What's upsetting you today?

[DucksNuts]

Originally Posted by Tink

None taken.
What about WORK related issues? What about looming deadlines? What about deliveries you expected not coming on time which delays your progress?

Yet the first jump was to marital issues? He has posted much here about OUR lives and 1-sided posts and PMs. I have a side too as to why papers were filed in the first place. No one is a saint, including V. What about what I had to deal with, even though you did not know me? It was a two way street on who could best hurt the other. Trust me. WRONG, and thank God we discovered that. We have no secrets, thus both our names on the last post. I respect him enough to talk to him about my responses such as this. In fact, he is here with me now.

I see your point, but my initial thought was "marriage hick up?", just because of recent history.

No insinuating about right or wrong on either side, just that I thought the response a bit OTT to pexx's reply.

I totally understand the two sides thing, having just been through it with my in-laws, well, now ex in-laws and the things they were hearing from their son and nothing from me.

I was sincerely glad when V and yourself pulled together instead of a part

[Tink]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

We've all encouraged him to look into his heart and see what he wants, then work towards it. I'd say that's what he's done isn't it? In the end. It's what you've both done, and we're all very happy that you've come back to each other.

Anyway, maybe Spex jumped the gun a bit with his comment, but I'm pretty sure he was just trying to show concern for someone he views as a friend. I seriously doubt that he meant it as a bad reflection on you in any way.

Thanks! We did. I hope this puts to rest any more concerns that V's friends have. I am not out to get him, as some pms have attested to, although I completely understand concerns since I was not "here". I too am proceeding with caution as others have attempted to take my place as "chief wench" in this forum. That being said, I hope to not come across as the total bitch....just someone who loves my husband completely and, unfortunately, it took a horrible few months for both of us to realize the depth of our feelings. I do thank you for your support of him and hope that people learn to trust me as well.

He is under a lot of pressure at work to complete a large task. I look forward to the new gray hair it gives him. Very sexy looking!

[Aliantha]

Well I'm sure it'll be that much easier for him to complete knowing he has you to come home to.

[Tink]

Hope so. Hard to be the main IT guy with everyone wanting a piece of you at the same time. That's what happens when you know what you're doing. Good problem, to have in a way.

[Aliantha]

For sure. Maybe he should try and fuck up at work more, then you'd have him at home more.

[Tink]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

For sure. Maybe he should try and fuck up at work more, then you'd have him at home more.

Ah....no.

[Spexxvet]

I apologize for being interested and concerned, Tink and Big V.

[Sundae]

I went to the doctor and it is just a muscle spasm which was affecting the nerves locally. I don't have to rest any more, so am going back to the gym tomorrow. This makes me happy actually, but is the conclusion to the other posts so it makes more sense here.

Couldn't sleep last night - one of the bad ones laying awake and worrying with anxious dreams starring an array of ex lover who I had promised something to and family who I had let down. Got some sleeping tablets from the docs - I'm going to drug myself back into a proper schedule rather than force myself back into it like last time. I would help if HM kept the same schedule but I like the kitchen to myself in the mornings so it's not lose-lose.

Also, on days like this I can barely face eating. Off back to bed with a cup of de-caff tea, and apple and a handful of ham (the latter for the boys). Healthy eating and exercise resumes tomorrow.

[Chocolatl]

Glad to hear that pain in your leg wasn't anything serious, SG. Is the pain pretty much gone, now?

[LabRat]

I too initally thought "Yikes, hope it's not a marital issue". Probably most of us did. I won't beat this any more, but suffice it to say instead of jumping down our throats, a simple "Thankfully, no, work related instead" would have sufficed. If you post here, expect people to be interested and curious about what you have to say. No one here is out to get you, that I know of.

Originally Posted by Aliantha

Tink, I think most of us here want to support you both as much as we can. Especially now that we get to talk to both of you. The journey you two have been on has been a rough one, and we've all sort of been there too, albeit from a distance. ....

Originally Posted by Tink

I have a side too as to why papers were filed in the first place. No one is a saint, including V. What about what I had to deal with, even though you did not know me? It was a two way street on who could best hurt the other. . . . We have no secrets, thus both our names on the last post.

Bolding mine. If that is the case then once things have settled down, I at least, would like to request that you guys share with the rest of us what you have learned from this whole experience in the relationships forum. I for one would like to learn from your mistakes, and hopefully prevent the same thing happening to Red and I.

Originally Posted by Tink

I too am proceeding with caution as others have attempted to take my place as "chief wench" in this forum. I do thank you for your support of him and hope that people learn to trust me as well.

I don't understand what you mean here, by "chief wench". Could you clarify this?

Trust is a 2 way street. You need to trust us as well. No one is trying to steal V away from you. (again, that I know of )
Most of us are rational adults, who have made plenty of mistakes in our own lives and tend to give others including you the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. We value honesty, and accept nothing but, and that is why this is the best freaking forum on the net.

[Tink]

instead of jumping down our throats, a simple "Thankfully, no, work related instead" would have sufficed. If you post here, .....

Lessons: Do not hit. I've had the bruises. Don't scream within an inch of the other's face. Trust me in this one.....the one being screamed at's ear drums rattle. Don't block the other in an attempt to be intimidating. Don't get into "he said/she said".

I don't understand what you mean here, by "chief wench". Could you clarify this? ....Trust is a 2 way street. You need to trust us as well. No one is trying to steal V away from you. (again, that I know of )

In the line of full disclosure, the Cellar-ite knows who she is. She who likes to show pics of herself to someone elses husband and get him all rattled when he is in an extreme emotional state. The train worked two ways there and it was shear betrayal.

You need to trust us as well. .....Most of us are rational adults, who have made plenty of mistakes in our own lives and tend to give others including you the benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise.

Unfortunately, that didn't happen during the tumultuous period. I was tried, convicted and hung.

I see that this is a different group of people when you "enter the fray" so to speak that can be quite welcoming. I no longer have anything to say on the subject as I know this upsets V and THAT I do not want to do. This thread should get back to the more important role of supporting those like Sundae Girl.

[DanaC]

Unfortunately, that didn't happen during the tumultuous period. I was tried, convicted and hung.

I can honestly say, Tink, that I never ascribed blame to either you or BigV when he was posting abouthis troubles. I had sympathy for, and was worried about, BigV as he was a Dwellar going through some very difficult times, but in general I didn't get the impression that it was all made out to be your fault.

Perhaps it was different in PMs, but I didn't get into PMing over it so was only privy to what went into the general Cellar boards.

[jester]

Egads, I think I'm getting sick again. I'm actually getting work done and able to be here too.

[LabRat]

Thanks for your response Tink. I can't know what goes on behind the main board. As someone who sent PM's to BigV checking on him periodically, I am saddened to read that someone here would take advantage of him. From my time here, that is not typical Dwellar behavior.

I can only know what is shared by anyone on the open board, and always keep a filled saltshaker next to the mouse. I had personally had no opinion of you really, either way. I was/am glad to hear things worked out finally in the end and am always happy to see another poster joining the party.

Moving on now.

[Spexxvet]

No wonder LJ has a partner...