R.I.P. momwolf - Page 4

Sundae · 10-28-2009, 05:26 AM

Wolf, I have very much admired the way you've taken care of your mother, and the humour you've brought to what must at times have been frustrating and miserable.

Every now and then I remember your story of your Mum picking all the raisins out of the cereal because she thought you wouldn't eat it otherwise. And then scoffing them herself. It is funny, but it illustrated something I can't quite articulate about older parents and makes me feel a little sad too.

Your Mum was very lucky to have your support, love, common sense and respect while her health declined. Having had a very short dose of taking care of an elderly relative, and seeing my Mum do the same thing for the last year, I understand how strong the bonds of love are especially in difficult situations and how deep the loss must be.

I'm so sorry for you and your sister.
Much love in the time to come.

Spexxvet · 10-28-2009, 08:29 AM

Sorry for your loss, Wolf. You have my sympathy and condolences.

Queen of the Ryche · 10-28-2009, 12:31 PM

There's something in my eye, Eva.
She's at peace - hope you can be too.
Love, Kate

Madman · 10-28-2009, 01:00 PM

My condolences Wolf. It's always sad when one loses a loved one.

Dagney · 10-28-2009, 06:52 PM

Our condolences Wolf - you are in our thoughts.

Please let me know if you need anything.

Kellie

Scopulus Argentarius · 10-28-2009, 10:30 PM

My Condolences.

Tulip · 10-29-2009, 12:05 AM

My condolences to you and your family.

wolf · 10-30-2009, 08:29 AM

siswolf went home yesterday, so I am alone for the first time.

I haven't been able to get to some of the things I know have to be done, like the clothes sorting. I just don't feel like it.

I just got a call from the funeral home saying I could pick up the cremains and the death certificates. I'll be heading over in about an hour.

Yesterday the flowers started arriving. Now, I had bought flowers for momwolf's birthday that are still going strong, so they are +1 to this pile ... 3 flower arrangements (two from siswolf's cow orkers), one dish garden (the nuthouse always sends a dish garden), and, bless their hearts, more of siswolf's cow orkers were smart enough to figure out that we had had enough of the bloody flowers, and sent us an Edible Bouquet.

BrianR · 10-30-2009, 08:43 AM

Go ahead and put off the little things, like clothes. That can wait. Finish grieving and tend to the important things first. You have been doing a fantastic job already, keep it up.

Sundae · 10-30-2009, 09:11 AM

I didn't know her at all.
But your last post made me cry, Wolf.

Damnit.
I've got a funeral next Weds (Breda) alongside Crying-is-Weakness Woman, aka Mum. Not sure how I'll get by. I hate doing stoic when it's not how I feel.

But I'm with Brian.
I have never lost a very close relative, but those that have (even Mum) say take your time and just feel what you feel. Don't keep everything, but don't keep nothing. If you get what I mean.

wolf · 10-30-2009, 11:35 AM

Be as weak as you like. Actually, i think that expressing emotion, particularly publicly, is more of a sign of strength than holding it all in. But that's just me.

Picked up momwolf's cremains. Not sure where I want to put her, though. It's a very low-key maple box with her name and dates engraved in it. They spelled her name right, thank goodness. I suppose they triple check that.

I slid the urn open to see what I'd gotten, found a plastic bag full of momwolf,with several tags, both inside and out confirming her identity, along with a lovely brass nameplate that probably gets attached to urns where the name and dates aren't directly engraved.

limey · 10-30-2009, 01:59 PM

Speaking from experience of the death of close family member - if there is no external reason to hurry through the next tasks do them at your own pace, Wolf. You will know when you are ready to do the next thing, and what that is.
I know my current situation is different, in that my mum is still alive, but I am pacing myself in the disposal of her effects, and glad that I am not (yet) being hurried out of the cottage we rented (and are still renting) for her. This has allowed me to do things my way - starting with things that didn't matter, given to people who would return them if, miraculously, my mother returned to normal. Only this week have I begun to do things that are irreversible - selling stuff, taking stuff to the charity shop [thrift store], throwing stuff away, packing up things which define her as a person to send away in the hope that they'll be useful in the future to others with similar interests.
Of course, with momwolf living in your flat, you have different considerations - but this is a time when you should be gentle with yourself. Listen to your heart and be guided by it. Be kind to yourself.

DanaC · 10-30-2009, 06:12 PM

So sorry for your loss Wolf. You handle it the way you handle it. There's no right or wrong way. *hugs*

slang · 11-01-2009, 01:08 AM

I'm sorry for your loss Wolf.

bluecuracao · 11-01-2009, 04:03 PM

I'm very sad to hear about your mom, Wolf...MB and I are thinking about you, and wishing you peace and comfort.

