Kid's sports - Revenge of the Coaches

[Sundae]

Really sorry to hear it Lookout.
Impressed with your sang froid and acceptance of your part in the injuries - I never hear you moan, "Why me?"

Have a wonderful time in Hawaii (is it National Hawaii Vaction Year in 2008 or something?) and keep us well up to date when you come back. even the icky bits.

[xoxoxoBruce]

You'll be back.

[Griff]

Originally Posted by Sundae Girl

Have a wonderful time in Hawaii (is it National Hawaii Vaction Year in 2008 or something?) and keep us well up to date when you come back. even the icky bits.

It's funny, Pete was pushing for Hawaii this year as well. For no good reason, it's never been on my list, but I guess I'd go.

[xoxoxoBruce]

You guess you'd go?
You'll do what you're told... and like it!

[skysidhe]

The only time in my life I liked a sports column page :P

No really! It was great getting to know you and the team.

[lookout123]

AHA! The dad I asked to fill in for me did exactly what I wanted. He sent the kids out and let them play without the intent of destroying the other team to prove he's a stud. The team won both games by one point each.

I'm contemplating roping the dad in as a "permanent assistant coach", with my true intent being that he'll step up and take the team in a session or two if I decide to move LL up to the next age group. I wouldn't want to leave the kids behind with a coach who uses a philosophy counter to what I've been teaching them. This might be the perfect time to give us all a new challenge.

On a side note, while the knee is still painful the doc has decided surgery is unnecessary at this point if I rehab it properly. I've been running with only minor pain and will start some balance and light weight training this week. My hope is to start making short appearances in games that are slower paced in two weeks. We'll see.

Even better news is that the hernia, while there is much more minor than previously thought. Surgery, while still ideal, is not mandatory. Apparently the real problem was a nasty groin pull that this break has done well for. I'll be rehabbing that at the same time. My goal is to be back on the field and playing at full speed in 5 weeks.

[footfootfoot]

This is a great thread lookout. First, I hope your knee recovers soon. You don't miss the water until the well run dry.

Next I'm just floored by the victims of your apparent talent at finding the strong points in kids, then nurturing that w/o crushing them. I bet that m.o. is so foreign to them it can only be seen as some sort of underhanded ploy to them.

Anyhow, I once heard a man say if you want to judge the quality of a teacher, look at the students he produces, they are a reflection of him.

The reason the other teams suck probably has everything to do with the other coaches being sucky coaches, not your stacking the players.

sheesh.

[lookout123]

This thread quit being a straightforward description of the team's season and has become a hodgepodge of bitches, moans, bits, and pieces, with some soccer thrown in. Unfortunately, but appropriately it pretty well matches the general state of the soccer club and the people involved with it.

Brief history. The President/ partial owner of the sports complex was also the president/director of the competitive soccer club. (A large and silent investor was the backer for the complex) These were two separate entities but in the mind of the public they were inseparable. The President is a friend. He is a very flawed individual who is generally incompetent in the role of president for a large business. Some of us tried to help him along, but it just didn't stick. What resulted is those of us that stayed acknowledged that there would always be some annoying quirks to the companies but we were all family, so to speak. We always welcomed new people in and tried to help things grow.

A year ago it was decided that a Soccer Director was needed specifically to run the soccer program. S moved in from out of state to take the job. He quickly became a friend and joined one of the teams I play on. I, and others, have given him a variety of help during that year. We were excited that he had a passion for the program. As he became one of us he seemed to understand that yes the business had issues but it was profitable and some of the issues had actually reached the point of being a positive. Because of the laid back attitude and our desire to keep things friendly and open people treated the flaws as just part of the whole and looked past them. When a business is run like a business and the customer is just treated like a customer that product had better be flawless if you want people to be happy. When people feel like they are a part of something they will be more lenient. Anyway...

Three weeks ago, the President was fired from the complex. It was quiet and they presented it as a mutual parting of the ways so he could focus on the soccer club alone. But the word was leaked pretty quickly by S, the director. Now I knew that S never liked working for the President, but I didn't know that apart from the friendship he had with all of us, he'd been building a strong relationship with the silent investor. It turns out that he really threw the President under the bus and he is now the new General Manager for the complex. Uh, ok, I can deal with that. They're both friends, but it is business and can be cutthroat. I don't like it, but it doesn't really affect me so, ok.

Except now the changes are rolling in. Apparently the new coaches that came in for this new session are part of the change. A bunch of new referees have popped up to replace guys that have left too. That is a good thing, but overall the new guys are pretty substandard. The biggest difference is the attitude. Because I've been out with my knee injury and on vacation I was out of the loop for two weeks. I came back to find I wasn't in Kansas anymore.

