What's mildly amusing you today? - Page 80

Gravdigr · 07-20-2014, 10:53 AM

'Man bag'...that brings to mind a couple of visuals...

...but, I have to say, 'man bag' beats the hell outta 'murse'.

elSicomoro · 07-20-2014, 10:09 PM

Pravda...have you read it today? You would swear you're in an alternate universe: http://english.pravda.ru

elSicomoro · 07-20-2014, 10:11 PM

Quote:

What is Barack Obama's motive for "building a circumstantial case" against Russia? Why is this, excuse my French, filthy demonic bastard targeting Russia? He comes right out and says what he is up to. He no longer has any shame about how he has caused war and destruction, terrorism and fascism throughout the world. He is a duplicitous hypocrite of the highest order. The only conclusion that can be made is that he is itching to involve Russia in a war, a war he desperately needs to cure his economic shortcomings as a "leader" and to cement US world domination.

That's wonderful. (link)

Carruthers · 07-22-2014, 02:57 PM

In another thread I said that 'The English language is remarkably flexible and I always think that it is a bit like Linux, available to all to adopt and adapt to their own requirements'.

It appears that someone has used that freedom somewhat irresponsibly...

Name: English.jpg
Views: 355
Size: 62.2 KB

Name: English.jpg
Views: 355
Size: 62.2 KB

London ITV News.

xoxoxoBruce · 07-22-2014, 07:05 PM

Maybe they were going for a laugh to relieve the tension of disappointed customers. Nah, I don't think so either.

footfootfoot · 07-23-2014, 07:05 PM

I would be pissed...

orthodoc · 07-23-2014, 08:52 PM

I made such excellent pitches to some local clients today that, unless I get major increases in staff and equipment pronto, I'm fucked. I have just beckoned some major players into the fold, and I'm working on a project for another client that could mean endless spinoff business. Pleased but just a bit terrified. But what the hell: it's only business. After cancer it's small potatoes.

Aliantha · 07-23-2014, 09:29 PM

I keep having those moments lately, although on a different scale. Haha. It is scarey, but great to be generating new business.

. Good for you ortho.

Clodfobble · 07-24-2014, 04:52 PM

Mr. Clod got a professional haircut at 1 AM last night.

See, his stylist--which is funny it itself, that he has A Guy that he's been going to loyally for ten years, and I just take whoever can see me on short notice at the J.C.Penney in the mall--is Muslim, and they're in the middle of Ramadan. Which means no eating from sunrise to sunset, but apparently modern Muslims have created a workaround whereby they stay up all night eating and partying and sleep as much as possible during daylight hours.

Mr. Clod is always up late anyway, and his stylist joked that he could easily get him in around 1 or 2 AM this week, and he readily agreed.

Undertoad · 07-24-2014, 04:57 PM

That is mildly amusing!

But at the same time, now I wish I could get a haircut late at night.

xoxoxoBruce · 07-24-2014, 09:05 PM

Always adjusting for reality.

Sundae · 07-25-2014, 12:10 AM

Trust me, all religions have work-arounds.
Where you think Mardi Gras comes from?!

Live in any city with a reasonably sized Muslim population and Ramadan makes Advent calendars with chocolates in look normal (in my day, Advent was a time of prayer and reflection second only to Lent).

elSicomoro · 07-25-2014, 12:14 AM

I just had a friend of mine totally get shitty with me because I joked about religion, Christianity in particular.

This is what I wrote:

Quote:

Is that ironic that a lot of Christians look down on the Mormons? The Mormons get made fun of for golden plates by people who believe that a being in the heavens is watching over them.

Sundae · 08-30-2014, 04:12 AM

Coming home yesterday I was embarrassed by a creaky railing seat.
They have them at bus stops, to make sure you don't sit there for any longer than you have to. Works for keeping the local yoof away from bus shelters, not so well for genuine passengers trying to catch buses which regularly run late.

Anyway, as I sat down the bench thingy gave an almighty squeaky groan.
The only way I can describe it was the sound of a loud suppressed fart which someone had tried to squeeze out quietly, but failed.
Certainly the man next to me thought so. He stared at me, and shuffled down the bench.
Now I know my sphincter was 100% shut, so it's not like there was a smell.

