Funny/Embarrassing things they say

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by BigV

eyeaaaah...

Had to explain the opening sequence to Get Smart to co-worker today. *all* was lost in the translation.

Yeah, where do you start?

I'm guessing you mean the movie and not the original tv series. BTW have you seen Danger 5? I saw eps 1 & 2. Totally surreal parody of a parody of every TV show from the cold war, and Hanna Barberra cartoons, Mannix, et al, up through the 90s Space Ghost.

It's a hilarious insane anachronistic trainwreck of a show.

[Gravdigr]

I had to look up the movie.

I'd forgotten it, completely. I was all *there's a movie?*

[BigV]

Originally Posted by Gravdigr

I had to look up the movie.

I'd forgotten it, completely. I was all *there's a movie?*

Shit!

Now I'm losing it completely. . I have NO MEMORY WHATSOEVER of logging in as Gravdigr and posting my thoughts.

Gonna have to add to my wardrobe a note to be pinned to my jacket with if found / return instructions.

Assuming I remember....

[xoxoxoBruce]

You didn't know it all those years ago, but that's the real reason you got a driver's license.

[footfootfoot]

The wise-ass is strong with the mm:

The inch has been mental about bikes for the past year or so and is constantly sharing his latest discoveries. Some might say oversharing, to wit:

Inch: I just saw the sickest bike; it had a dropper post, 180mm of travel, Schwalbe Magic Mary tire--

mm: Whooping cough...

[Griff]

*groan*

[Clodfobble]

Minifob: Did you go to the store today?
Me: Nope, not today.
Minifob: Don't worry, you have some time between 9:00 and 1:00 tomorrow.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Great to have a personal/social secretary to keep you on track.

[Clodfobble]

Minifob had a rough day at school the other day, and he asked me to come "hang out" with him for a bit, which generally translates to laying on his bed with him while he tearfully recounts what went wrong and ponders the meaninglessness of life and all that angsty stuff.

So we're laying on his bed together, he's getting emotional, and his sister wanders into the room. In an instant, Minifob leaps out of bed, holds up his hands, and yells, "Honey! I can explain!"

God help me, I laughed. So hard. And this is why my kids will tell inappropriate jokes for the rest of their days.

[xoxoxoBruce]

That's great.

[Gravdigr]

Ya don't have to be parents to appreciate this, but, I thought you parents might appreciate this:

I walked my daughter into her preschool classroom. She looked for her name tag and picked it up off of the little table. As I clipped it onto her dress, I noticed her teacher motioning me with her hand to come speak with her. Her face carried a smirk, one that I had seen before when I was a kid.

I was in trouble.

I stood up and immediately started sweating. "What'd I do?" I thought. She waved toward herself, inviting me to go with her away from the other parents. Then she began talking in a low whisper. "I have to tell you something," she said. "Oh, God. What did my daughter say?" I asked.

If her teacher quieted her for speaking the truth, it could have had a negative impact on her.

Scenarios of my worst parenting moments began flashing through my brain, including all of the possible things my daughter has heard me say that she could have mimicked. Which swear word did she repeat in front of the whole class?

"No, no. It's not bad," the teacher said as she started to tell me the story. "So, the kids were all sitting on the carpet, and we began talking about Spring and everything that comes with it. I began telling the children about baby birds hatching and things like that. Then all of a sudden, your daughter raised her hand and blurted out, 'Well, when I was a baby, I came from my mommy's vagina!'"

I had to shove both the laughter and pride down my throat. I paused, and then responded, "Well, she asked me once so I told her the truth." Her teacher said, "No, it was fine actually. Until the one little boy said, 'That's a hole, right?'"

Holy hell.

from PopSugar

[Gravdigr]

20 Times Kids Came Up With Their Own Brilliant Words For Common Items

There are some gems in there...

[footfootfoot]

The MM, the Inch, my GF, and I were swimming in a lake in Vermont a week ago and as we walked to the beach there was a sign that said:
WARNING
WATER IS INFESTED WITH EURASIAN WATER MILFOIL

We didn't see any obvious signs of infestation of anything, and we had no idea what Eurasian Water Milfoil was, but the word infestation seemed to imply insects or some sort of dangerous microscopic and dangerous critter.

We're trying to figure out what it might be, milfoil meaning many leaves, but we didn't see any plant life to speak of in the clear lake water.

ME: What the hell is Eurasian Milfoil?
Inch: It's probably not a type of oil.

[captainhook455]

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

The MM, the Inch, my GF, and I were swimming in a lake in Vermont a week ago and as we walked to the beach there was a sign that said:
WARNING
WATER IS INFESTED WITH EURASIAN WATER MILFOIL

We didn't see any obvious signs of infestation of anything, and we had no idea what Eurasian Water Milfoil was, but the word infestation seemed to imply insects or some sort of dangerous microscopic and dangerous critter.

We're trying to figure out what it might be, milfoil meaning many leaves, but we didn't see any plant life to speak of in the clear lake water.

ME: What the hell is Eurasian Milfoil?
Inch: It's probably not a type of oil.

Its Ok to swim there as long as your ears don't get submerged and don't pee in the water as they swim up your urethral canal.

[Undertoad]

all busy gettin' some MILF oil