God Bless the Customers - Page 2

elSicomoro · 06-04-2002, 01:10 PM

Mike Mike Mike...I have great concern for you. You're only 17...you have so many more years to build up some righteous hatred.

We were required to wear name tags at CVS. Mine was supposed to be especially made since I was a manager, but the dumbfucks at corporate never got around to it. Soooo...

I would take a generic tag that we have for the regular employees, and I would create one for myself with the labelmaker.

Some might have known me as Bob, Rahsaan, Alejandro, or Abdul.

elSicomoro · 06-04-2002, 01:18 PM

They opened a Hastings in my college town (Cape Girardeau, MO) right before I moved back to St. Louis in late '95. Pretty decent...and it was nice to have a place that actually offered a selection.

06-04-2002, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by juju2112
I used to work at Hastings, which is a book/music/video/software chain in the south. Anyway, there was one customer who was angry over late fees he had accrued for an overdue movie.

Before he went to leave, he extended his hand to the manager in apology. When the manager shook his hand, he gripped it so the manager couldn't let go, and then started saying a bunch of shit in Latin. He then declared that the manager and everyone else at the store 'was now cursed', and that he hoped we got what we deserved.

You know, that's assault. At that point, he's crossed the line. I personally would have used my other hand to start slugging the shit out of his face. If you were questioned on it (and you would be), you would simply say that you feared for your life, and you thought next that he was going to pull out a gun and shoot you.

I would have beat that guy until he let go, either willingly or by losing consciousness. And then I would have beat him some more.

juju · 06-04-2002, 01:28 PM

Unfortunately, they'd probably fire anyone who did that. So instead, we waited until he left and then laughed our asses off.

Griff · 06-04-2002, 01:34 PM

The owner of the bike shop had a brother who made those name tags and personalized trophies and stuff, so he tried to get everyone labeled, very annoying, but we just traded them around and misplaced them until he gave up. you don't look like a Chrissy After a while, I noticed he would occasionally wear one so he could give some custumers the old My boss won't let me do that routine, when folks were unreasonable. For retail it wasn't a bad gig, we got a percentage of our sales and bike parts at cost, less, or free and occasional bonuses like the run down to Philly for the Interbike bender.

jeni · 06-04-2002, 01:43 PM

well, working with customers, i notice more than anything their rudeness. like when i'm sweeping the floor, and i'm turned the other way, and instead of politely saying "excuse me", they say "hey" or clear their throats. at which point i act like i didn't hear them and smile to myself where they can't see it.

also, this whole bread slicing thing...we got rid of our bread slicer a few months ago, and i have no idea how many people i've had to repeatedly tell "no, we don't have it back, and i don't know if we ever will...if we get it back, you will see it right there." and point to the place where the very obvious bread slicer used to be, and now there is a huge GAP. as if they couldn't tell it was gone by themselves, i have to tell the SAME PEOPLE numerous times that it will be there IF it comes back.

and then there was the woman last night who asked me if i could cut her fruit torte for her before she bought it. as in, cut it into equal portions. exxcuse me for a moment here, but HOW FUCKING LAZY CAN YOU BE? to have someone else cut a cake for you? lame.

and the kids. the kids and their cookies. oh. my. god. some of these children are so terribly rude...not only do they not say "excuse me", but they don't say "please" or "thank you" or even "may i"...maybe i could excuse this a little because they are children, but their parents really ought to teach them better manners. jesus. and the parents come over and say "yeah, can she get a cookie?" i feel like replying "maybe if you ask nicely."

elSicomoro · 06-04-2002, 01:44 PM

I had a drunk guy spit on me and try to hop the service desk counter when I worked for Venture (circa 1993). Thank God the off-duty cop was nearby.

elSicomoro · 06-04-2002, 01:59 PM

When I was at CVS, we used to have this goofy woman who would bring her kid in while she shopped. The kid would run around the store, throwing merchandise on the floor. Then, she would bring a bunch of shit up to the register, then say she had to get something else...and be gone for another 10 minutes, holding up my only cashier. Then, she would try to write a check, which would be denied, bitch about that for 5 minutes, then use a credit card (which would sometimes be denied as well).

I finally said something to her the week I left CVS. (Go figure.) She tried to hold up my register to which I told her we couldn't ring her up until she was ready to leave. Then I told her that I would call the police if her son damaged any merchandise, to which I got that "You asshole!" look.

06-04-2002, 02:07 PM

I used to cook at Pizza Hut. It wasn't exactly challenging, so I had to get creative to keep myself from being bored.

So one time, I get this tickets that has a family cheese breadsticks and a hand tossed medium pepperoni pizza. I'm like "w0rd", and I toss the breadsticks in. Then I pull out a hand tossed, stretch it out, perforate that mother fucker like it ain't no thang, toss on some sauce, half cheese, bottom cheese for the pepperoni side and then go to work with the pepperoni.