10-28-2009, 05:26 AM	#1
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Wolf, I have very much admired the way you've taken care of your mother, and the humour you've brought to what must at times have been frustrating and miserable. Every now and then I remember your story of your Mum picking all the raisins out of the cereal because she thought you wouldn't eat it otherwise. And then scoffing them herself. It is funny, but it illustrated something I can't quite articulate about older parents and makes me feel a little sad too. Your Mum was very lucky to have your support, love, common sense and respect while her health declined. Having had a very short dose of taking care of an elderly relative, and seeing my Mum do the same thing for the last year, I understand how strong the bonds of love are especially in difficult situations and how deep the loss must be. I'm so sorry for you and your sister. Much love in the time to come. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

10-28-2009, 08:29 AM	#2
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	Sorry for your loss, Wolf. You have my sympathy and condolences. __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

10-28-2009, 12:31 PM	#3
Queen of the Ryche is fleeing the scene Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Beautiful CO Posts: 1,510	There's something in my eye, Eva. She's at peace - hope you can be too. Love, Kate __________________ Once, in an interview, Chuck Norris admitted that he was not the most awesome thing ever. He declined to elaborate; but I believe we all know that he was referring to the existence of chocolate covered bacon. I'd rather be judged by twelve than carried by six.

10-28-2009, 06:52 PM	#5
Dagney The Prodigal Brat Returneth Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: North Cackalacky Posts: 1,107	Our condolences Wolf - you are in our thoughts. Please let me know if you need anything. Kellie __________________ The Constitution gives every American the right to make a total fool out of himself. But that doesn't mean you need to.

10-30-2009, 08:29 AM	#8
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	siswolf went home yesterday, so I am alone for the first time. I haven't been able to get to some of the things I know have to be done, like the clothes sorting. I just don't feel like it. I just got a call from the funeral home saying I could pick up the cremains and the death certificates. I'll be heading over in about an hour. Yesterday the flowers started arriving. Now, I had bought flowers for momwolf's birthday that are still going strong, so they are +1 to this pile ... 3 flower arrangements (two from siswolf's cow orkers), one dish garden (the nuthouse always sends a dish garden), and, bless their hearts, more of siswolf's cow orkers were smart enough to figure out that we had had enough of the bloody flowers, and sent us an Edible Bouquet. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

10-28-2009, 01:00 PM	#4
Madman has left the building. Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 455	My condolences Wolf. It's always sad when one loses a loved one.

10-28-2009, 10:30 PM	#6
Scopulus Argentarius Your current user title is: Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: BTR Posts: 301	My Condolences.

10-29-2009, 12:05 AM	#7
Tulip Professor Join Date: May 2008 Location: Houston, TX Posts: 1,293	My condolences to you and your family.

10-30-2009, 08:43 AM	#9
BrianR Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 3,338	Go ahead and put off the little things, like clothes. That can wait. Finish grieving and tend to the important things first. You have been doing a fantastic job already, keep it up. __________________ Never be afraid to tell the world who you are. -- Anonymous

10-30-2009, 09:11 AM	#10
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	I didn't know her at all. But your last post made me cry, Wolf. Damnit. I've got a funeral next Weds (Breda) alongside Crying-is-Weakness Woman, aka Mum. Not sure how I'll get by. I hate doing stoic when it's not how I feel. But I'm with Brian. I have never lost a very close relative, but those that have (even Mum) say take your time and just feel what you feel. Don't keep everything, but don't keep nothing. If you get what I mean. __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

10-30-2009, 11:35 AM	#11
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Be as weak as you like. Actually, i think that expressing emotion, particularly publicly, is more of a sign of strength than holding it all in. But that's just me. Picked up momwolf's cremains. Not sure where I want to put her, though. It's a very low-key maple box with her name and dates engraved in it. They spelled her name right, thank goodness. I suppose they triple check that. I slid the urn open to see what I'd gotten, found a plastic bag full of momwolf,with several tags, both inside and out confirming her identity, along with a lovely brass nameplate that probably gets attached to urns where the name and dates aren't directly engraved. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

10-30-2009, 01:59 PM	#12
limey Encroaching on your decrees Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: An island within the south-west coast of Scotland Posts: 7,016	Speaking from experience of the death of close family member - if there is no external reason to hurry through the next tasks do them at your own pace, Wolf. You will know when you are ready to do the next thing, and what that is. I know my current situation is different, in that my mum is still alive, but I am pacing myself in the disposal of her effects, and glad that I am not (yet) being hurried out of the cottage we rented (and are still renting) for her. This has allowed me to do things my way - starting with things that didn't matter, given to people who would return them if, miraculously, my mother returned to normal. Only this week have I begun to do things that are irreversible - selling stuff, taking stuff to the charity shop [thrift store], throwing stuff away, packing up things which define her as a person to send away in the hope that they'll be useful in the future to others with similar interests. Of course, with momwolf living in your flat, you have different considerations - but this is a time when you should be gentle with yourself. Listen to your heart and be guided by it. Be kind to yourself. __________________ Living it up on the edge ... of civilisation, within the southwest coast of

11-01-2009, 01:08 AM	#14
slang St Petersburg, Florida Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 3,423	I'm sorry for your loss Wolf. __________________ FTFF

11-01-2009, 04:03 PM	#15
bluecuracao in a mood, not cupcake Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Philadelphia Posts: 3,034	I'm very sad to hear about your mom, Wolf...MB and I are thinking about you, and wishing you peace and comfort.

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