Women please vote - Page 6

Iggy · 11-01-2006, 12:23 PM

My answer was no, but I was lucky to avoid it. As it seems that there is confusion as to what that might entail, I will describe the situation that I am referring to.

When I was 13, my sister was good friends with the Mexican gang that hung around our neighborhood. I should mention that I lived in a bad part of town at the time. She brought home her current boyfriend (he was in the gang).

I was home alone when she got there, as both my parents were at work. I am not sure what led up to it, but for some reason this guy thought that he should have sex with me. This was a pretty stupid thing to think since I was still a virgin and definitely wasn't going to sleep with my sister’s boyfriend! Anyway, he started to try to push himself on me, so I told him to get away from me and I went in my room.

He followed me through the house and tried to push the door open when I went in my room. Since I didn't trust him I locked the door. It was lucky I did because started pounding on the door, telling me to let him in. I obviously didn't comply, and after about 30 minutes he gave up. I didn't come out until my parents got home. My sister would have been raped by this guy if she hadn't been willing, I am sure. (She might have been anyway.) He did the same thing to one of my friends who had come over looking for me one day, and the only way she escaped was to lock herself in my room.

To put it mildly this guy was very violent, and I wouldn't doubt for a second that if I hadn't removed myself from the situation he would have raped me. I was most shocked by the fact that my sister didn't stop him! She would have been a witness to this! But… I think she was scared of him. Now that I think about it she might not have even been dating him, he might have just forced her into a relationship. I don’t know. But all of the gang members seemed to have issues with women and tended to be very violent.

Does that make it clear? And I didn’t put myself in this situation; I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was always careful where I went and who with because I didn’t trust most people.

Sundae · 11-03-2006, 09:43 AM

Don't Dana. It's honestly not worth it.

DanaC · 11-03-2006, 09:45 AM

*Chuckles* I know...I know...I was spoiling for a fight I think. Not usually my style.

Buddog, out of interest, do you think a serious subject is best discussed with short snappy posts, or longer more in-depth treatment?

Hippikos · 11-03-2006, 10:24 AM

Simple remedy against date rape; kick him in the bullugs...

JayMcGee · 11-03-2006, 07:55 PM

mmmm........ just checked out the poll-results...... though interesting, I found the tag-line underneath the results quite..... apposite...

"Crash programs fail because they are based on the theory that, with nine women pregnant, you can get a baby a month.
--Wernher von Braun"

DucksNuts · 11-03-2006, 08:49 PM

Eh RK - if I read your post today, I wouldnt of taken offense at all. I must of been pissie about something that day.

11-03-2006, 08:52 PM

No sweat.

xoxoxoBruce · 11-05-2006, 12:13 AM

Good thing we only joke about less serious things like murder, torture, war, starvation, disease, etc....

Aliantha · 11-05-2006, 05:12 PM

The purpose of this thread was to illustrate the actual number of women - or men - whose lives are touched by rape. The reason behind wanting to illustrate this fact is that when people crack jokes about rape, they might be playing to a very limited audience, not to mention bringing back terrible memories which are sometimes best left in the past.

So, for those of you that feel the need, go ahead and joke about it all you like. It seems that perhaps this was a pointless excercise anyway. I'll just accept that I was wrong and instead of trying to create understanding next time, I'll just decide the person cracking the joke is an insensitive fuckwit and react accordingly.

DanaC · 11-05-2006, 05:31 PM

Aliantha. I think you are being unfair. You started a post which led to a debate about the issues at hand. It's a sensitive subject, so naturally there is a risk of people getting a little more heated than a post about, say "Tofu".

I am guilty of getting a little heated myself on this one. But I am still glad you raised it. The fact that humans generally have the capacity to find humour in the most disturbing areas, is an interesting thing in itself. Maybe it speaks of our own relationship with the horror and pain which is an ever present feature of existance.

Aliantha · 11-05-2006, 05:43 PM

My point really is that we'd all do better to consider how our actions or words affect those around us.

As I said, I was wrong. It's not fair to expect people on an internet forum to care that much about their fellow posters.

btw...I was responding only to Bruces' last post. I don't think any of the horrors he mentioned are more or less terrible than rape, and the fact that he chose to suggest that perhaps they might be demonstrates that I have failed with this thread because quite clearly, there is no understanding.

