Tiki Bitches About...

[Shawnee123]

ohhhhhhhhh K.

One thing I will have none of is someone telling me I need to adjust my boundaries to suit someone else. I also don't like having my ass grabbed... that's a boundary. If I was living with a guy who really liked to come up to me in the morning and grab my ass, would Undertoad be telling me that it's a control issue, and I need to adjust my boundary to be a better housemate?

I'm sorry, but telling me I should adjust my boundary, which in this case is a dislike of pointless attention-grabbing chitchat from other adults when I'm in my office trying to prepare for work, is just plain stupid.

One of her favorite meaningless ways to pollute the air with talkingtalking includes pretending that her dog has said something, like "Rover was telling me the other day that he believes that it's a real shame that the squirrel commodity market has gone up so far that his favorite bar no longer serves squirrel pie, what do you think about that Tiki?"

What the shit

I just want to check my email and drink my tea. My office needs a door with a lock.

Just to add further clarity, she is a lovely, highly intelligent, creative person and a dear friend for many years. She is by no means stupid or vapid, and in most ways is as close to an ideal housemate as I could have. She just has a compulsive need to be talking ALL THE TIME, making sounds, trying to engage others regardless of what they're doing. Perhaps it is a deep-seated loneliness, I don't know. It clashes badly with my introversion and desire to be left alone, but I would rather vent about it here than hurt her feelings and create an awkward living situation by snapping at her.

And yes, I have told her I would like to be left alone in the morning, and I think this is as close to "leaving alone" that she is capable of.

IMO Undertoad's moronic notions that I'm being controlling and should change my boundaries so that these nagging pointless demands at response don't bother me come across as the classic extravert desire to control and "improve" introverts by trying to force them to be more extraverted, with the misguided impression that extraverted = normal and introverted = dysfunctional. I don't respect that point of view, because it is deeply disrespectful to me and to all introverts.

[zippyt]

so put a door with a lock on your office , or set a rule that you are NOT to be disturbed for the first Hour or so that you are awake , think Dog wisperer


Oh and WE could NOT live togather as I am a Grabber , grouper , gooser , what ever you want to call it

The office was built with a door that's more of an arch than a doorframe, but if anyone wants to send me $600 that would probably cover the cost of changing it.

[Undertoad]

take YOUR stupid boundary-crossing control issue and shove it up your ass, fucktard.

Oh NOW I get it -- you're so highly tolerant of others!!!

what rich IRONY --

I wasn't actually saying that this whole thing is specifically a personality problem on your behalf, just offering you a way to think about it.

But you've convinced me. With your awesome argument, you've convinced me that you're being charitable by letting her live there! and give you a little rent money so that you can't kick her out, but you can just come to seethe at her every morning. That's charity. You're SUCH a good person. That's good behavior on your part.

How DARE she come and try to be sociable. She's a fucking idiot with her stupid fucking dog that she loves and her stupid fucking sing-song morning. Mornings are for seething, does she not see that? Your ONLY boundary is that she must not try to be her version of nice and sociable before coffee! She should be respecting that!!

Living with you -- that is a TREAT for her! That's exactly what she wanted. Every moment in your presence a gift. So gentle, patient and giving. She should pay you double.

Good job continuing to be a total dick. Hopefully you will post about something that bothers you so I can tell you how completely fucking wrong you are, and how it only bothers you because you're a terrible person.

[Shawnee123]

OH for god's sake Tiki. This again?

Your exalted status might only get you so far, and it's transitory.

Colour me unimpressed.

[Undertoad]

Originally Posted by Tiki

Good job continuing to be a total dick. Hopefully you will post about something that bothers you so I can tell you how completely fucking wrong you are, and how it only bothers you because you're a terrible person.

Yeah, well, hopefully when you do that, I won't post a fuck-you argument that completely proves your point.

Exalted in what?

First Undertoad tells me that the reason I don't like having someone chatter meaninglessly at me in the mornings, in a way that demands a response to things that don't even make sense, is because I have control issues. Then he tells me that if I don't like having my boundaries crossed, I should change my boundaries.

