Divorce: It's not whether you fight, but how you fight

[classicman]

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

What I should judge are individual actions. When I condemn a certain "action" of course it blankets everything, because it would be impossible to then list all of the ways in which this or that doesn't apply.

THAT would have been a much better reply - just agree with the few exceptions that were brought up or whatever. I specifically tried to keep my reply on subject and NOT ATTACK YOU PERSONALLY. I wasn't trying to condemn you. Just raising the issue of where I think alimony IS appropriate.

[monster]

I find lead balloons hilarious. unless they land on my toes.

[Aliantha]

Even if someone has gotten themself qualified for something (educated) prior to marriage and kids, a lot of the time, those qualifications just aren't significant after perhaps 10 or even 20 years of marriage.

We don't really have a provision for alimony over here (although so people are awarded certain amounts considered to be over and above what might be for the kids), but we do have a much better social support system as far as making sure everyone has an opportunity to get back on their feet without having to suffer too much. The non custodial parent is required to pay child support though, and if they have troubles handing it over, wages are garnished and so forth.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

Even if someone has gotten themself qualified for something (educated) prior to marriage and kids, a lot of the time, those qualifications just aren't significant after perhaps 10 or even 20 years of marriage.

True

We don't really have a provision for alimony over here (although so people are awarded certain amounts considered to be over and above what might be for the kids),...

PA doesn't have alimony, as some states do, but there is a provision for support during a court approved training/schooling plan, to reenter the workforce. However, even that's irksome when she's living with her paramour, more so when you're supporting them both.

... The non custodial parent is required to pay child support though, and if they have troubles handing it over, wages are garnished and so forth.

Same here.

[Shawnee123]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

PA doesn't have alimony, as some states do, but there is a provision for support during a court approved training/schooling plan, to reenter the workforce. However, even that's irksome when she's living with her paramour, more so when you're supporting them both.

I think that's the kind of thing I was referring to. When my mouth gets going I must remember that the 'people' I'm criticizing are often caricatures of the ones who do those sorts of things that are just not right.

I get jaded, in this profession, and it's good for me to take a step back and remember the people who aren't doing the bad things.

So, I will even admit that classic was right: a better response would have been to talk about those who are doing the deeds, and not lumping everyone else in, in the process.

My apologies again if I offended anyone. I should know as well as anyone that it's the bad apples that make the bunch look bad...but the bad apples end up being cider in the long run, anyway.

[classicman]

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

So, I will even admit that classic was right: a better response would have been to talk about those who are doing the deeds, and not lumping everyone else in, in the process.

We both tend to do this.

[classicman]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

PA doesn't have alimony, as some states do, but there is a provision for support during a court approved training/schooling plan, to reenter the workforce.

A "TOP SEVEN" LIST OF MISCONCEPTIONS REGARDING PENNSYLVANIA FAMILY LAW
1) “There is no alimony in Pennsylvania”. I am constantly amazed at how many new clients believe that alimony does not exist in Pennsylvania. Let me set the record straight: alimony is alive and kicking in Pennsylvania. Section 3701(a) of the Pennsylvania Divorce Code provides that “[w]here a divorce decree has been entered, the court may allow alimony, as it deems reasonable, to either party only if it finds that alimony is necessary.”

Just clarifying - well trying to anyway.
Oh and I voluntarily paid it a few years ago for a bit.

However, even that's irksome when she's living with her paramour, more so when you're supporting them both.

Thats what made me the most angry. The money was for her to provide for her and the kids (Alimony & child support) When I ofund out she was wining and dining with her new man while the kids were home alone ... or worse. I did a little investigating, collected information, filed and it ended...

[TheMercenary]

So how is your tax system set up?

[Aliantha]

Oh much differently to yours.

We don't get to keep the money we earn here.

[Shawnee123]

Whew. Good. I am glad we came to an agreement.

[classicman]

I think you just used up your BONUS TRICK

[Spexxvet]

Originally Posted by classicman

I think you just used up your BONUS TRICK

Now you're back to Shawnee sexual innuendo.

[Shawnee123]

You know I save all my uendos for you, spexx.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Section 3701(a) of the Pennsylvania Divorce Code provides that “[w]here a divorce decree has been entered, the court may allow alimony, as it deems reasonable, to either party only if it finds that alimony is necessary.”

It's not automatic indefinite support, as in alimony states.

but there is a provision for support during a court approved training/schooling plan, to reenter the workforce.

PA takes it on a case by case basis. If she's working, no. If she's in school, or needs to be, in order to get a job, yes, but only until she's able to support herself. If she's disabled, or has pre-school kids, probably, until the situation changes.

Note: I used "she" because 99.9% of the time that's the case, but it can be the other way around.

[classicman]

Just to bring this full circle - Think of the kids and if you know someone going through a divorce remind them - especially when they are stuck in the hatred and emotionally charged SHIT that a divorce normally becomes.