[lookout123]

I knew it was going to be a weird day right from the start. We were driving to the complex for Lil Lookout's first game. He was unusually quiet until he asked how many games we had left. I told him I thought 4. He asked if he had to play in them. *gulp* He followed quickly with, "I want to move up to the next age group". He is still a year too young for that group but could probably hold his own, but I just asked him why. His answer was since the new kids moved up the games were boring. He can dribble and score on all of them and everytime we get players on our team that pass well together they make his friends go to another team because they score too much. He was very mature in the way he finished by saying, "I shouldn't have to worry about someone getting mad if I score a goal".

Holy crap. my just turned 7 year old is stressed out because he can't play soccer with his friends without some adult getting jealous and handicapping him or taking his teammates away.

I told him that we had to finish this session but we can be done after this. My hope is/was that the feeling would pass and he'd relax.

The game was horrible. 3 of my 9 kids weren't there, so I borrowed a kid to stand in the goal. Lil Lookout scored a couple of nice goals right in the beginning but I could tell the joy wasn't there. He tried to pass to the new kid who upon looking at the ball, fell over. It just wasn't a fun game.

The turf needs to be stretched so kids were falling. One of the new refs started warning the kids about "sliding". I pointed out that they were just falling - they are 6 and 7 year olds playing on crummy turf, after all. His answer was that he thought they were doing it on purpose. I asked if he'd ever met a 6 year old before. He just glared at me. Ten minutes later one of my kids gave up a penalty. The ref warned us that it was number 3. (4 results in a PK shoot out). I reminded him that it was actually 2. He told me to be quiet that it was 3. I asked what the fouls were. He was correct about two of them, but the third was on the other team. No big deal he just counted it wrong, but he wanted to be a jerk about it. He came over and told me that it was three, I was wrong, and he knows how to count. I suggested that if that is the best he can count then he should get off the field. He started to get really pissed then, but the other coach stopped laughing long enough to explain that I was right. One of the fouls was against his team, "That's why you let his team take the kick remember?" Now he's steamed but has the count right.

Back to the game. A few minutes later their team is pushing up against our goal. Their kid shoots and hits my brand new, no nothing kid in the stomach. He instinctively catches the ball, then drops it. Hand ball, no question. My kids start to line up a wall but the ref announces it is a shootout, just the keeper and the shooter. I remind him that it is only the 3rd foul. He says it doesn't matter that it's a handball in the box, so it's a PK. I explain that he is using outdoor rules, while indoor club rules call for a different ruling. He ignores me. I tell him again. He turns around and tells me to shut up or he'll have me evicted from the building. I told him that was fine, as I was just trying to help him realize that EVERYONE watching the game was wondering WTF he was doing and that he just MIGHT be wrong. I told him to check with the other refs after the game since it is a pretty frequent occurrence with kids. He got pissed and shouted that he was going to evict me. I laughed and sent a parent to get S, the director/GM, my friend, his boss, over here to decide if I would be tossed or not. S came over, listened and reassured me and the ref that I would be there coaching as always, he informed the ref the call was wrong, but the point will stand because you don't overturn calls. Cool, I'm satisfied if annoyed.

The game ends and we lost by a point. That's ok, it's good to lose a game here and there. I was satisfied because I was hoping people would quit talking about my supposedly "stacked" team.

The other coach came over and asked me what all had happened. I told him. Another coach, who is a friend, listened in and laughed. I walked away thinking it was all over. S stormed over and pulled me into a locker room. He asked what I had been telling the two coaches. I explained once again that the coach had been giving attitude I didn't need when I pointed out the differences between indoor and outdoor play. He got in my face about "not needing his employees making a scene", "poisoning other employees", then he pointed out that my team was "like 38-1 don't make a scene because you lost". WTF? He knows me well enough that the record doesn't matter, it's about the fun. I reminded him of that, but he was still a little over the top. He walked away to leave me wondering what all the business about employees was about. Employees? Since when are we employees? I don't get paid. I'm a coach. I don't feel like dealing with the paperwork required to pay me, so I do it for free, just like the other two guys I was talking with. It was just kind of a shock that all of a sudden we're expected to act like cowering little employees. Whatever.

I was frustrated as I sat down on the bleachers but not overly worried. Then people started asking if I was going to keep coaching. Apparently, they'd heard S telling someone he didnt' need coaches who make waves. I assured them I'd still be there. Then B's dad asked if I was taking LL to tryout at a nearby club this week because of all the drama. "No, I have no plans to do that. Wait, what are you talking about?" Apparently the complex decided there was no room in the schedule for our club kids to play the next session. Oh boy.

I went to S and asked what was going on and he just said "i've been answering that all morning". I agreed he probably had, but people were coming to me, wanting advice on something I know nothing about. I don't like rumors and gossip, so I wanted the facts. Apparently the rec program has grown so much that there just isn't room for all the games we normally scheduled. (No additional teams have formed so I don't understand that reasoning) I looked at the timeblocks and noticed the only two age groups that didn't get time on Saturdays were U8 and U10, coincidentally the only two age groups the former President personally coaches. Although denials were adament, it is pretty clear they are just flipping off the former President. Fine, except that means 120 kids don't get to play soccer now. He insisted that wasn't true - he'd blocked out two hours on two nights during the week where those age groups could play. So that means that we could fit 4 teams per age group, while we currently have 6-8. EXCEPT that those times are directly across from the established and well known times that those same kids have club practices each week on outdoor fields.

