Once upon a time...

[lookout123]

Once there was a man who got on a bus in New York, bound for LA. He made himself comfortable in his seat, began to read his newspaper, and prepared his mind for the long journey.

About an hour later he realized that the bus hadn't left the station yet. He thought it was curious, and he was a little frustrated, but went back to reading his newspaper. One hour later they still hadn't begun their journey, so he approached the driver and asked what was causing the hold up. The bus driver responded, "Absolutely nothing is wrong, sir. I'm just waiting for all of the traffic lights between New York and LA to turn green at the same time so we can have a perfect trip with no interruptions."


Catwoman - maybe you are just stuck on the idea of the ideal being a possibility. You seem convinced that you are destined for greatness if only someone would show you what you are supposed to be great at. Maybe you aren't supposed to be well known for your greatness. Maybe you are supposed to go through life, do a good job(at a career that you mildly enjoy, but which is interchangeable with a hundred others), make one person smile each day, and make the little difference that helps someone else be great.

For myself, I think it would only be arrogance to think that I am destined for renown and greatness. For me, I believe everyone changes the world around them each and every day - the goal should be to change it in a positive way. Do you think Mother Theresa was born knowing that she would be well known for her compassionate servanthood? or is it possible that someone, who the world will never know about, said or did something that inspired her to follow that path? Do you believe that Thomas Eddison was born to build the lightbulb? or was there an anonymous someone who encouraged and cultivated his inquisitive nature as a child?

maybe you aren't supposed to be well known and respected for some work. maybe you are supposed to smile and make a kind comment to a person who needs a little encouragement to nudge them in the right direction.

[mrnoodle]

You can agree or not, but you'll choke on salt if you are looking for a religious subtext in all my posts.

Let me put it another way that is more sensitive to those who have been persecuted by Jesus and his followers. All religious references removed.

People who are desperate for attention
Paris Hilton
Howard Stern
Courtney Love
Michael Jackson
Rush Limbaugh
Michael Moore
Bill O'Reilly
Britney Spears

People who are remarkable, but unknown
The person who stopped on I-25 north of Denver during rush hour to change a flat tire for an elderly woman, after about 10,000 other commuters blew her off, flipped her off, honked, or maybe just kinda felt bad for a second. (lady thanked the samaritan in a letter to the editor. shit. I didn't mean to say samaritan, sorry.)

My grandmother (probably yours too, but maybe not)

All the rest of em. They're unknown, so how am I supposed to make a list? I'm sure everyone here has at least one example of someone who everyone admires and respects for their good, noble, and COMPLETELY UNMARKETABLE skills.

I'd list the known remarkable, selfless people, but the list is pretty heavily religious in nature, and I don't want to destroy my already crumbling credibility. (although the coincidence is remarkable, come to think of it)


point is (sorry for ramble), which list do you want to be in? There's not a whole lot of true happiness in the first one, I'd wager. Lots of searching for it, but not much finding.

[jaguar]

Maybe you are supposed to go through life, do a good job(at a career that you mildly enjoy, but which is interchangeable with a hundred others), make one person smile each day, and make the little difference that helps someone else be great.

Only one way to find out.

I don't remember where marketability came into it.

[mrnoodle]

remarketable. err.

just saying that those who do stuff for other people will be happier than those who do stuff just for themselves, but not to expect financial success, a TV show, a cure for cancer. Just contentment and shit like that. or so i've heard.

[glatt]

I'll have to agree with Mr. Noodle on that, but I don't think it's an aswer for long term happiness. I think when a person does a good deed, they feel good about themselves for a little while afterwards. Then it wears off. You have to keep doing good constantly to get that rush.

[lookout123]

well, if you are doing good things for the "rush" that you get, maybe the motivation for doing the deed is a little offkilter in the first place. maybe we should just do the good deed for the sake of helping another person, without regard to how it makes us feel.

