Tasteless Jokes

[Rexmons]

Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are standing in divorce court awaiting the judge to begin deliberations when the judge says "Mickey, it says here you want to divorce Minnie because she acts silly. That doesn't sound like a very good reason to me, would you care to explain yourself?" At which point Mickey stands and says in his squeky voice "Your honor, I didn't say I want to divorce her because she acts silly, I said I wanted to divorce her because she's fucking Goofy!"

[fargon]

Why do cowboys have brown noses?


Look'in for love in all the wrong places.

[lumberjim]

Q. What's the difference between mayonnaise & semen?
A. Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at thirty miles an hour.

[lumberjim]

Q. What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?
A. Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

[elSicomoro]

Not an actual joke per se, but...

As I was out walking the other night, I thought about playing a practical joke on an Arab family that lives down the street from us.

I thought about taking their shoes and placing them directly in front of their door, sole side up.







(Let's see how many people get this, and how long it takes. )





(Yes...I know...I'm a sick fuck. )

[queequeger]

We did something similar to an instructor when I was in Arabic class, we all crossed our legs sole facing the door. When he walked in, we realized we'd forgotten he doesn't get 'humour' per se. He just yelled at us for an hour

[Spexxvet]

Ok, what's the meaning of Arabs seeing shoe soles?

[queequeger]

Well, it's more the bottom of your feet. They just see it as a big insult, as it's the dirtiest part of you. Common insult would be Qundirah Ibn Qundirah or something like it. "Shoe son of a shoe."

So if you ever meet an Arab (most get over this one after about a year and they realize we don't think of it as an insult) make it a point to keep both feet facing the floor.

[Rexmons]

It's really more of a manners / etiquette issue. If you were sitting with someone and crossed your legs, it's considered impolite to have the bottom of your shoe facing them. The act of the shoes by themselves being upside down facing them is really nothing.

[queequeger]

I guess that depends on country. I've known an arab to assign an insult to an up-facing shoe.

[Urbane Guerrilla]

Wait a second, people; remember all those Iraqis using the soles of their shoes to smack images of Saddam with? There's a reason they were using their shoes and a reason they were using the soles.

Arab streets have long been unclean places, and that's been true up until quite recently. While not showing shoe sole is a tradition, it is one with a serious material reason. It can be found in Islamic societies that are not by any stretch Arab; keep your soles to yourself in Turkey, too.

[Cicero]

Q:How do you spot a Jewish pedophile?



A: He's behind a bush asking kids if they would like to buy some candy.

Terrible...I know.

[Terminator_484]

Original Joke:
Маленький мальчик в песочке играл,
Тихо подъехал к нему самосвал.
Не было слышно ни крика, ни стона —
Только сандали торчат из бетона.


Translation to English:
A boy played in the sandbox with no one to mind him,
When quietly a mixing truck pulled up behind him.
He peeped not a peep, cried out nary a cry —
Just his sandals stuck out when the concrete was dry.

[Macfadyin]

Pavarotti is standing at the pearly gates.

St Peter opens them and says 'oh it's you Luciano, come on in, squeeze
through'.

Pavarotti says 'hold on, i've got an envelope for you, from the pope.'

St Peter opens it up and reads it.




'HERE'S THAT TENOR I OWE YOU'

[monster]