Kid's sports - Revenge of the Coaches

[xoxoxoBruce]

Good show, coach.

[Sundae]

I love the way you write football, you really bring it alive.
Brilliant.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Excellent point, SG. I've never had much interest in the sport, and didn't understand the fascination people have for it. But this thread has given me a new perspective on the drama unfolding behind the scenes, and on the field.

It also demonstrates the difficulty, and people skills as well as athletic skills, involved in being a competent coach. It's evident that our tutor, Lookout, is a superb coach.

[lookout123]

Thanks guys. Off to the second to last game now. We shall see how it goes.

[lookout123]

Week 9 has come and gone. When I look at the team sheets for the team we are to play, trying to decide on my starting structure I can only chuckle as I think back to the BS meeting where I was told over and over that my team was too strong and had to be taken down a notch. I lost 3 of my strongest players and then wasn't allowed any imput on their replacements. If a player looked like they could walk and chew gum at the same time they were judged to be too strong for my team and replaced with a... um... well... less skilled candidate. Please don't misunderstand and think that I don't like the kids. I do, very much so. Even the one I have a hard time not strangling and then using his body to beat his parents over the head with... (how do you do that strikeout thing again?) OK, so they're all good kids and we're there to have fun. But when the three players I was given so that I would have enough to field a team were all rejected, I mean selected from other teams because of listening/behavior issues, it does make it a little difficult to get any unit cohesion.

Anyway, I went in to Saturday's game expecting a loss. OK, truthfully I expected to get blown clean out of the water. We were facing another team that magically was able to add more players who requested the coach after the season started. Those players are pretty good, but not spectacular. Except when you realize that because he was a new coach I suggested we put Ba, B, and K on his team to help him get started. Those three are some of our top notch REALLY outstanding players from the club team. The theory was that they'd be his core of stability while he brought his new team together. But when you add those three to a team of pretty good players you now have a juggernaut. Ba is a force to reckon with. He and LL are friends and teammates for the club team but they are both very strong alpha types. Ba is stronger defensively and LL is stronger creatively so when they work together it's great but when they butt heads... well, you know. Add to that B from my team who has really come on as a player as I've been giving him private coaching for the last 8 months preparing him for the club team has suddenly discovered a rockstar aspect to his personality. He has decided passing is for lesser mortals. All things considered I was not betting on our team to win.

The other coach predictably put Ba, B, and K as a three man attack and put strong defenders behind them. What I didn't expect is that he never subbed those three out. He merely rotated the rest of the team through the defensive positions for the whole game. I put my kids on the field with a weak frontline, strong midfield, ok defense, and decent goalie. LL wasn't feeling well so I started with him on the bench. The other team had us pinned back by three points in the opening 5 minutes. Ba was just dribbling circles around my kids. My keeper was upset but I reassured him that he couldn't have stopped those goals unless he suddenly grew, so he should just relax and have fun. I put LL in his midfield anchor role with B and J up front. I was pleased to see that LL had brought his can do attitude and was willing to work for things. He'd fight and recover the ball then pass up to B only for B to refuse to pass back out and lose possession again. Then B quit running back to get the ball, so I benched him. Now I had LL on the field as a top drawer player with J as a good worker but not much of a force going forward. K and L, my girls hadn't seen eachother in two weeks and really wanted to chill on the bench and catch up on whatever it is seven year old girls talk about. So I had C in the midfield (he falls every third step) and S next to him. Fortunately S can make it about eight steps before falling over, but he inevitably knocks one of his teammates over when he falls. LL and J managed to tie the game up before halftime through pure hard work and desire.

I spoke to B and asked if he wanted to be part of the team or if I should just send him out there and let the rest of the team hang out on the bench. He said he understood so I put him back out there. He and LL were upfront with J and K behind them and S and S in defense with C in the goal. LL and B were passing and moving well and B scored a nice shot from the outside corner. Then LL recovered the ball inside the center circle while B was screaming for the ball in front of the goal. LL tried to pass it to him, but couldn't get an open lane as B was staying on the left side of the box. LL started to the left, pulled a dummy move, and cut back to the right which gave him a half second to do something. He still didn't have an angle on B and he had two players charging him so he shot. From inside the center circle, just short of half field. And he hit it right in the top right corner. He just smiled and ran back to high five his teammates when B ran up and started screaming at him for not passing. I was shocked. B was red-faced, spittle flying, screaming just inches from LL's face. LL was just startled and mortified. Then B shoved him. Then LL punched him in the face. Then LL stands over him and yells, "Are you fucking stupid?!?" At that point B and LL both get blue carded which means I have to take them off the field for two minutes each and the team has to play short. B's dad, who is a friend of mine, was on the bench by the time I got them off the field and led B away. The only thing I heard was him asking "are you hurt? no? Then LL should have hit you harder, you deserved it."

