Baby-name remorse

[xoxoxoBruce]

Baby-name remorse -- what do you do?

Not as unusual as I expected.

Regret is common after any big decision, and few prenatal decisions these days are as open to debate as picking a child's name. Rare are the parents who haven't invested in a small library of baby-name books or trolled the Internet for a name unique enough to be usefully Googled, but not so weird as to cause ridicule.

"Today, there's this perception that naming a child is almost like naming a product -- there's this huge national drive now to not be like anyone else," says Laura Wattenberg, author of "The Baby Name Wizard" and founder of the blog BabyNameWizard.com.

That may be one reason some parents have second thoughts when they realize they've picked the present-day equivalent of Jennifer or Justin.

But it can be hazardous.

Noting that by 12 months children already recognize the sound of their names, Dr. Karla Umpierre, a Miami psychologist and family counselor, encourages parents to get the child's input and approval if they decide to change the name after age 2. "It's best to change the name before then, because by 2 or 3 they have a sense of identity, and it could send mixed messages. The child might ask himself, 'Do you want to change me?'"

"Stability is very important for children," says Dr. Umpierre. "And changing a name could create a lot of insecurity."

And it ain't easy.

The more she reflected, the more she wanted to change Luke's name to Beckett Shaw Grayson. The process involved hours on the phone with the Social Security office and the county clerk. She found that although it's legal to change a minor's name (as long as both parents consent), states don't always have a well-oiled system in place for regretful parents.

When her son's new Social Security card arrived, it read, erroneously, "Shaw Luke Grayson."

The Eadies, too, were bounced from one government agency to another. Eventually they filed the paperwork with a probate-court judge to change "Emma" to "Caroline."

I suppose it's a good thing the government makes it tough, otherwise they might be swamped with parents twisting their kids.