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Old 05-07-2004, 03:53 PM   #76
elf
Yay! We're Dooomed!
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Mostly: New York. Most Recently: New Jersey. Currently: Colorado
Posts: 214
He's a little knight in shining armor awaiting some damsel to save.

...if the witch of a sister he's got doesn't break him before he reaches adolescence, he'll be a noble one indeed, methinks.
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Old 12-09-2004, 01:05 PM   #77
lumberjim
I can hear my ears
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
last night my son hit my daughter. I got pretty mad because it was the second time that day. So i told him it was time for bed. He started toward the back stairs, but i was heading to the front, so i put my hand on his shoulder and turned him. " You almost killed me!" he said. "Yeah, I'm about to kill ya" I said sarcastically.

Without missing a beat he said, " But I wanted a LONGER life!"
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Old 02-09-2009, 02:13 PM   #78
jinx
Come on, cat.
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area
Posts: 7,013
Just overheard the kids talking...

girl: what do you think of when you hear the word "spring"?
boy: bouncing
girl: oh, I think of red
boy: wanna know what I think of when I hear the word "red"?
girl: what?
boy: federalism
girl: what the hell is that?
boy: I don't even really know.... something to do with politics
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Old 02-09-2009, 02:25 PM   #79
footfootfoot
To shreds, you say?
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
Not one of mine, but a friend:
After graduating form College with an art degree (haha) this woman got a job as a school bus driver. First day of driving the second graders are getting on the bus with their macaroni collages they made and the woman is getting all verklempt at the sweet poignant memories of her own grade school art projects and she hears a kid behind her say to her seat-mate
"Get off my macaroni collage, you mother fucker."

It just wasn't the same for her after that.
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Old 02-09-2009, 02:29 PM   #80
LabRat
twatfaced two legged bumhole
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,143
OMG.

I lol'd so hard I had to set my coffee cup down just now.
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Old 02-09-2009, 02:35 PM   #81
LabRat
twatfaced two legged bumhole
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 3,143
Quote:
Originally Posted by lumberjim View Post
my former assistant had a nephew that was a good supply of hilarity. He's the same age as spencer (just turned 5) and one day his dad gave him a dollar bill. Anthony looks up at him and says,"thanks,dad, but could I have 100 dollars?" His dad says,"Anthony, what are you going to do with a hundred dollars?"
Anthony says," Dad, what am I going to do with ONE dollar?!"
My daughter's Kindergarten class just recently celebrated their 100th day of school. One of the things they did was discuss what they would do with $100.

me, very interested in her answer: "so, what did you say?"

she: "I would buy a guinea pig, and then a puppy. Then if I had at one dollar left, I would give it to the poor" (she is fixated on "the poor" lately)

me, slightly proud of her for thinking of that: "Oh, that's really thoughtful. But why only a dollar?"

she: "Well, what can you buy with only one dollar these days??"

me:
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Old 02-09-2009, 08:56 PM   #82
classicman
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
HA! Kids are great.
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