Merry F'in Christmas - I want a divorce. - Page 29

lookout123 · 05-22-2006, 02:15 AM

i know. i just don't get how someone can make the choices she has, and do the deeds she's done and not feel guilt. remorse. sorrow.

i just don't understand how someone can take a 180 degree shift in priorities and personality so quickly.

i guess the problem is the same problem i've always had. i believe there is an answer for everything.

xoxoxoBruce · 05-23-2006, 09:22 PM

One wrong turn can lead the what she knows is the wrong way, with the right support group telling her she's doing the right thing. A support group that knows nothing except they want to be supportive. (girlfriends)

WabUfvot5 · 05-24-2006, 01:32 AM

Mental problems aren't logical. At all. Nor do they mean all the normal feelings / thought patterns are there.

DucksNuts · 05-24-2006, 04:14 AM

Bruce, you have girly support issues.

lookout123 · 05-24-2006, 09:33 AM

sadly enough what he said holds water in this case.

xoxoxoBruce · 05-25-2006, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DucksNuts

Bruce, you have girly support issues.

That's because I've seen so many of them make a bad situation a disaster.

lookout123 · 06-30-2006, 03:57 AM

the not quite ex used this week to fine tune her cruelty skills. she had a breakdown regarding her ability to be a good mothera few nights ago. at the time i went to her aid in the interest of my son who deserves to have a somewhat healthy mother.

the evening turned into a veiled "it can't work between us, can it?" session. she knows she still owns my heart, and i'm well aware of it. i used what restraint i possess but was truthful. i told her that i didn't know if anything could ever work between us at this point because of what has passed, but i do love her. i explained that in order to pursue that train of thought would require her to cut ties with some people and actually fess up to something that have been denied up to this point. she was receptive.

i was well aware that it wouldn't happen. i'm not delusional. my requirements for even starting down that path are pretty... aggressive.

even so, she was able to break what was left of my heart open on the rocks and smear the the pitiful remnants into a wonderful sign that simply read, "HAHA"

bitch. every foul name you can think of for a person. except i still love who she can be. the person she rejects.

whatever.

Undertoad · 06-30-2006, 07:35 AM

It sounds like she used the only control technique that she knows for sure is available to her.

yesman065 · 06-30-2006, 07:42 AM

Been there, and shes still doing that. Rather she's still trying to do that. Once the realization that their control; over us is diminishing, they step up their efforts to exert as much pain and turmoil as possible upon us. You are a few months behind me in this insanity, so keep a sharp eye on her "motives" as there is a reason for her actions. Many times my "soon to be ex" has suddenly become sweet as pie in an attempt to get something from me - either financially or help with the kids, house, whatever. Perhaps its just because they can't lose their control over us. I dunno? I do know this though, once I stopped responding, she got even more cruel and hurtful. Then the shit passes and I feel a little better. Thats it! I feel a little better every time I say - NO! I won't be your lapdog anymore. And its a wonderful thing.

wolf · 06-30-2006, 12:26 PM

Document this kind of thing. It may ultimately be of use to your attorney.

MaggieL · 06-30-2006, 02:28 PM

Obvuiously somebody needs a Benign Girl.

WabUfvot5 · 06-30-2006, 03:03 PM

women can be totally vicious when compelled. this may be her way at getting back for not getting everything she wanted (custody, $, everything).

06-30-2006, 11:11 PM

Its a personality type more than a gender thing, I think. I've gone through the same kind of nightmare with a man on the dishing out end. Yeah, they love the control factor and they love smashing our hearts and souls to smithereens. The best thing I ever did was to vanish into the sunset 400 miles away from my ex. He has no idea where I am and he'll never find out if I can help it. What a relief! I know vanishing isn't an option with lil' Lookout in the picture, but try to emotionally vanish. You'll be the better off for it, believe me.

lookout123 · 08-06-2006, 03:05 AM

wow. expecting to be able to sign divorce papers this week and begin to put this all behind me. now i hear through the grapevine that the not-quite-ex is pregnant.

ouch.

pass me a beer. and the one behind it.

Beestie · 08-06-2006, 03:23 AM

Is there no end to this madness?

You don't need a beer you need erasing.

Yikes.