[lookout123]

IIRC mr noodle is religious and therefore best taken with a grain of salt.

hey jag, since there was no smilie i have to assume that is a serious statement. that is pretty harsh. that is really no different than if i were to say that "jaguar is british/white/atheist/agnostic/short/tall/etc., so take what he says with a grain of salt".

i may not often agree with you jaguar, but i would be missing much if i discarded your thoughts with a grain of salt simply because i think one of the pillars in your personal philosophy was shaky at best. might the same be true of you?

[jaguar]

Fair call, I've had a shit of a week and I'm running on empty so I guess I'm more than a little bit bitchy right now. However (you were waiting for it), vagueness aside Christianity followed seriously tends to have a pretty fair bias on people's opinions on this stuff in a number of different ways, I think i was just looking for attitudinal roots. Call it a bad habit combined with a bad mood.

I think you're still missing the point. Being an astronaut or a rock star isn't about the fame, it's about kicking ass, being the best and knowing it. Internal, not external. Cat can confirm/deny this one but personally I find few things more scary or offputting than mediocrity, either i do something and am in the top X, .X, .0X percentile or I don't bother, it's both a curse and a blessing. I think Contessa might be the same.

[glatt]

I think the opinions expressed in this thread have a lot to do with the age of the people expressing them. When you are young and vibrant, you feel like you can conquer the world. As you age, you tend to mellow out, and I think you become more content. I'm 38 now, and I'm much happier than when I was 18 or even 28.

[lookout123]

glatt is onto something there. at 20 i was waiting for my shot to show everyone that i am the best in all things i chose to pursue. when i wasn't the best, i had a hard time dealing with it. i had different reactions to falling short of goals at different times.

i'm 30 at this point and still struggling with this one, but for the most part i only compete against myself these days. i always operate under the knowledge that no matter how good i am at something, there is always someone who can 1 up me. so, i can be miserable, or i can choose to do the best that i can possibly do and always strive to improve, without concern for what i can't control. what i cannot control are the things around me - including a competitor's performance.

what i have found is that i am usually near the top in performance, but i can still cheer on and be happy for those that beat me. i call this being content in who i am and what my abilities are.

i hope to learn to be more consistantly content as i age.

again, content does not equal complacent.

[jaguar]

Well I'm not really in a position to comment am I? I don't know, so far I seem to be very good at what I want to do and getting better, time will tell I guess.

[mrnoodle]

Originally Posted by jaguar

Being an astronaut or a rock star isn't about the fame, it's about kicking ass, being the best and knowing it. Internal, not external.

I think that's a line used to sell foul-smelling "sport" deodorant and Range Rovers. That said, you're right to a point. There's definitely personal satisfaction in being exceptional at anything. But the real payoff is when everyone else thinks you're cool too. And once you get a taste of that drug, it's all downhill. Not to mention, very short-lived.

Knowing that you've kicked ass is great. Feeling like you've achieved a pinnacle of any kind is sweet victory. But you can't base your life on chasing that sensation. Ask Kurt Cobain how fulfilled he was, despite fronting a new musical movement (bowel movement if you ask me, but he was influential) and selling out stadiums worldwide. His last thought, before it was atomized and painted on the wall, was more likely about how his life lacked the things that I talked about in the previous post than it was about the things you're talking about.

I'm out of pennies, that'll have to be my last $.02.

[warch]

Contessa needs a kick in the ass, a true life crisis to shock her into the here and now. She's hollow.
Or, she should hire a PR firm to craft her remarkably empty image campaign to be released upon her death.

She'll never have enough proof of her own worth. That's a shame.

[jaguar]

Ouch.

Re: I don't think that is the real payoff, not from my perspective anyway. It's the sense of self-worth that comes from knowing that shit, you're fucking good at what you do. We've all got egos, it's best they're based on something solid. It's your achievements and experiences that make you who you are.

[Catwoman]

Originally Posted by mrnoodle

Contessa might find that her life gains more meaning and that the unremarkable moments we experience are actually the richest and most fulfilling, if she would spend a little less time wallowing in narcisisstic fantasy and a little more time trying to make things remarkable for other people. She is unmistakably intelligent and talented, but until she directs those talents away from herself and towards others, she's unlikely to be satisfied with the result. Same applies to love. She's not likely to find a soulmate unless she's first willing to be a soulmate to another person.