Well, regular pepperoni is boring and tedious, as my sister can tell you. So I'm like "man, I need to get a bit creative with this one." So I toss down half pepperoni, then run into the back, drop my shorts and pinch a nice loaf in the dishwashing water. I put on some plastic gloves, pull that thing out, rinse it off (wouldn't want the people eating soap), and then plop it right in the middle of the pepperoni section. It's looking pretty good, so I toss it in the oven.

Jenni apparently thought so too, 'cause she cut it when it came out. Nikki didn't complain either and took it over to the guy. Well, he gets pissed off that I shit in his pizza. Like, hello, I didn't shit in it. I shit in the sink and then placed the turd on the pizza. Like he didn't know it was just a joke anyway. He starts getting all pissy and asking if I want to take it outside. I'm like "Man, I've got more pizzas to make, but if you just want a quick golden shower, I can accomodate." So then he starts getting really mad and he pulls out this .357 Magnum revolver. Big fuckin' thing. And he points it right at my head and pulls the trigger. Well, being that I've seen Penn and Teller do this a thousand times, I just clamp my teeth down really fast and, voila, bullet caught. I spit it out into my hand and I'm like "are you happy now, you silly little fuckadoodle?" He's like "yeah, that was fun." So he goes back and eats his poopy pizza.

Anyway, I just thought I'd share that, because I think it illustrates how customers can be really rude, but you can turn their frown upside down with a little bit of kindness and some well placed magic tricks.

elSicomoro · 06-04-2002, 02:21 PM

*rofl* I thought that was real until the gun part.

juju · 06-04-2002, 02:25 PM

I'm employed by a locally owned pizza place right now, and i'd never let anyone do sick shit to people's food. Even if it meant losing my job, i'd have to stand against something like that.

Lots of people seem to not be that way, though. Also, since i've never been presented with such a situation, who knows how I might react.

06-04-2002, 02:45 PM

Seriously though, it's modeled after a real incident. I just felt like getting silly with it.

I really did get bored at Pizza Hut, and I really did need to do something to keep the boredom from killing me.

Occasionally I would make pizzas a little differently than how they were supposed to be made. On one occasion, I was quite bored and had nothing to do, and I got an order - medium hand tossed, half pepperoni. Instead of making two distinct halves - one pepperoni, one just cheese - I did quarters. Two quarters were cheese, and two were pepperoni. It just so happened that the like quarters were opposite each other - as in, clockwise from top right, pepperoni, cheese, pepperoni, cheese.

Jenni got a kick out of it. Josh, the waiter, thought it was cool too. He took it out to the table. Then he comes back and talks to me.

"Man, that fucking idiot out there is pissed off about your pizza."

"Yeah?," I say. "What'd he say?"

"He was like 'What's this? I ordered half pepperoni, half cheese. Maybe I need to go talk to that cook. Maybe we need to discuss this outside.'"

I just found this to be the most comically ridiculous thing. He got a half pepperoni, half cheese pizza. Moreover, it was fucking spectacularly laid out - exactly half and half. I took a gander out at him and there's this college age dude with a girl. Of course, it makes sense to me then - he's doing this to look macho in front of his woman. Which means he's really just a big fucking sissy.

I've never been in a fight where I didn't wallop the living fuck out of the other person, so... his choice. A big strong Pizza Hut cook versus some pimply faced assbite with an inferiority complex. I leave it up to you to decide who would win.

I tell Josh "Tell him that if he'd like to discuss it with me, it can certainly be arranged."

Needless to say, there was not another word from him.

MaggieL · 06-04-2002, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dhamsaic
He got a half pepperoni, half cheese pizza.

How dorkful of you. It wasn't his fault you were bored.

I'll never eat in a Pizza Slut again, after I was with a group that was served a pie with a used bandaid in it.

06-04-2002, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by MaggieL
How dorkful of you. It wasn't his fault you were bored.

Which is why he got what was ordered - a half cheese, half pepperoni pizza. It's neither here nor there how it was arranged - it's only relevant because, for some unknown reason, it "upset" him (aka, gave him an excuse to be macho in front of a woman). Half cheese half pepperoni is half cheese half pepperoni, no matter which way you slice it (pun not intended).

elSicomoro · 06-04-2002, 04:25 PM

Exactly. Granted, it may not have been Pizza Hut's specifications, but you gave him what he ordered, I'm sure it was fully cooked, you got a laugh out of it...no harm done.

06-04-2002, 01:34 PM	#20
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	The owner of the bike shop had a brother who made those name tags and personalized trophies and stuff, so he tried to get everyone labeled, very annoying, but we just traded them around and misplaced them until he gave up. you don't look like a Chrissy After a while, I noticed he would occasionally wear one so he could give some custumers the old My boss won't let me do that routine, when folks were unreasonable. For retail it wasn't a bad gig, we got a percentage of our sales and bike parts at cost, less, or free and occasional bonuses like the run down to Philly for the Interbike bender. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

06-04-2002, 01:10 PM	#16
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	Mike Mike Mike...I have great concern for you. You're only 17...you have so many more years to build up some righteous hatred. We were required to wear name tags at CVS. Mine was supposed to be especially made since I was a manager, but the dumbfucks at corporate never got around to it. Soooo... I would take a generic tag that we have for the regular employees, and I would create one for myself with the labelmaker. Some might have known me as Bob, Rahsaan, Alejandro, or Abdul.

