CyberBully - Page 4

Pico and ME · 03-27-2009, 12:39 PM

Shawnee, their skin is very thin when it comes to this subject and rightly so. They are going to be prickly....let them have it. Count your blessings that you never had to deal with the inhumanly humiliating effects of being a bully's target. Ive been there too, a little bit...its hellish, and life shaping.

Shawnee123 · 03-27-2009, 12:42 PM

Well, there are things I am quite prickly about too (see: only people I care about treating me badly and make your own conclusions) but I don't expect everyone to understand that or even to care.

We have all had crosses to bear.

If I say I'm sorry if I seem heartless one more time will it mean something? Keep in mind I never say anything remotely resembling a lie.

lumberjim · 03-27-2009, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC

Lj. I hear what you say. BUt to me, you just add to the noise. The hazy cloud that stops people seeing clearly who actually is the victim and where the responsibility actually lies.

So come on. Hey Shaw, Classic and Jim: why don't you tell me now that I asked for it. Tell me, did I paint victim on my back? Was that me?

please don't put words in my mouth. I am quite capable of getting in my own trouble......

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

troll

TheMercenary · 03-27-2009, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lumberjim

please don't put words in my mouth. I am quite capable of getting in my own trouble......

troll

Cyber Bully.

Pico and ME · 03-27-2009, 12:46 PM

Awww...Im sorry, I dont mean to dump on you, Im just saying we all know that you arent heartless.

Pie · 03-27-2009, 12:47 PM

Shaw, I never saw you as being heartless, fwiw. As you say, these crosses are individually tailored.

Pie · 03-27-2009, 12:59 PM

Will you two knock it off and get a room already?

lumberjim · 03-27-2009, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pie

Will you two knock it off and get a room already?

why don't YOU shut yer Pie hole?

DanaC · 03-27-2009, 01:20 PM

Shawnee. I didn't and don't think you heartless. And yes I was being condescending, but with respect, it was in response to this condescension:

Quote:

Why was I never bullied? I suppose there are a lot of reasons: lack of qualified bulliers perhaps, but I also feel that I never put myself out there for that. I've said before I'm scarily fearless ('cept for spiders) and perhaps I've always carried myself in a way that precluded me seeming victimizable. It's also not that there weren't people in my childhood, or young adulthood, who didn't try to go there. They quickly gave up that effort when they saw I wasn't playing that game.

Again, it adds to the idea that people who get bullied are drawing the bully. I didn't play the game. I have never been a quiet victim.

DanaC · 03-27-2009, 01:24 PM

I might point out at this time that I have bullied as well. In my defense I considered had reason. Fuck with my friends and I can be unpleasant. And creative. Impulses and ways of interacting which I have long since trained myself out of. Except in politics, obviously.

jinx · 03-27-2009, 01:44 PM

I see that Shawnee is trying to understand why she wasn't bullied when others were, not that she's being condescending.
Bullying sucks and shouldn't be tolerated, but it is. A place of solace away from bullying is a good thing, but won't really solve the problem.

Shawnee123 · 03-27-2009, 01:44 PM

This thread has made me sad: sad that people are so cruel, sad that the world can be so cold. This is a feeling I've struggled against since I can remember remembering; I've never understood that about people.

Dana, I hope you know I have the utmost respect for you. I certainly don't think you ever "asked for it" and I am sorry to give that impression. My experience is totally different. Yes, I am proud of how strong I can be. Yes, I am constantly dismayed by my weakness.

Now give me some names and addresses so I can go kick some ass.

classicman · 03-27-2009, 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC

So come on. Hey Shaw, Classic and Jim: why don't you tell me now that I asked for it. Tell me, did I paint victim on my back? Was that me?

What the hell are you talking about? When did I EVER say anything remotely like that? I said that I thought the mother was being overly dramatic - does that count? I also ASKED how "girl bullying" was different. Fuckin A - looked for a little enlightenment and you, Pie and a couple others just "bully" me. great way to show YOUR empathy. Hypocrits, the lot of ya'

Then this beaut ...

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanaC

I might point out at this time that I have bullied as well.

So...this life altering aberration you described was something you felt compelled to inflict upon another human? Oh... YOU had reason. So that made it ok, i guess.

Personally what you all are talking about is way past bullying - its harassment. My definition of bullying would be more akin to what (no name) has been done here to certain posters...relatively harmless poking or mocking. I believe I even mentioned this in my 2nd post.

TheMercenary · 03-27-2009, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by classicman

What the hell are you talking about? When did I EVER say anything remotely like that? I said that I thought the mother was being overly dramatic - does that count? I also ASKED how "girl bullying" was different. Fuckin A - looked for a little enlightenment and you, Pie and a couple others just "bully" me. great way to show YOUR empathy. Hypocrits, the lot of ya'

Then this beaut ...