I don't give a rat's ass if you're "impressed", Shawnee. If someone's being a dick and shitting all over me, I'll call them a dick.

Originally Posted by Undertoad

Yeah, and hopefully when you do that, I won't post an argument that proves your point.

Oh, you mean that by posting that I can't stand something, and then you told me that I should change so that it doesn't bother me, and I reiterate that I can't stand it, I'm proving YOUR POINT that I should change so that it doesn't bother me?

Yes, I am intolerant as fuck of pointless, brainless, talking-for-the-sake-of-talking. I hate it. How does that prove your point? What is your point, other than I should change to accommodate people who talk a lot for no reason, rather than asking them to respect my boundaries and leave me alone?

That seems really one-sided to me.

[Shawnee123]

I don't give a rat's ass if you're "impressed", Shawnee. If someone's being a dick and shitting all over me, I'll call them a dick.

That's good, because I am decidedly not. I am, however, thrilled that I've been out-crazied.

Funny, how a venting thread about my housemate, so that I can get it off my chest harmlessly, has turned into a "you're a seething crazy control-freak."

All because I really need some time alone and quiet in the morning, and I'm having a hard time getting my housemate to respect my boundaries.

Gotta love that famous Cellar support system.

Originally Posted by Undertoad

Oh NOW I get it -- you're so highly tolerant of others!!!

what rich IRONY --

I wasn't actually saying that this whole thing is specifically a personality problem on your behalf, just offering you a way to think about it.

But you've convinced me. With your awesome argument, you've convinced me that you're being charitable by letting her live there! and give you a little rent money so that you can't kick her out, but you can just come to seethe at her every morning. That's charity. You're SUCH a good person. That's good behavior on your part.

How DARE she come and try to be sociable. She's a fucking idiot with her stupid fucking dog that she loves and her stupid fucking sing-song morning. Mornings are for seething, does she not see that? Your ONLY boundary is that she must not try to be her version of nice and sociable before coffee! She should be respecting that!!

Living with you -- that is a TREAT for her! That's exactly what she wanted. Every moment in your presence a gift. So gentle, patient and giving. She should pay you double.

I mean, seriously... what kind of jerk-ass shit is this? You really are a completely worthless waste of humanity. Obviously, this is how you view anybody who needs quiet time. I think you have some SERIOUS boundary-crossing issues, to the point where you actually resent people who try to define their own personal needs and space. Is it just that you hate introverts, or do you feel threatened by and need to tear down anyone who implies the ability to reject other people's advances?

We can't all be wide-open spaces all the time. Especially those of us who work for a living and need to get things done, which is generally what I'm dong in my office.

[Shawnee123]

No, I think everyone was very willing to listen to your beef, maybe offer some advice, some ideas. The first inkling that someone says something, and not just in this thread, that you disagree with you go off, tell them they're stupid and they just don't understand your particular dilemma, and then boo-dee-hoo that the Cellar sucks.

How much fucking support do you want? You want we should come over and smack her?

I completely understood what you were talking about. However, I was blinded by your cute little smackdown of UT, who was only offering suggestions.

If you don't want opinions about your assorted dilemmas, I suggest you write them on little pieces of paper instead, you know, to get it out, then burn them. Leave well-meaning people, who apparently suck if they don't bow to your every word, out of it.

kthxbai

Also, Undertoad, try reading and responding to the WHOLE quote, instead of excerpting the part that makes it look like I was unconditionally insulting you.

Originally Posted by Tiki

Are you one of those people who can't help trespassing other people's boundaries with your constant, idiotic sound-making? One of those retarded twits who can't fucking stop making noise with your stupid fucking mouth because you're uncomfortable with thought and silence, and if some retarded pointless phrase phrase of babble passes through your empty fucking head it pops straight out of your useless flapping lips?

If yes, take YOUR stupid boundary-crossing control issue and shove it up your ass, fucktard.