What made me smile afterwards was that he bum-slid towards an old man who really smelled of wee.
I know because after Mr Disgusted got on his bus, the old man came up to me to ask for a bite of my sandwich.
I gave him what I had. Partly because I was forcing it down anyway, partly because if you have to ask a stranger for a bite of a sandwich you must be in desperate straits (if a stranger asks you for your shirt etc)
And sorry, bruises, cold sores and all, I still wouldn't want to have a sandwich back after someone else had had a bite.

Leeds. Nice.

So, slightly dark humour, but I reviewed it in my mind later and giggled.
Just because you have a suit and a briefcase, doesn't mean you have a sense of smell

Carruthers · 08-30-2014, 04:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sundae

Just because you have a suit and a briefcase, doesn't mean you have a sense of smell

Almost Confucian.

07-20-2014, 10:53 AM	#1
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	'Man bag'...that brings to mind a couple of visuals... ...but, I have to say, 'man bag' beats the hell outta 'murse'. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

07-22-2014, 02:57 PM	#4
Carruthers Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Buckinghamshire UK Posts: 4,059	I know that I shouldn't mock... In another thread I said that 'The English language is remarkably flexible and I always think that it is a bit like Linux, available to all to adopt and adapt to their own requirements'. It appears that someone has used that freedom somewhat irresponsibly... London ITV News. __________________

07-22-2014, 07:05 PM	#5
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Maybe they were going for a laugh to relieve the tension of disappointed customers. Nah, I don't think so either. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

07-23-2014, 07:05 PM	#6
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	I would be pissed... __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

07-23-2014, 08:52 PM	#7
orthodoc Not Suspicious, Merely Canadian Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 3,774	I made such excellent pitches to some local clients today that, unless I get major increases in staff and equipment pronto, I'm fucked. I have just beckoned some major players into the fold, and I'm working on a project for another client that could mean endless spinoff business. Pleased but just a bit terrified. But what the hell: it's only business. After cancer it's small potatoes. __________________ The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi

07-20-2014, 10:09 PM	#2
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	Pravda...have you read it today? You would swear you're in an alternate universe: http://english.pravda.ru

07-23-2014, 09:29 PM	#8
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	I keep having those moments lately, although on a different scale. Haha. It is scarey, but great to be generating new business. . Good for you ortho. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

07-24-2014, 04:52 PM	#9
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Mr. Clod got a professional haircut at 1 AM last night. See, his stylist--which is funny it itself, that he has A Guy that he's been going to loyally for ten years, and I just take whoever can see me on short notice at the J.C.Penney in the mall--is Muslim, and they're in the middle of Ramadan. Which means no eating from sunrise to sunset, but apparently modern Muslims have created a workaround whereby they stay up all night eating and partying and sleep as much as possible during daylight hours. Mr. Clod is always up late anyway, and his stylist joked that he could easily get him in around 1 or 2 AM this week, and he readily agreed. __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

07-24-2014, 04:57 PM	#10
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	That is mildly amusing! But at the same time, now I wish I could get a haircut late at night.

07-24-2014, 09:05 PM	#11
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Always adjusting for reality. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

07-25-2014, 12:10 AM	#12
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Trust me, all religions have work-arounds. Where you think Mardi Gras comes from?! Live in any city with a reasonably sized Muslim population and Ramadan makes Advent calendars with chocolates in look normal (in my day, Advent was a time of prayer and reflection second only to Lent).

08-30-2014, 04:12 AM	#14
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Coming home yesterday I was embarrassed by a creaky railing seat. They have them at bus stops, to make sure you don't sit there for any longer than you have to. Works for keeping the local yoof away from bus shelters, not so well for genuine passengers trying to catch buses which regularly run late. Anyway, as I sat down the bench thingy gave an almighty squeaky groan. The only way I can describe it was the sound of a loud suppressed fart which someone had tried to squeeze out quietly, but failed. Certainly the man next to me thought so. He stared at me, and shuffled down the bench. Now I know my sphincter was 100% shut, so it's not like there was a smell. What made me smile afterwards was that he bum-slid towards an old man who really smelled of wee. I know because after Mr Disgusted got on his bus, the old man came up to me to ask for a bite of my sandwich. I gave him what I had. Partly because I was forcing it down anyway, partly because if you have to ask a stranger for a bite of a sandwich you must be in desperate straits (if a stranger asks you for your shirt etc) And sorry, bruises, cold sores and all, I still wouldn't want to have a sandwich back after someone else had had a bite. Leeds. Nice. So, slightly dark humour, but I reviewed it in my mind later and giggled. Just because you have a suit and a briefcase, doesn't mean you have a sense of smell

Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 5 (0 members and 5 guests)