So...this life altering aberration you described was something you felt compelled to inflict upon another human? Oh... YOU had reason. So that made it ok, i guess.

Personally what you all are talking about is way past bullying - its harassment. My definition of bullying would be more akin to what (no name) has been done here to certain posters...relatively harmless poking or mocking. I believe I even mentioned this in my 2nd post.

Cyber Bullies in the Cellar? No way.

DanaC · 03-27-2009, 01:59 PM

*chuckles* Shawnee, I know that.

This isn't really about me. What I am, though, is a person you know, and as such I hope that some of the assumptions that get made when it's a stranger (like in that article) are avoided. The only thing that's annoyed me in this thread was the speed with which that girl and her family were labelled complicit in her victimisation. There is a culture (in my country and in yours I believe) of machismo when it comes to bullying. One is not supposed to 'lie down and take it', one is supposed to 'fight back. Those who become victims of bullying are perceived as weak. They must be weak, because they were the ones who got bullied.

It's pervasive. It feeds into every field in life. Whatever is overtly put into the culture in terms of telling someone if you're being bullied, and it's not your fault if you are being bullied; none of that outweighs the deep cultural identification of the bullied as weak and unworthy. Darwinism in action. This is how many people see it. That macho culture makes it very difficult for people to speak out.

Me? Oh I'll speak out. I am unbullyable. But only because I got innoculated young :P

03-27-2009, 12:42 PM	#2
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Well, there are things I am quite prickly about too (see: only people I care about treating me badly and make your own conclusions) but I don't expect everyone to understand that or even to care. We have all had crosses to bear. If I say I'm sorry if I seem heartless one more time will it mean something? Keep in mind I never say anything remotely resembling a lie. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

03-27-2009, 12:47 PM	#6
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	Shaw, I never saw you as being heartless, fwiw. As you say, these crosses are individually tailored. __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

03-27-2009, 12:59 PM	#7
Pie Gone and done Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 4,808	Will you two knock it off and get a room already? __________________ per·son \ˈpər-sən\ (noun) - an ephemeral collection of small, irrational decisions The fun thing about evolution (and science in general) is that it happens whether you believe in it or not.

03-27-2009, 01:44 PM	#11
jinx Come on, cat. Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: general vicinity of Philadelphia area Posts: 7,013	I see that Shawnee is trying to understand why she wasn't bullied when others were, not that she's being condescending. Bullying sucks and shouldn't be tolerated, but it is. A place of solace away from bullying is a good thing, but won't really solve the problem. __________________ Crying won't help you, praying won't do you no good.

03-27-2009, 01:44 PM	#12
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	This thread has made me sad: sad that people are so cruel, sad that the world can be so cold. This is a feeling I've struggled against since I can remember remembering; I've never understood that about people. Dana, I hope you know I have the utmost respect for you. I certainly don't think you ever "asked for it" and I am sorry to give that impression. My experience is totally different. Yes, I am proud of how strong I can be. Yes, I am constantly dismayed by my weakness. Now give me some names and addresses so I can go kick some ass. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

03-27-2009, 12:39 PM	#1
Pico and ME Are you knock-kneed? Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Middle Hoosierland Posts: 3,549	Shawnee, their skin is very thin when it comes to this subject and rightly so. They are going to be prickly....let them have it. Count your blessings that you never had to deal with the inhumanly humiliating effects of being a bully's target. Ive been there too, a little bit...its hellish, and life shaping.

03-27-2009, 12:46 PM	#5
Pico and ME Are you knock-kneed? Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Middle Hoosierland Posts: 3,549	Awww...Im sorry, I dont mean to dump on you, Im just saying we all know that you arent heartless.

03-27-2009, 01:24 PM	#10
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	I might point out at this time that I have bullied as well. In my defense I considered had reason. Fuck with my friends and I can be unpleasant. And creative. Impulses and ways of interacting which I have long since trained myself out of. Except in politics, obviously.

03-27-2009, 01:59 PM	#15
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	chuckles Shawnee, I know that. This isn't really about me. What I am, though, is a person you know, and as such I hope that some of the assumptions that get made when it's a stranger (like in that article) are avoided. The only thing that's annoyed me in this thread was the speed with which that girl and her family were labelled complicit in her victimisation. There is a culture (in my country and in yours I believe) of machismo when it comes to bullying. One is not supposed to 'lie down and take it', one is supposed to 'fight back. Those who become victims of bullying are perceived as weak. They must be weak, because they were the ones who got bullied. It's pervasive. It feeds into every field in life. Whatever is overtly put into the culture in terms of telling someone if you're being bullied, and it's not your fault if you are being bullied; none of that outweighs the deep cultural identification of the bullied as weak and unworthy. Darwinism in action. This is how many people see it. That macho culture makes it very difficult for people to speak out. Me? Oh I'll speak out. I am unbullyable. But only because I got innoculated young :P

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