He went on to point out he is the GM and he is going to make this business soar. The numbers are going to be awesome. Unlike anything we've imagine. OK, Captain Optimist - but remember that rule about "treat people like customers and they'll expect to be SERVED like customers"? He said a few other things that made it perfectly clear that anyone who didn't like it could leave because the business would be booming with new customers now that it is professionally run. He used subtle but clear language that the people that could leave were those of us who'd been there since the doors opened. Those of us who helped him move from out of state. Those that helped him through his divorce. Those that played on teams with him. Those that had welcomed him as one of us.

That was Saturday. I haven't answered my phone since then because I didn't want to deal with it. As of an hour ago I had received 74 voicemails and countless text messages asking what I was doing, where I was going, etc.

The soccer club is now exclusively an outdoor club. They just announced the teams for the 08/09 season two weeks ago. I am on the coaching staff. Lil Lookout is the centerpiece on the A team. The players I busted my butt to get in are all on the team with him. Some of the parents are nervous about all the drama. I coached their kids rec and am doing it in Club as well. A nearby club offered me the chance to form a team under their umbrella and run it as I see fit. The parents seem to think that is a great idea for stability issues. My own sense of loyalty tells me to stay right where I am while my weariness is pulling me towards quiet stability.

I will most likely be coaching for the club side as planned, right where I expected to be, with the kids I know.

The rec program though? I've got a feeling I'm going to be pushed out. That sucks. Another layer of suckiness is that is where I play as well. If they're trying to sweep out any memories of the people who started the place up, does that mean I'm not welcome to play there anymore as an adult, either? What sucks is that the complex isn't just a building or business, it is a community. We started up there with twenty 4,5, and 6 year olds, about the same 7 and 8's, and so on. Kids played on multiple teams to fill out the schedules. We adults did the same thing. I've personally started 5 different adult teams up there, moving on when each was strong enough to stand on it's own. Our core group all have 6-8 year olds who have been in that building 4-6 days each week for 4 years. We raised our kids in there.
I could not have predicted all this drama before this session began. And all this for a hobby. So much time, energy, and effort spent to build something that was more than just a game.

[xoxoxoBruce]

When hobby meets business, children, and those that care about them, lose.

[Sundae]

Lookout that sounds crummy.
I will admit to not understanding a lot of it, but I get enough to know they're messing with something that should have been left well alone.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

[lookout123]

yeah, I just went back and reread that. I didn't do very well telling the tale. Long story short is that new guy pushes old guy out. New guy goes off deep end. Decides most prudent thing would be to push everyone who was involved in the old way of doing things right out the door even though they weren't especially upset about the change of management.

lookout is old school and bummed at the changes so he came here to whine and cry. lookout also thinks lookout will just start speaking in third person. get it?

[Clodfobble]

The thing that confuses me most is the rec vs. club distinctions. So these are entirely different leagues, but they are in the same facilities and have a ton of the same players and coaches? I get that "club" is supposed to be more elite, I think... but why would one play in more than one league? Just more fun game time to be had?

[lookout123]

Rec program is open to all, from the kid who has never seen a ball, to the stepover king who can hit the corner of the net from midfield. If you walk in the door we'll find a team for you. We'll the basics and as advanced as we can get depending on the kids. One practice, one game each and ever week. Kids come and go through this system. It is basically what we all grew up with. (Very inexpensive and low commitment)

Club is on a tryout basis. While we have multiple teams for each age group that play in different divisions based on team skill level. All kids in the program are more advanced than the average rec player. Not much time spent on the basics as they already know that. More advanced skills are taught, more strategy, etc. 2-3 practices per week, 1 game per week, and tournaments throughout the year. All the pros and college players went through this system. (Depending on the club and age, can cost $1500-7,000 per year, and requires a lot of commitment)

Most of the club players play in the rec leagues throughout the year just for fun and more games. That stops as they get older but when they are younger they'll play any game they can get into. They are, of course, split up in the rec leagues so as not to completely dominate. Most club coaches also coach rec teams as well. For some of these guys it is a significant part of their income. It is more than a hobby and passion for them, it is the way they pay their bills. Many club coaches also coach at schools as well.

The complex (buildings, fields, rec program) were all opened by the same guy who started the club program (a program that is not directly tied to a field or building). The complex required financial backing from an investor who was formerly silent. The club required a small financial commitment and a lot of effort which we have provided. Up until the club operated out of the complex and was effectively an arm of the complex program. The former President was relieved of his duties for the complex by the investor. Now he only has the club program and all ties have been cut.

[Clodfobble]

So... the old guy still "owns" the club league, and will have to move it to another set of fields/buildings?

Is it even possible for the complex to make money just with the rec league? Or is that the deal, that the new guy is kicking out the old club so that he can try to start up a new club in those buildings?