Contessa, on an unremarkable Wednesday morning at her unremarkable job, finds some meaning in some words. It is true, she thinks, that I am more concerned with I than any other. Yet in an unfathomable paradox she sees that with her desire for recognition comes an inescapable awareness of others. She wants them to recognise, so she can help. She has the answers to many of their questions, though not yet her own. If only they would listen, she woes, and regrets that she does not use her skills to full effect. Contessa, though determined, lacks motivation, for she feels her efforts - ultimately, in the grand scheme of the universe - will not matter.

Originally Posted by jaguar

mr noodle is religious and therefore best taken with a grain of salt

makes her laugh in it's reflection of her way of thinking, then

Originally Posted by lookout123

Once there was a man who got on a bus in New York....he approached the driver and asked what was causing the hold up. The bus driver responded, "Absolutely nothing is wrong, sir. I'm just waiting for all of the traffic lights between New York and LA to turn green at the same time so we can have a perfect trip with no interruptions."

strikes a chord because it is true, and Contessa takes some comfort that she could be remarkable by helping just one person, one day at a time. But Contessa is notoriously impatient and intolerant, and when she sees a better more expedious way of doing things she simply cannot force herself to go the long way round, taking into account that

Originally Posted by glatt

when a person does a good deed, they feel good about themselves for a little while afterwards. Then it wears off.

It may take me 10 years to find the right path, she thinks, but at least then I won't get lost. Perfection is important to her like nothing else.

Originally Posted by glatt

When you are young and vibrant, you feel like you can conquer the world. As you age, you tend to mellow out

Contessa, despite her young years, knows this is true for most people. And somewhere, beneath her conditioning and desires, she can just glimpse this as her own future. But she is very aware that just because this passion is dulled in the most talented of people, she does not want hers to disappear in a vacuum of realism, out of concern that people will find her arrogant or unreasonable. She will not, she resolves, hide herself for fear of offending. If the world is conquerable - she thinks, in the most metaphorical terms - I know the woman for the job.

Originally Posted by jaguar

Being an astronaut or a rock star isn't about the fame, it's about kicking ass, being the best and knowing it. Internal, not external.

There's nothing quite like overcoming an obstacle - a tricky sequence on the guitar, communicating something important - and even more satisfying than this, is the awareness that with application and concentration, Contessa can 'kick ass' at nearly anything.

In sudden remembrance of how her words will be taken, Contessa adds to her monologue that not only is she capable of anything, so is everyone, and that they simply lack the vision or encouragement or awareness to know it.

Originally Posted by warch

Contessa needs a kick in the ass, a true life crisis to shock her into the here and now. She's hollow. Or, she should hire a PR firm to craft her remarkably empty image campaign to be released upon her death. She'll never have enough proof of her own worth. That's a shame.

At this Contessa pops out of her story, her stomach tight.

Originally Posted by Catwoman

That was well expressed. Blunt with no sympathy. I like it.

Is it true? 'Image campaign' - yes, that's what it is I suppose. 'Never enough proof of her own worth'... maybe; depends if I ever get my ass into gear. 'She's hollow' - that might be true, although I know it's not, ultimately, from the depth of feeling I have for people, especially those who suffer. I hope I don't need the usual 'life crisis' to spur me on, that would be hopelessly predictable.

Contessa returns slightly abated but frustrated that the core of her point is being missed. It is not for some meaningless image, fame for fame's sake or suppressed insecurity and desire for mass adoration. In fact the thought of this makes her uncomfortable. She doesn't want people to get it wrong, to think she's better than she is and put her on a pedestal. She aint no hollow rock star.

What Contessa wants most strongly in this world, and what she believes to be her purpose, is to be in a position where she is listened to, because she knows she gets it right. If there is anyone else who can do it as well, or better, she would rather it was them. This is not selfish desire for recognition, she realises, but frustration at the workings of a world run by fools. I know what to do! I could make the right decisions! So put ME in the position to do it and the world will breath an enormous sigh of relief.

All I want is rightness and truth. Whoever initiates it, all I want, is for things to be put right.