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10-02-2008, 12:13 PM | #1 |
barely disguised asshole, keeper of all that is holy.
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 23,401
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Dredging - That's a great description of it. Man I gotta say it gets more difficult as they get older. That could be due in part to past failures though. Hmm, contemplating on that one.
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"like strapping a pillow on a bull in a china shop" Bullitt |
10-02-2008, 12:38 PM | #2 |
Goon Squad Leader
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Seattle
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One. Bucket. At. A. Time.
Dump the crap on the bank. Repeat. Take periodic breaks. Back to work.
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Be Just and Fear Not. |
10-03-2008, 06:54 AM | #4 |
Doctor Wtf
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Badelaide, Baustralia
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BigV, I believe parenting is just about the hardest job there is. To get a child to become a competent adult amongst all the possible ways of going wrong takes a huge amount of work, ability, patience and a fair bit of luck.
On the bright side, there are a lot of different ways it can go right. I reckon your lad has a pretty good chance.
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Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl. |
10-05-2008, 09:58 PM | #5 |
Multiorgasmic and wrapped in plastic
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Central Tennessee
Posts: 483
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I'm a new mom at 25, and I have to admit, I'm terrified. My daughter's ten months old now, and I see new skills and new advances every day. She's figured out how to be rebellious, how to push and test the limits, how to fuss back at me when I scold her, and I really don't know how to respond to that, other than a firm no and angry face to show her such behavior isn't acceptable. I have trouble dealing with discipline on a daily basis now; I can't imagine how she's going to be in ten, twelve years. -shudders- One day at a time, I guess?
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10-06-2008, 06:43 PM | #6 | |
trying hard to be a better person
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Location: Brisbane, Australia
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Quote:
The best advice I can offer you is to be consistant. If you discipline her for something once, just always do it. If she figures out that she'll get her own way by pushing the point, you'll be digging yourself a hole so big you'll need to be airlifted out of it.
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Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber |
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10-07-2008, 08:09 AM | #7 | |
™
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At that age, saying "no" and redirecting the baby to something else is probably the best bet. Just try to be consistent. That really is the key. They eventually figure out what the heck you want them to do, but only when you are consistent. It's not going to be a one time deal of saying "no" and then she'll never do it again. You'll have to do it over and over again. But they learn. |
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10-07-2008, 06:09 PM | #9 |
trying hard to be a better person
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Believe it or not glatt, even newborns figure out very quickly how to get their parents to come running. That's a clinical fact btw, not something I just pulled out of my arse.
As an example, there was a study done at one stage on children of disabled parents. What they found most interesting was that children of deaf parents rarely made any noise during their tantrums. This behaviour developed from the begining.
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Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber |
10-08-2008, 10:34 AM | #10 | |
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Quote:
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10-08-2008, 10:44 AM | #11 |
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
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Location: Austin, TX
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Not the study Aliantha was talking about, but a similar one: Hearing babies of deaf parents "babble" with their hands as young as six months, in ways babies of hearing parents don't.
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10-08-2008, 01:13 PM | #12 |
Goon Squad Leader
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I'm straining not to seem combative on this point. I honestly don't want a fight over it.
So here's my take on it. A newborn doesn't manipulate the parents. No way. A newborn is a baby and my adult reactions to it are coming from me. I'm not... What I do in response to what I'm hearing seeing smelling sensing from the baby is because of my thoughts and decisions and instincts. The baby's not manipulating me, come on. The baby wants food, comfort, rest. There's not an "agenda" that rises to the level of manipulation. Not before a year, no way. Certainly as they grow and become more aware of themselves and of others and experience the staggering epiphany that those aren't the same, then it's possible to imagine that they're doing something to get *somebody else* to do something. Until then, their actions are mostly REactions to their own internal states. I've spent plenty of time around babies and I love them. Even the ones I love can "make me feel manipulated". But honestly, that feeling comes from me, not from the baby. Because I want to soothe her, because I want to make him laugh. Because I need to breathe fewer poop molecules. That's all me. The crying and giggling and arm waving and drooling, that's all just being a baby.
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Be Just and Fear Not. |
10-08-2008, 01:41 PM | #13 |
Wearing her bitch boots
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Babies behave in certain ways in order to get their needs met. Nothing more. It is our job as parents to meet those needs.
Manipulation implies fraud, deception or devious behavior for one's own advantage. A baby's cognitive skills and reasoning abilities are not nearly developed enough for them to be capable of manipulation. Is a crying child manipulating the parent? Wanting to be held, loved, and comforted is just as much a 'need' as hunger, discomfort, and being tired.
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"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." - Mahatma Gandhi |
10-08-2008, 04:32 PM | #14 | |
still says videotape
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If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis |
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11-11-2008, 11:44 AM | #15 | |
I know, right?
Join Date: Aug 2008
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My little 'uns have always deftly twisted me around their little fingers and darn it, they're turning out pretty good. |
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