Far from it. Again, like Sundae Girl said, if they have healthy loving monogamous relationships then I don’t see how on earth you can say they are a slut. But it would help to know the answer to my first question before I say that you are over generalizing.

*I should say that for a woman to be a slut in my mind she has to not care who she sleeps with and she doesn’t have healthy relationships with the men she does sleep with (and of course sleep with lots of men but that will happen if she doesn’t care who she sleeps with).

Originally Posted by Iggy

I have a question for bmw, what qualifies a woman to be a slut (in your mind)? What if she has had several (let us say 3) serious relationships in her lifetime and was monogamous in all of them? She has slept with more than one man, but she has been cautious with her partners.

Willful sexual acts and reckless behaviour.

As far as men having made an accomplishment if they have slept with many women, I think it is a load of horseshit. Men that sleep around are no more noble than women who do the same. Sometimes a woman is the gatekeeper, but there are many times when the man pressures the woman into it. Pressuring someone to do something they don’t want to do is not an admirable trait in any person.

Again you miss the point of sexual advantage women have. To those who are given much, much is expected

In my experience, women that sleep with anyone that has a penis have underlying emotional issues, and like Sundae Girl said, it is a symptom of something else. The only “sluts” I know* have been molested, most by family members. What do you say about women whose virginity was taken through molestation or rape? Are they damaged goods too?

Ah, the abuse excuses. I never met a women that didn't claim to not have an excuse for there Undesirable behaviors.

When you say you can “spot a slut from a mile away” I suspect you are talking about those damaged women who have been abused and don’t know how to respect themselves. But that doesn’t mean that just because a woman has had several partners that she is a slut. Far from it. Again, like Sundae Girl said, if they have healthy loving monogamous relationships then I don’t see how on earth you can say they are a slut. But it would help to know the answer to my first question before I say that you are over generalizing.

See previous answer.

*I should say that for a woman to be a slut in my mind she has to not care who she sleeps with and she doesn’t have healthy relationships with the men she does sleep with (and of course sleep with lots of men but that will happen if she doesn’t care who she sleeps with).

Jack Nicholson said it best in the character he played in” As good as it gets."
He answers a women’s question in an elevator on how he's able to write about women so well "its as if you know us."

His answer..."I think of a man and take away all reason and accountability."

If anyone has ever explain women better I've never heard it.

[Iggy]

Originally Posted by bmwmcaw

Jack Nicholson said it best in the character he played in” As good as it gets."
He answers a women’s question in an elevator on how he's able to write about women so well "its as if you know us."

His answer..."I think of a man and take away all reason and accountability."

If anyone has ever explain women better I've never heard it.

So now you are quoting a movie to defend your argument? Yeah, that gives your argument credibility.

I see we will not come to an agreement. Willful sexual acts within a trusting, loving, and long term* relationship do not make a slut. I can agree with the "reckless behavior" part though. If any person (regardless of gender) is completely reckless with their bodies I would say they are a slut/man whore.

I think you are putting way too much stock in the "advantage" that women have. What about the ugly girls that have to fight with the man to get them to have sex with them? They obviously have to wait for the man to open the gate for sexual encounters, so should they be applauded for promiscuity? I think not. No one should be.

But you are going to believe what you want to believe since you don't have really have a reasonable argument anyway.

Edit: *By long term I am referring to at least over a year.

[DucksNuts]

Originally Posted by 9th

I know guys generally like to commit more to girls who make them wait a period of time for sex (not sure of the exact underpinnings of that), do girls feel more attacted to a guy who turns down their sexual advances for a while?

Not sure, the *chase* is a bit more exciting, but not sure whether the inevitable outcome will differ.

Seriously, I think I live on another planet at times....I've had long term relationships (3yrs+), plus a few shorter term ones (over 6mths) and except for the first one (aged 16), I havent withheld the sex.

**Proof reading would be a good thing

[Happy Monkey]

Originally Posted by Iggy

So now you are quoting a movie to defend your argument? Yeah, that gives your argument credibility.

Not just that, but a hateful, mysogenistic, antisocial character in a movie...

[9th Engineer]

The chase? That's it? So it all boils down to the hunt for sex then...

[yesman065]

bmw are you saying that if I stole or shoplifted something as a child then my moral character as an adult should be taken into question? I mean there are a million things I can think of that children do which you are saying make us immoral or of low character. I'd really like to know what vaccuum of a planet you were raised on cuz if what you say is true then there are absolutely ZERO "good" people here on earth. What a shame to have a belief system without any forgiveness or compassion. I truly feel sorry for you - what a bitter person you seem to be.

Yesman, and can you stop being one for a minute, stealing a candy bar and have sexual intercourse is simply not in the same ballpark. That’s what I think the academics call and inappropriate comparison. But, let’s not stop there. Do you think it was wrong to steal that Twinkie? Isn't that the real question or answer to your point?

Right and wrong and taking responsibility for it.

[glatt]

Originally Posted by bmwmcaw

stealing a candy bar and have sexual intercourse is simply not in the same ballpark.
...

Right and wrong and taking responsibility for it.

Or in this case, wrong and right.

Stealing a candybar is wrong. Sex is not.

[Shawnee123]

Ah, go yourself

[bbro]

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

Ah, go yourself