LL sat on the bench without argument and when the game got going again quietly asked, "am I grounded?" I didn't know whether to laugh, cry, or yell so I just asked him which infraction was worthy of grounding - punching his teammate or dropping the F bomb. I told him we'd deal with that afterwards and that he could go back in the game after his penalty time ran out. He went back in and played his heart out scoring a couple more times and making a beautiful assist from the left when he made a run down the line, shielding the ball from the defender the whole way. When he was about ten feet from the goal at full speed he stepped up on the ball with his right foot while spinning his body so he did a 360, coming out of his twist now on the inside and about three steps away from the defender. The goalie still had the angle covered so rather than wasting the shot LL passed across the goal mouth to J who tapped it in.

We lost the game by four points and finished without B - parental vicegrips, L - shot blocked with her nose, K - shot blocked with her stomach, and S - split lip on ground when he fell over from a standing position during a water break.

With that we have fallen solidly into second position with a 7-2 record.

B's parents were frustrated with me afterwards when we were all standing around. They ordered B apologize to LL, which he did ith a typical 7 year old's snear. I asked if LL had something to say and he said "no". I reminded him what had happened and he responded with all the sincerety this seven year old could manage, "I'll get in more trouble if I lie so I won't apologize. I'm not sorry I hit B and if he screams and pushes me like that I'll do it again." I honestly couldn't argue with that logic so I told him fair enough and we all dispersed. I, of course, dealt with the hitting and swearing issues at home, but I really couldn't fault him for refusing to give a false apology. I spoke to B's parents later about it so hopefully the air is clear on the adult side. The kids will just have to figure it out on their own.

One more game then this season and my life as a rec league coach at the complex will come to a close.

[BigV]

holy crap! pass the pepto!

Dude, you should get a raise. Or hazard pay at least.

[classicman]

Ah the good ole days. You eloquence far surpasses my ability to recreate the memories I have of my sons and the experiences we had during their soccer playing days, both recreational and travel league.
Thanks for that L123. The diary of the memories you post here will last a lifetime and LL will love reading this and reminiscing about them when he gets older.

[lookout123]

I just found out that LL and B spent the day at the water park together so my guess is the feud is over. At least until the next time.

[classicman]

What happens between the lines.....

Kinda like Vegas I guess.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Damn, this thread would make a great book.
Required reading for new coaches.

[lookout123]

I'm not so sure about that. It would be an quick way to make sure we never had any veteran coaches. A new coach would take a quick read and quit the next day. but thanks.

[Griff]

Maybe you should write a book showing how to organize programs to minimize nonsense. #1 Parents banned from all games and practices.

[lookout123]

If I did it would go something like this:

1) Organize teams so that they have about the same overall skill level BUT do not separate kids from their friends simply to make it more fair by some adult's calculations.

2) Teach the basics in the first week through demonstration and drills. After that week only use drills as a warm up for the real practice, don't waste valuable time telling kids repeatedly to pass with the inside of the foot. Practice mental awareness and thinking on your feet. Kids will use the basics while doing it and be more motivated to practice on their own when they can compare their skills to their peers in friendly competition.

3) Games are for fun, but don't pretend they don't mean anything. I promise you that even if you don't keep score, every kid on the field knows the score. Play to win. Don't ever tell kids not to play hard or not score. Make it harder for them by giving them different challenges if they are exceptional players but don't ever ever tell them not to play hard.

4) First adult who says "it's not fair" gets kicked in the crotch by every player on both teams, then the coaches, then the refs. Life isn't fair. Each team starts every week with zero points. Anything can happen during a game so try hard and accept that you don't win them all. Sports are a good training ground for life skills. Learn to deal with "unfair" obstacles.

5) (a) First parent who pulls a book out of their bag and starts reading it at practice is named the new assistant coach. Show your kids you care about what they are doing. Yes you are busy. Yes it is nice to take a break from parenting. But just take an hour out of life every week to watch the kid interact with his/her peers without being the one to offer corrective input. You might just learn what a great job you're doing parenting. or not.

(b) Every parent of a young soccer player has to play at least one season on an adult rec league team. This will go a long way to solving the problem of parents not understanding what they see and screaming asinine instructions to the kids at games. If they spent an hour running up and down a field getting pushed, shoved, and kicked they might come up with something more intelligent to yell at the kids than "RUN AFTER THE BALL!" Other lessons will include: not everyone is born to be a forward, defenders are just as important as everyone else, and that big kid who knocked your son down is not necessarily a psychopathic axemurderer maliciously hunting your firstborn.

6) Sportsmanship. So that we can make sure it is being instilled at home coaches will watch and listen as the kids shake hands after the game. Any child who refuses to shake hands, spits on his hand, or insults the other players in the line has to go get his parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, babysitters, and anyone else who came to watch them. The child will be placed in the center circle, given a big slushy and a bag of skittles to enjoy while they watch their family run, not walk, five complete laps around the field. Encourage the child to point and laugh. After the family is done running make sure the child says, "bad job" or "you suck". I promise that child will never exhibit poor sportsmanship again.

That should be a good starting framework.

[HungLikeJesus]

Wow! Now I want to learn how to play soccer.

Edit: I was never in to sports growing up, and still am not. But if I had lookout as a coach at the right age I think I'd have a whole different attitude now.

[lookout123]

go do it. Today. you're never too old to start.

I dare ya You should be able to find indoor and outdoor rec leagues near where you live.

Bruce, you can start here.