Maybe there can't be for someone who's never been there, so maybe it's not his or anyone else's fault. Maybe that's just the way it is and maybe me and anyone else who does understand just needs to learn to suck it in, shut up, and move on.

DanaC · 11-05-2006, 05:47 PM

I don't think it's an indication of caring, or lack thereof, when someone makes those jokes. I think Bruce's comment was suggesting that they are on the same level of seriousness. Point being we make jokes about the the aspects of life which are most disturbing.

Aliantha · 11-05-2006, 05:50 PM

I'm aware of that Dana. I'm also aware of the psychology behind why people do it, however, all those other aspects affect almost every one of us and so we have a base understanding and therefor can relate to the joke - maybe see the funny side of it. On the other hand, I think rape is something different and it will never be funny in any way to me.

Surely other people can see why that would be? Surely other victims understand why it's different to the other things mentioned as comparable?

xoxoxoBruce · 11-05-2006, 06:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aliantha

I'm aware of that Dana. I'm also aware of the psychology behind why people do it, however, all those other aspects affect almost every one of us and so we have a base understanding and therefor can relate to the joke - maybe see the funny side of it. On the other hand, I think rape is something different and it will never be funny in any way to me.

Surely other people can see why that would be? Surely other victims understand why it's different to the other things mentioned as comparable?

No! No it isn't different. You only think it's different because it happened to you.
If I go out with a friend and the end of the night he beats me senseless, that's not as serious, not as traumatic, not as damaging, as you being raped?
What about people who were kidnapped?
How about POWs?
What about people who suffer discrimination/racism, every damn day of their life?

A lot of people suffer heinous crimes that are hard for others to contemplate how they survived no less came to terms with it.
Most likely, any joke or even mention, of anything serious will trigger bad memories for someone.
That's why their can't be any subject that's taboo for humor.....or there would be no humor.

I'm sorry you've had a traumatic experience, but I'm ever more sorry you haven't been able to deal with it. I'm convinced you haven't by your suggestion that anyone joking about rape is an insensitive ass.

DanaC · 11-05-2006, 05:58 PM

Well, as a victim myself, I can honestly say that jokes like that don't bother me over much. It all depends on who is making the joke and the context of it. Intention is a major factor for me.

View Poll Results: Have you been a victim of rape?
Yes - violent	2	6.45%
Yes - date	11	35.48%
No, but I was lucky to avoid it	4	12.90%
No never	14	45.16%
Voters: 31. You may not vote on this poll

11-03-2006, 09:43 AM	#2
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Don't Dana. It's honestly not worth it. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

11-03-2006, 10:24 AM	#4
Hippikos Flocci Non Facio Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: In The Line Of Fire Posts: 571	Simple remedy against date rape; kick him in the bullugs... __________________ Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

11-03-2006, 07:55 PM	#5
JayMcGee Cardigan-wearing man Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Much Binding In The Marsh Posts: 1,082	mmmm........ just checked out the poll-results...... though interesting, I found the tag-line underneath the results quite..... apposite... "Crash programs fail because they are based on the theory that, with nine women pregnant, you can get a baby a month. --Wernher von Braun" __________________ I like wearing cardigans...... my current favourite is an orange cable-knit with real leatherette buttons.

11-05-2006, 12:13 AM	#8
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Good thing we only joke about less serious things like murder, torture, war, starvation, disease, etc.... __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

