Punctuation. - Page 3

Gravdigr · 10-04-2016, 04:24 PM

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DanaC · 10-09-2016, 03:17 PM

Ha!

John Sellers · 10-09-2016, 05:40 PM

Jack Douglass did a show several years ago on his YouTube channel called "Your Grammer Sucks". Check out jackfilms if you wish to see it.

captainhook455 · 10-10-2016, 07:50 AM

I look at my wife and say, honey your face makes time stand still, but what if I said, honey your face would stop a clock. It means the same thing, right?

tarheel

John Sellers · 10-10-2016, 02:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by captainhook455

I look at my wife and say "Honey, your face makes time stand still."; but, what if I said "Honey, your face would stop a clock."? It means the same thing, right?

Not to her.

Carruthers · 10-11-2016, 09:40 AM

Punctuation can sometimes be a matter of life or death.

Quote:

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go.

"Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"

The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!"

The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree-dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterised by distinct black and white colouring. Eats shoots and leaves."

Lynne Truss is the author of 'Eats shoots and leaves' described as being 'The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation'.

Said book also has its own Wiki page which relates the above story but confusingly ends with the line "Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves."

To comma, or not to comma? That is the question.

footfootfoot · 10-11-2016, 10:03 AM

One of the problems with aural jokes versus visual jokes. The proper telling hinges on perfectly timing the pauses where the commas would be spoken; too short a pause would sound like a list Verb, Noun, Noun, too long would sound like a description of events, Verb, Verb, Verb.

Unless you are referring to the lack of an Oxford comma after shoots.

elSicomoro · 10-12-2016, 08:15 PM

I went to Canada today, and they flagged me for inspection. They (and American customs) seem to get weird when I explain that I'm in Detroit for work but actually from KC.

"They say it's a lottery, and I never win anything, so whoopee!"--Lewis Black on airport security (which applies in this scenario as well)

lumberjim · 10-13-2016, 08:49 AM

It's your eyebrows

Gravdigr · 10-13-2016, 02:09 PM

"You're in Detroit for what?" "Work?!"

"Please step out of the line, sir."[/rubberglovesnap]

"Sir, what's with the eyebrows?"

10-04-2016, 04:24 PM	#31
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	__________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

10-09-2016, 05:40 PM	#33
John Sellers Banned Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 807	Jack Douglass did a show several years ago on his YouTube channel called "Your Grammer Sucks". Check out jackfilms if you wish to see it. Last edited by John Sellers; 10-09-2016 at 05:46 PM.

10-11-2016, 10:03 AM	#37
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	One of the problems with aural jokes versus visual jokes. The proper telling hinges on perfectly timing the pauses where the commas would be spoken; too short a pause would sound like a list Verb, Noun, Noun, too long would sound like a description of events, Verb, Verb, Verb. Unless you are referring to the lack of an Oxford comma after shoots. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

10-13-2016, 08:49 AM	#39
lumberjim I can hear my ears Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 25,571	It's your eyebrows __________________ This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan

10-13-2016, 02:09 PM	#40
Gravdigr The Un-Tuckian Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: South Central...KY that is Posts: 39,517	"You're in Detroit for what?" "Work?!" "Please step out of the line, sir."[/rubberglovesnap] "Sir, what's with the eyebrows?" __________________ These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off.

10-10-2016, 07:50 AM	#34
captainhook455 Rapscallion Join Date: Aug 2016 Posts: 1,357	I look at my wife and say, honey your face makes time stand still, but what if I said, honey your face would stop a clock. It means the same thing, right? tarheel

10-12-2016, 08:15 PM	#38
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	I went to Canada today, and they flagged me for inspection. They (and American customs) seem to get weird when I explain that I'm in Detroit for work but actually from KC. "They say it's a lottery, and I never win anything, so whoopee!"--Lewis Black on airport security (which applies in this scenario as well)

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