Weird things that happen to you at work... - Page 8

Sheldonrs · 10-26-2006, 04:00 PM

I used to work for a software company that made screenwriting and story dev. software.
One day a guy came into our offices and asked me if i knew where he could find an attorney to take his case. He wanted to sue the writers and producers of the film "The Devil's Advocate" because he said they got the story from actual events in his own life.
That would mean he was the son of satan and an attorney.

SteveDallas · 10-26-2006, 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

. . . I don't return calls when a cold calling sales droid leaves a message.

I will if they're actually selling something I want to buy. It usually doesn't end happily (the last time I did this was when I was looking for a T1, and he told me if I had my network set up properly I really didn't need more than 5 IP addresses) but once in a while something interesting comes of it. My current nemeses are somebody with a training company, and one selling Nortel PBXs.

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

Some of them have learned that calling the receptionist and being transferred can sometimes work, so now I don't answer calls from the receptionist. It sucks.

On our system if the receptionist transfers the call and then lets it go I still get to see the caller ID of the outside caller. And they usually do this because they can tell it's a sales call and they don't feel an urge to stay on the line and say, "Hi Steve, Mr. Farkleston from Amalgamated Network Widgets is on the line."

Flint · 10-27-2006, 09:30 AM

...mmmmmmm...amalgamated network widgets....

wolf · 10-28-2006, 12:37 AM

Someone befouled the watercooler by pissing in it. He had removed the 5 gallon bottle first, and then decided that he was thirsty (or wanted more ammo for his gun) and drank directly from the nearly full bottle.

This was after he ripped two phones out of the wall and tore down all of the pictures and signage in the lobby, including the mission and vision statements, some artwork, and the EMTALA notice which is required by federal law to be posted at all times.

Sometimes it doesn't pay to tell a guy with Severe Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, "No, Mr. Johnson, you can't have a cigarette because if you smoke, you will die. You aren't allowed to die here."

Elspode · 10-28-2006, 12:40 AM

You should work in a looney bin, Wolf.

What?

You do?

Oh.

Scopulus Argentarius · 10-28-2006, 12:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

Someone befouled the watercooler

Interesting words chosen...Sounds very Victorian ...

Imagine all of your patients with polite accents and dry humor...

Griff · 10-28-2006, 07:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scopulus Argentarius

Imagine all of your patients with polite accents and dry humor...

I'm saving this idea, seems useful.

Spexxvet · 10-28-2006, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wolf

Someone befouled the watercooler by pissing in it. He had removed the 5 gallon bottle first, and then decided that he was thirsty (or wanted more ammo for his gun) and drank directly from the nearly full bottle.

This was after he ripped two phones out of the wall and tore down all of the pictures and signage in the lobby, including the mission and vision statements, some artwork, and the EMTALA notice which is required by federal law to be posted at all times.

Sometimes it doesn't pay to tell a guy with Severe Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, "No, Mr. Johnson, you can't have a cigarette because if you smoke, you will die. You aren't allowed to die here."

A co-worker?

wolf · 10-28-2006, 12:14 PM

No, because the coworkers don't make a big deal of it when they piss in the water cooler.

morethanpretty · 11-09-2006, 01:09 PM

I cashiered last night and we were at a low point in business. One man came up bought coffee and wanted a double chocolate cookie.
Customer:"As if I'm not getting fat enough on all the chocolate I've been eating"
Me, "Chocolate's an aphrodesiac, so it can't be all bad"
Customer,"Well in that case I'll take the whole stack in case I get lucky other than with my hand."
Me: start to laugh, register what he just said, choke laugh, finish his transaction. "Thank you have a good night"
Customer: "Oh I will if what you say is true"

OMG WOW. I was so shocked that he would drop a comment like that to someone he's never seen before. He was atleast 10yrs older then me.

lookout123 · 11-09-2006, 10:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by morethanpretty

OMG WOW. I was so shocked that he would drop a comment like that to someone he's never seen before. He was atleast 10yrs older then me.

what the hell is Bruce doing in texas?

BigV · 11-09-2006, 01:45 PM

You started it. After all, you're more than pretty, yes?

Edit: Preemptively striking and obliterating any "she's 'asking' for 'it'" comments: STFU.

morethanpretty · 11-09-2006, 06:36 PM

Huh?

BigV · 11-09-2006, 06:41 PM

>pretty girl parries self destructive remark with vaguely sexual positive comment ~= flirting.
Or, I'm just full of crap.

