I lost you guys for a while!

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by pensive pam

Now THIS??? what else is going on in my 'threads??' may i ask?? not fair to me. and i was going to send 'friend reqeust.; now i will not. i hate myself. have i not be honest???

and now you want to push me over the edge. you want that?
i am happy i have 3 new friends on here,. and now this???

nobody cares.
Pam.

Pam, please stop doing that. It's an over-reaction. MTP didn't say anything particularly cruel or unkind just now and you blew up in her face. If we are all to be friends, we surely must be able to feel comfortable talking right? We want honesty and easy communication right?

Well, that goes both ways. You yourself have recognised that you sometimes snap, take things very much to heart and post angry and upset messages. When you do that, the person you have snapped at might be left feeling a little hurt. Especially if they hadn;t said anything unkind to provoke it. Your earliest interactions with MTP involved precisely this happening: she said something innocent, you misunderstood and took offense and blew up at her.

You have not been given a warm and enthusiastic welcome. It is understandable that you feel that everything said to you is an attack. But it really isn't. Sometimes it's just an established member of the board giving you advice, or a heads up on how to navigate this complicated little community.

*smiles*

Just chill. Nobody really wishes you ill. People are just having a laugh.

[pensive pam]

Originally Posted by DanaC

Pam just to clarify things a little:

Nobody here has any kind of an opinion about whether or not you are poor (ragpicker?), it simply doesn't matter. Nor was anybody really mocking your deafness. They were just picking up on things you said and then feeding that back to you.

For Jill's benefit, I will repeat what has already been said a few times this week. When Pam arrived here she did so in a style that was extremely reminiscent of a very troubled and troubling young lass with the username Starring Emma. This girl caused all sorts of ructions and made a bit of a pain of herself and there was also a slightly uncomfortable sexual overtone with a teenage girl posting provocative pics of herself and soliciting private conversation with male dwellars. To the extent that some people thought she might be a plant to trap online paedos.

Several of Pam's defining posting styles are very similar to Emma's defining posting styles. There are also significant differences.

Emma has been back to the Cellar in another guise and pretending to be someone new. When a new person arrived displaying similar posting styles, and with an opening intro thread that sounded like a piece of roleplay (my Mum's comment when I showed her the thread) or a creative writing project (can't recall who sai dthat), we were naturally suspsicious.

The speed with which drama ensued seemed to confirm that, if this wasn't Emma, it certainly was a troll acting a part.

Even I was pretty convinced about that, and my natural default is to assume veracity and accept at face value until conclusively proved otherwise.

The escalation, for a while seemed to underline that this was an act and as such 'safe' to play with.

I have now changed my position somewhat and returned to my default position. Not all have.

But nobody was actually mocking Pam for being deaf. Nor for being poor. They were mocking what was (and by some still is) perceived to be an acted part, a roleplay. We/They were showing through our/their posts that nobody is fooled.

As is typical in the Cellar that gathered pace and became its own comic meme.

I seriously doubt a single person on this board would actually judge anyone for being poor or deaf. That just wasn't what it was about.

Some of what has been thrown at Pam was in direct response to Pam saying some pretty cruel things to other posters. For example, a poster who had been talking in another thread about wanting to lose weight, was accused by Pam of being ugly and unable to get or keep a man. That's a fairly honed sense of button pushing. And it started extremely early. Long before any momentum gathered behind the recent escapades in here.

Most newcomers who come here do not get jumped on. But most newcomers who come here do not open their engagement with us in a flurry of crisis and misunderstandings.

dana, i never saw any of 'starring emma' posts. i have said some mean things, but only to 'strike back' at the barbs. i had an unfair advantage coming here because of 'emma.'

i do not talk politics, nor post nude pictures. you would not want to see them anyway. i am just very honest on here and in life...

my happiness now is fading a bit,... and to think i was very happy.
Pam.

[DanaC]

That there is the stuff I am talking about.

The running commentary on whether we have made you happy or sad with our posts, coupled with statements about going off to drink alcohol because we've upset you so much...and now that your happiness is fading:

You are using emotional blackmail. Please stop.


I wasn't posting all that to make you feel bad. I was explaining for Jills benefit, and also yours, that like any conflict there is more than one side, more than one actor. You also played a role in that conflict. It is as unfair to put all the blame on us as it would be to put all the blame on you.

[Jill]

::TWEEEEEEEEEEET::

This is the ME thread! Everyone needs to focus on ME here! Me, me, me, me, me!

Pay attention to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

[pensive pam]

Originally Posted by DanaC

That there is the stuff I am talking about.

The running commentary on whether we have made you happy or sad with our posts, coupled with statements about going off to drink alcohol because we've upset you so much...and now that your happiness is fading:

You are using emotional blackmail. Please stop.


I wasn't posting all that to make you feel bad. I was explaining for Jills benefit, and also yours, that like any conflict there is more than one side, more than one actor. You also played a role in that conflict. It is as unfair to put all the blame on us as it would be to put all the blame on you.

You will never understand my pain. so please do not try to identify. now people have turned Jill against me. i never wanted conflict. and now my meatloaf thread is ruined.!!! so now what? where shall i go?? what i am to do to hve intenet friends???
Fine, i am leaving for tonight. but i will be back tomorrow..
Pam.

[DanaC]

This isn't your meatloaf thread...this is Jill's welcome back thread :p

What do you have to do to have internet friends? Stop making everything a big deal and accept that not everything they say to you will be what you want to hear. Friends are honest with each other. If I am not honest with you then I am not being your friend. I have been honest with you.

Stop being melodramatic and go post in the fun threads :p

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by Jill

::TWEEEEEEEEEEET::

This is the ME thread! Everyone needs to focus on ME here! Me, me, me, me, me!

Pay attention to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Jill! OMGZ I totally forgots you was here!

So, Hai, whatcha doin?

[Jill]

At the moment, I'm trying to update my manicure. Typing with wet nails is hard!

I have to pack away all my Passover dishes. This is my way of getting out of doing it. <grin>

[Aliantha]

It's nice to see you back Jill. Maybe you should write the address down the old fashioned way this time...just in case.

[Jill]

Hehe, Aliantha! I put it on my password protected spreadsheet of websites I go to and what my login info is at each. So now it's safe! Thanks for the welcome back! Apparently, I like exclamation points!

[DanaC]

Hell, who doesn't !?

[morethanpretty]

So, Jill, what have you been up to?

[Big Sarge]

Hi Jill!! Welcome back. BTW, do you have a good meatloaf recipe? One other question, are you a hermaphrodite?

[DanaC]

Originally Posted by Big Sarge

Hi Jill!! Welcome back. BTW, do you have a good meatloaf recipe? One other question, are you a hermaphrodite?

Where else would you get welcomed back in this fashion?

[pensive pam]

Originally Posted by DanaC

Where else would you get welcomed back in this fashion?

i wish jill the best. why was i not welcomed in this way?? why, i ask. i would like an answer. i was gong to log off, but now i am not. why was i not welconmed???

Pam!