Hall of Fame

[Spexxvet]

On Parenting:

Originally Posted by glatt

Absolutely. It's also easy at times. And sometimes it's fun. And sometimes it sucks. It's a mixed bag.

[Sundae]

Originally Posted by monster

Sundae

I would thank you, but the post was so obviously deserving...

[Spexxvet]

Originally Posted by SamIam

I am fed up with a Christian fundamentalist god always messing with our State and Federal Government. The fact that the concept of separation of Church and State exists proves that god doesn't want the Republicans sneaking in rules about birth control or homosexuality and turning them into laws. This is such major hypocrisy for the "party of less government" that I am astonished. Maintaining the nation's infra-structure and ensuring food and health care for our children is too grievous an oppression by the government, but government mandates on private sexual choices, birth control, abortion, women's rights etc. are perfectly acceptable because that's what god wants. God is horrified by two happily paired off lesbians but indifferent to the suffering of a child. Go figure.

[BigV]

You put yourself here, Doctor ZenGum. I function merely as the poster of record.

Effectively, tenure, so long as I keep working and don't screw up (or one of my students).

If I may be permitted a personal comment...

Congratulations, sir. I know nothing of your professional qualifications. But I have had a fair taste of your mind over the last few years. Your students are very lucky to be able to share you with us. Bravo!

[monster]

http://cellar.org/showpost.php?p=769977&postcount=23

[TheMercenary]

Home run Dana.

http://www.cellar.org/showpost.php?p...7&postcount=53

[Flint]

Yo dawg I heard u like meta-jokes in your meta-thread so I posted a meta-joke you posted in my meta-thread in your meta-thread.

Originally Posted by BigV

Oops...wardrobe malfunction.

[regular.joe]

Originally Posted by Flint

Yo dawg I heard u like meta-jokes in your meta-thread so I posted a meta-joke you posted in my meta-thread in your meta-thread. Oops...wardrobe malfunction.

Mind officially blown.

[Lamplighter]

Originally Posted by Sundae

Hmmmmm.
I am speaking English. I just know more of it than you do.

[jimhelm]

I think you're looking for the Hall of Smarm, actually.

[Flint]

The Hall of Smarm was closed after Phil Hartman died.

[BigV]

I love footfootfoot's story. I've been the golem, and I've been the child. Being the child is more fun.

Glatt, I am reminded of this story. I feel I may have posted it already. In truth, I'll answer all your very good questions later today.


Short version of the story:
In a small village there is a hideous stone statue in the middle of the village square. No one can remember who put it there or when, and no one can even begin to imagine who would have sculpted such a thing, but there it sits. This is how it came to be there.

A long time ago, a rabbi found a golem in a trunk in his basement and decided to re-animate it by placing a sacred scroll with the name of god written upon it into the golem's ear. The Golem came to life, immediately demanding to be given something to do. The rabbi tells the golem the lawn needs mowing and all the hedges need trimming. The golem goes off to do the yard work. The rabbi is no sooner at the top of the cellar steps when the golem comes back to him saying, "I've done as you asked. Give me something else to do!" The incredulous rabbi looks and sees the yard is perfect. He then tells the golem to re-wallpaper the upstairs of the house. The rabbi sits down to read his paper and no sooner is in his chair when the golem reappears demanding to be given another task.

The rabbi tells the golem to paint the house. Before the rabbi has a chance to pick up his paper the golem is back, angrily demanding something more to do. The rabbi has had enough of this by now and reaches up to the golem's ear to remove the scroll. The golem smacks the rabbi's hand away, roaring, “I WANT TO LIVE.” The rabbi, terrified tells the golem to go cut seven cords of wood, split it and stack it behind the house. As the golem heads off to cut the wood, the rabbi runs down to road to the home of an older rabbi. He hurriedly blurts out everything to the older rabbi who slowly shakes his head and says “You’ve done a foolish thing…” They are interrupted by the golem smashing down the rabbi’s door demanding to be given something to do.

The older rabbi tells the golem, “After you repair my front door, I want you to go down to the village square where the children are playing and answer all of their questions.”

The Golem repairs the door and goes to the village square where he sits down and begins fielding questions from the children, “How high is the sky? Why does it rain? When is tomorrow? Why is it dark at night? Do dogs go to heaven?”
After about an hour of answering the children’s questions the golem slowly reaches up to his ear and pulls the scroll out.

[BigV]

me, me ME ME ME, it's all about me, this post is.

Originally Posted by sexobon

Addicted To Us

Your PC's on, but you're not home
Your mind is not your own
Your keyboard rattles, your mouse shakes
Another post is what it takes

You can't read, can only write
There's no doubt, you're uptight
Your body's fixed, you can't leave
Another post is all you need

Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to us

You see the signs, but you don't heed
You're postin' at, a different speed
Your heart beats, in double time
Another post, and you'll be fine a one track mind
You can't be saved
The Cellar is all you crave
If there's a clone left for you
You don't mind if you do

Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to us

Might as well face it, you're addicted to us
......Might as well face it, you're addicted to us
............Might as well face it, you're addicted to us ...

[DanaC]

Outfuckingstanding:

Originally Posted by BigV

Good question, here's why.

When you say stupid shit, you attract attention to yourself. When you say really stupid shit, repeatedly and loudly, you attract LOTS of attention to your stupid comments. When you drape yourself in stupidity, people can't see anything else, even if there is a reasonable person underneath.

And when I say "you", I mean anybody. But in this case, I mean you. That you say you're would "off all the people at a gay pride parade", that qualifies as really stupid shit, and you repeated it, you've draped yourself in stupid shit. What else is there for us to see? What *should* we be reacting to?

http://cellar.org/showthread.php?p=808073#post808073

[BigV]

From ZenGum the Droll:

Here we go again.

I teach students, but do they call me Zengum the Teacher? Nooooo.
I do first aid, but do they call me Zengum the first-aider? Nooooooo.
I read lots of books, but do they call me Zengum the reader? Nooo-ooo-ooo.

But you sniff one butt, just one little butt, just once, just to see what it's like, and from then on ...