11-01-2006, 12:23 PM	#1
Iggy Back and ready to tart up the place Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Kansas Posts: 850	My answer was no, but I was lucky to avoid it. As it seems that there is confusion as to what that might entail, I will describe the situation that I am referring to. When I was 13, my sister was good friends with the Mexican gang that hung around our neighborhood. I should mention that I lived in a bad part of town at the time. She brought home her current boyfriend (he was in the gang). I was home alone when she got there, as both my parents were at work. I am not sure what led up to it, but for some reason this guy thought that he should have sex with me. This was a pretty stupid thing to think since I was still a virgin and definitely wasn't going to sleep with my sister’s boyfriend! Anyway, he started to try to push himself on me, so I told him to get away from me and I went in my room. He followed me through the house and tried to push the door open when I went in my room. Since I didn't trust him I locked the door. It was lucky I did because started pounding on the door, telling me to let him in. I obviously didn't comply, and after about 30 minutes he gave up. I didn't come out until my parents got home. My sister would have been raped by this guy if she hadn't been willing, I am sure. (She might have been anyway.) He did the same thing to one of my friends who had come over looking for me one day, and the only way she escaped was to lock herself in my room. To put it mildly this guy was very violent, and I wouldn't doubt for a second that if I hadn't removed myself from the situation he would have raped me. I was most shocked by the fact that my sister didn't stop him! She would have been a witness to this! But… I think she was scared of him. Now that I think about it she might not have even been dating him, he might have just forced her into a relationship. I don’t know. But all of the gang members seemed to have issues with women and tended to be very violent. Does that make it clear? And I didn’t put myself in this situation; I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I was always careful where I went and who with because I didn’t trust most people.

11-03-2006, 09:45 AM	#3
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	Chuckles I know...I know...I was spoiling for a fight I think. Not usually my style. Buddog, out of interest, do you think a serious subject is best discussed with short snappy posts, or longer more in-depth treatment?

11-03-2006, 08:49 PM	#6
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Eh RK - if I read your post today, I wouldnt of taken offense at all. I must of been pissie about something that day.

11-05-2006, 05:12 PM	#9
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	The purpose of this thread was to illustrate the actual number of women - or men - whose lives are touched by rape. The reason behind wanting to illustrate this fact is that when people crack jokes about rape, they might be playing to a very limited audience, not to mention bringing back terrible memories which are sometimes best left in the past. So, for those of you that feel the need, go ahead and joke about it all you like. It seems that perhaps this was a pointless excercise anyway. I'll just accept that I was wrong and instead of trying to create understanding next time, I'll just decide the person cracking the joke is an insensitive fuckwit and react accordingly. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

11-05-2006, 05:31 PM	#10
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	Aliantha. I think you are being unfair. You started a post which led to a debate about the issues at hand. It's a sensitive subject, so naturally there is a risk of people getting a little more heated than a post about, say "Tofu". I am guilty of getting a little heated myself on this one. But I am still glad you raised it. The fact that humans generally have the capacity to find humour in the most disturbing areas, is an interesting thing in itself. Maybe it speaks of our own relationship with the horror and pain which is an ever present feature of existance.

11-05-2006, 05:43 PM	#11
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	My point really is that we'd all do better to consider how our actions or words affect those around us. As I said, I was wrong. It's not fair to expect people on an internet forum to care that much about their fellow posters. btw...I was responding only to Bruces' last post. I don't think any of the horrors he mentioned are more or less terrible than rape, and the fact that he chose to suggest that perhaps they might be demonstrates that I have failed with this thread because quite clearly, there is no understanding. Maybe there can't be for someone who's never been there, so maybe it's not his or anyone else's fault. Maybe that's just the way it is and maybe me and anyone else who does understand just needs to learn to suck it in, shut up, and move on. __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

11-05-2006, 05:47 PM	#12
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	I don't think it's an indication of caring, or lack thereof, when someone makes those jokes. I think Bruce's comment was suggesting that they are on the same level of seriousness. Point being we make jokes about the the aspects of life which are most disturbing.

11-05-2006, 05:50 PM	#13
Aliantha trying hard to be a better person Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Brisbane, Australia Posts: 16,493	I'm aware of that Dana. I'm also aware of the psychology behind why people do it, however, all those other aspects affect almost every one of us and so we have a base understanding and therefor can relate to the joke - maybe see the funny side of it. On the other hand, I think rape is something different and it will never be funny in any way to me. Surely other people can see why that would be? Surely other victims understand why it's different to the other things mentioned as comparable? __________________ Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber

11-05-2006, 05:58 PM	#15
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	Well, as a victim myself, I can honestly say that jokes like that don't bother me over much. It all depends on who is making the joke and the context of it. Intention is a major factor for me.

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11-03-2006, 08:52 PM	#7
rkzenrage Guest Posts: n/a	No sweat.