Humor...I Need Humor... - Page 337

xoxoxoBruce · 06-07-2017, 09:59 PM

Quote:

If the body replaces all of it cells every 7 years, shouldn't we release all inmates after 7 years as they're not the same person anymore?

Quote:

Genuinely good question. You might look into where the sense of "self" comes from, and where the urge to commit crime comes from.

The urge comes from red hands.

Gravdigr · 10-17-2014, 03:03 PM

One more bunch:

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DanaC · 10-17-2014, 03:51 PM

I loved those!

xoxoxoBruce · 10-17-2014, 10:08 PM

NOLA

Gravdigr · 10-18-2014, 01:11 PM

Quote:

...than to own the whole state of Ohio.

Gravdigr · 10-19-2014, 02:54 PM

I really like the comic strip "The Argyle Sweater".

And now you know I do.

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BigV · 10-22-2014, 12:09 PM

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter.

The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"

"Eight", the boy replied.

The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"

The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four."

"Oh, really?" the pharmacist replied with a grin.

"Yes." the boy said. "We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do none of those."

Gravdigr · 10-23-2014, 02:45 PM

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DanaC · 10-23-2014, 05:08 PM

Hahahahahaah. that perfectly describes my current situation.

Gravdigr · 10-29-2014, 11:35 AM

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orthodoc · 10-29-2014, 09:13 PM

"Doctor," said the patient anxiously, "will I be able to play the piano after this surgery?"

"Of course," the doctor replied in a soothing voice. "You'll be able to play beautifully."

"That's great, doc! I never could play before!"

Carruthers · 11-01-2014, 10:57 AM

After Hallowe'en, here's a recipe for Pumpkin Pie:

Divide the circumference by the diameter.

xoxoxoBruce · 11-01-2014, 11:56 AM

.

DanaC · 11-01-2014, 12:38 PM

hahahahahahaha. Dark. Funny, but dark.

xoxoxoBruce · 11-01-2014, 09:56 PM

Insult 'em all...

Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem?
A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat.

Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation ?
A. To a different bar.

Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby?
A. Sum Ting Wong .

Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment.

Q. Why aren't there any Afro-Americans on Star Trek?
A. Because they're not going to work in the future either.

Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a recipe.

Q. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!'

Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A. A northern fairytale begins, ....'Once upon a time...' A southern fairytale begins,... 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit.'

Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?
A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States.

10-17-2014, 03:03 PM	#2
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	One more bunch: __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

10-17-2014, 10:08 PM	#4
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	NOLA Attached Images __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

10-19-2014, 02:54 PM	#6
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	I really like the comic strip "The Argyle Sweater". And now you know I do. __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

10-22-2014, 12:09 PM	#7
BigV Goon Squad Leader Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Seattle Posts: 27,063	Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The pharmacist at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight", the boy replied. The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?" The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four." "Oh, really?" the pharmacist replied with a grin. "Yes." the boy said. "We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do none of those." __________________ Be Just and Fear Not.

10-23-2014, 02:45 PM	#8
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	__________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

10-29-2014, 11:35 AM	#10
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	__________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

10-29-2014, 09:13 PM	#11
orthodoc Not Suspicious, Merely Canadian Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 3,774	"Doctor," said the patient anxiously, "will I be able to play the piano after this surgery?" "Of course," the doctor replied in a soothing voice. "You'll be able to play beautifully." "That's great, doc! I never could play before!" __________________ The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi

11-01-2014, 10:57 AM	#12
Carruthers Junior Master Dwellar Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Buckinghamshire UK Posts: 4,059	After Hallowe'en, here's a recipe for Pumpkin Pie: Divide the circumference by the diameter. __________________

11-01-2014, 11:56 AM	#13
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	. Attached Images __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

11-01-2014, 09:56 PM	#15
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Insult 'em all... Q. What's the Cuban National Anthem? A. Row, Row, Row Your Boat. Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation ? A. To a different bar. Q. What did the Chinese couple name their tan, curly-haired baby? A. Sum Ting Wong . Q. What do you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other? A. A speech impediment. Q. Why aren't there any Afro-Americans on Star Trek? A. Because they're not going to work in the future either. Q. Why do Driver Ed classes in redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays? A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it. Q. What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo? A. The southern zoo has a description of the animal along with a recipe. Q. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the 'F' word? A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell, 'BINGO!' Q. What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale? A. A northern fairytale begins, ....'Once upon a time...' A southern fairytale begins,... 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit.' Q. Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? A. Because all the Mexicans who can run, jump or swim are already in the United States. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

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