Nevermind. pput me on ignore. Sorry.

morethanpretty · 11-09-2006, 06:46 PM

I guess it was sorta sexual, but aphrodesiac doesn't always have to be sexual (does it?). I don't think I'm pretty. BTW screenname actually has to do w/ a quote from one of my fave books...The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Besides who talks about masterbating in response to flirting (which I sorta was doin I guess...but its a part of my job)?
Don't be sorry, I'll not judge you harshly.

10-26-2006, 04:00 PM	#1
Sheldonrs Master Dwellar Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Los Angeles, CA Posts: 4,412	I used to work for a software company that made screenwriting and story dev. software. One day a guy came into our offices and asked me if i knew where he could find an attorney to take his case. He wanted to sue the writers and producers of the film "The Devil's Advocate" because he said they got the story from actual events in his own life. That would mean he was the son of satan and an attorney. __________________ Laugh and the world laughs with you; cry and the world laughs AT you. Last edited by Sheldonrs; 10-26-2006 at 04:22 PM.

10-27-2006, 09:30 AM	#3
Flint Snowflake Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Dystopia Posts: 13,136	...mmmmmmm...amalgamated network widgets.... Attached Images __________________ **************** There's a level of facility that everyone needs to accomplish, and from there it's a matter of deciding for yourself how important ultra-facility is to your expression. ... I found, like Joseph Campbell said, if you just follow whatever gives you a little joy or excitement or awe, then you're on the right track. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Terry Bozzio**

10-28-2006, 12:37 AM	#4
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Someone befouled the watercooler by pissing in it. He had removed the 5 gallon bottle first, and then decided that he was thirsty (or wanted more ammo for his gun) and drank directly from the nearly full bottle. This was after he ripped two phones out of the wall and tore down all of the pictures and signage in the lobby, including the mission and vision statements, some artwork, and the EMTALA notice which is required by federal law to be posted at all times. Sometimes it doesn't pay to tell a guy with Severe Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, "No, Mr. Johnson, you can't have a cigarette because if you smoke, you will die. You aren't allowed to die here." __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

10-28-2006, 12:40 AM	#5
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	You should work in a looney bin, Wolf. What? You do? Oh. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

10-28-2006, 12:14 PM	#9
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	No, because the coworkers don't make a big deal of it when they piss in the water cooler. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

11-09-2006, 01:09 PM	#10
morethanpretty Thats "Miss Zipper Neck" to you. Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: little town (but not the littlest) in texas Posts: 2,957	I cashiered last night and we were at a low point in business. One man came up bought coffee and wanted a double chocolate cookie. Customer:"As if I'm not getting fat enough on all the chocolate I've been eating" Me, "Chocolate's an aphrodesiac, so it can't be all bad" Customer,"Well in that case I'll take the whole stack in case I get lucky other than with my hand." Me: start to laugh, register what he just said, choke laugh, finish his transaction. "Thank you have a good night" Customer: "Oh I will if what you say is true" OMG WOW. I was so shocked that he would drop a comment like that to someone he's never seen before. He was atleast 10yrs older then me. __________________ Addicts may suck dick for coke, but love came up with the idea to put a dick in there to begin with. -Jack O'Brien

11-09-2006, 01:45 PM	#12
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	You started it. After all, you're more than pretty, yes? Edit: Preemptively striking and obliterating any "she's 'asking' for 'it'" comments: STFU. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

11-09-2006, 06:36 PM	#13
morethanpretty Thats "Miss Zipper Neck" to you. Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: little town (but not the littlest) in texas Posts: 2,957	Huh? __________________ Addicts may suck dick for coke, but love came up with the idea to put a dick in there to begin with. -Jack O'Brien

11-09-2006, 06:41 PM	#14
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	>pretty girl parries self destructive remark with vaguely sexual positive comment ~= flirting. Or, I'm just full of crap. Nevermind. pput me on ignore. Sorry. __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

11-09-2006, 06:46 PM	#15
morethanpretty Thats "Miss Zipper Neck" to you. Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: little town (but not the littlest) in texas Posts: 2,957	I guess it was sorta sexual, but aphrodesiac doesn't always have to be sexual (does it?). I don't think I'm pretty. BTW screenname actually has to do w/ a quote from one of my fave books...The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Besides who talks about masterbating in response to flirting (which I sorta was doin I guess...but its a part of my job)? Don't be sorry, I'll not judge you harshly. __________________ Addicts may suck dick for coke, but love came up with the idea to put a dick in there to begin with. -Jack O'Brien

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