05-23-2006, 09:22 PM	#422
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	One wrong turn can lead the what she knows is the wrong way, with the right support group telling her she's doing the right thing. A support group that knows nothing except they want to be supportive. (girlfriends) __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

05-24-2006, 09:33 AM	#425
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	sadly enough what he said holds water in this case. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

06-30-2006, 03:57 AM	#427
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	the not quite ex used this week to fine tune her cruelty skills. she had a breakdown regarding her ability to be a good mothera few nights ago. at the time i went to her aid in the interest of my son who deserves to have a somewhat healthy mother. the evening turned into a veiled "it can't work between us, can it?" session. she knows she still owns my heart, and i'm well aware of it. i used what restraint i possess but was truthful. i told her that i didn't know if anything could ever work between us at this point because of what has passed, but i do love her. i explained that in order to pursue that train of thought would require her to cut ties with some people and actually fess up to something that have been denied up to this point. she was receptive. i was well aware that it wouldn't happen. i'm not delusional. my requirements for even starting down that path are pretty... aggressive. even so, she was able to break what was left of my heart open on the rocks and smear the the pitiful remnants into a wonderful sign that simply read, "HAHA" bitch. every foul name you can think of for a person. except i still love who she can be. the person she rejects. whatever. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

06-30-2006, 12:26 PM	#430
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Document this kind of thing. It may ultimately be of use to your attorney. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

06-30-2006, 02:28 PM	#431
MaggieL in the Hour of Scampering Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Jeffersonville PA (15 mi NW of Philadelphia) Posts: 4,060	Obvuiously somebody needs a Benign Girl. __________________ "Neither can his Mind be thought to be in Tune,whose words do jarre; nor his reason In frame, whose sentence is preposterous..."

05-22-2006, 02:15 AM	#421
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	i know. i just don't get how someone can make the choices she has, and do the deeds she's done and not feel guilt. remorse. sorrow. i just don't understand how someone can take a 180 degree shift in priorities and personality so quickly. i guess the problem is the same problem i've always had. i believe there is an answer for everything.

05-24-2006, 01:32 AM	#423
WabUfvot5 Operations Operative Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 634	Mental problems aren't logical. At all. Nor do they mean all the normal feelings / thought patterns are there.

05-24-2006, 04:14 AM	#424
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Bruce, you have girly support issues.

06-30-2006, 07:35 AM	#428
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	It sounds like she used the only control technique that she knows for sure is available to her.

06-30-2006, 07:42 AM	#429
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	Been there, and shes still doing that. Rather she's still trying to do that. Once the realization that their control; over us is diminishing, they step up their efforts to exert as much pain and turmoil as possible upon us. You are a few months behind me in this insanity, so keep a sharp eye on her "motives" as there is a reason for her actions. Many times my "soon to be ex" has suddenly become sweet as pie in an attempt to get something from me - either financially or help with the kids, house, whatever. Perhaps its just because they can't lose their control over us. I dunno? I do know this though, once I stopped responding, she got even more cruel and hurtful. Then the shit passes and I feel a little better. Thats it! I feel a little better every time I say - NO! I won't be your lapdog anymore. And its a wonderful thing.

06-30-2006, 03:03 PM	#432
WabUfvot5 Operations Operative Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 634	women can be totally vicious when compelled. this may be her way at getting back for not getting everything she wanted (custody, $, everything).

06-30-2006, 11:11 PM	#433
marichiko Guest Posts: n/a	Its a personality type more than a gender thing, I think. I've gone through the same kind of nightmare with a man on the dishing out end. Yeah, they love the control factor and they love smashing our hearts and souls to smithereens. The best thing I ever did was to vanish into the sunset 400 miles away from my ex. He has no idea where I am and he'll never find out if I can help it. What a relief! I know vanishing isn't an option with lil' Lookout in the picture, but try to emotionally vanish. You'll be the better off for it, believe me.

08-06-2006, 03:05 AM	#434
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	wow. expecting to be able to sign divorce papers this week and begin to put this all behind me. now i hear through the grapevine that the not-quite-ex is pregnant. ouch. pass me a beer. and the one behind it. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

08-06-2006, 03:23 AM	#435
Beestie -◊\|≡·∙■·∙≡\|◊- Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Parts unknown. Posts: 4,081	Is there no end to this madness? You don't need a beer you need erasing. Yikes. __________________ ♠ ♥ ♣ ♦

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