06-04-2002, 01:18 PM	#17
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	They opened a Hastings in my college town (Cape Girardeau, MO) right before I moved back to St. Louis in late '95. Pretty decent...and it was nice to have a place that actually offered a selection.

06-04-2002, 01:28 PM	#19
juju no one of consequence Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Arkansas Posts: 2,839	Unfortunately, they'd probably fire anyone who did that. So instead, we waited until he left and then laughed our asses off.

06-04-2002, 01:43 PM	#21
jeni is stuck on altair-4 Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: santa cruz, california Posts: 514	well, working with customers, i notice more than anything their rudeness. like when i'm sweeping the floor, and i'm turned the other way, and instead of politely saying "excuse me", they say "hey" or clear their throats. at which point i act like i didn't hear them and smile to myself where they can't see it. also, this whole bread slicing thing...we got rid of our bread slicer a few months ago, and i have no idea how many people i've had to repeatedly tell "no, we don't have it back, and i don't know if we ever will...if we get it back, you will see it right there." and point to the place where the very obvious bread slicer used to be, and now there is a huge GAP. as if they couldn't tell it was gone by themselves, i have to tell the SAME PEOPLE numerous times that it will be there IF it comes back. and then there was the woman last night who asked me if i could cut her fruit torte for her before she bought it. as in, cut it into equal portions. exxcuse me for a moment here, but HOW FUCKING LAZY CAN YOU BE? to have someone else cut a cake for you? lame. and the kids. the kids and their cookies. oh. my. god. some of these children are so terribly rude...not only do they not say "excuse me", but they don't say "please" or "thank you" or even "may i"...maybe i could excuse this a little because they are children, but their parents really ought to teach them better manners. jesus. and the parents come over and say "yeah, can she get a cookie?" i feel like replying "maybe if you ask nicely."

06-04-2002, 01:44 PM	#22
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	I had a drunk guy spit on me and try to hop the service desk counter when I worked for Venture (circa 1993). Thank God the off-duty cop was nearby.

06-04-2002, 01:59 PM	#23
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	When I was at CVS, we used to have this goofy woman who would bring her kid in while she shopped. The kid would run around the store, throwing merchandise on the floor. Then, she would bring a bunch of shit up to the register, then say she had to get something else...and be gone for another 10 minutes, holding up my only cashier. Then, she would try to write a check, which would be denied, bitch about that for 5 minutes, then use a credit card (which would sometimes be denied as well). I finally said something to her the week I left CVS. (Go figure.) She tried to hold up my register to which I told her we couldn't ring her up until she was ready to leave. Then I told her that I would call the police if her son damaged any merchandise, to which I got that "You asshole!" look.

06-04-2002, 02:07 PM	#24
dave Guest Posts: n/a	I used to cook at Pizza Hut. It wasn't exactly challenging, so I had to get creative to keep myself from being bored. So one time, I get this tickets that has a family cheese breadsticks and a hand tossed medium pepperoni pizza. I'm like "w0rd", and I toss the breadsticks in. Then I pull out a hand tossed, stretch it out, perforate that mother fucker like it ain't no thang, toss on some sauce, half cheese, bottom cheese for the pepperoni side and then go to work with the pepperoni. Well, regular pepperoni is boring and tedious, as my sister can tell you. So I'm like "man, I need to get a bit creative with this one." So I toss down half pepperoni, then run into the back, drop my shorts and pinch a nice loaf in the dishwashing water. I put on some plastic gloves, pull that thing out, rinse it off (wouldn't want the people eating soap), and then plop it right in the middle of the pepperoni section. It's looking pretty good, so I toss it in the oven. Jenni apparently thought so too, 'cause she cut it when it came out. Nikki didn't complain either and took it over to the guy. Well, he gets pissed off that I shit in his pizza. Like, hello, I didn't shit in it. I shit in the sink and then placed the turd on the pizza. Like he didn't know it was just a joke anyway. He starts getting all pissy and asking if I want to take it outside. I'm like "Man, I've got more pizzas to make, but if you just want a quick golden shower, I can accomodate." So then he starts getting really mad and he pulls out this .357 Magnum revolver. Big fuckin' thing. And he points it right at my head and pulls the trigger. Well, being that I've seen Penn and Teller do this a thousand times, I just clamp my teeth down really fast and, voila, bullet caught. I spit it out into my hand and I'm like "are you happy now, you silly little fuckadoodle?" He's like "yeah, that was fun." So he goes back and eats his poopy pizza. Anyway, I just thought I'd share that, because I think it illustrates how customers can be really rude, but you can turn their frown upside down with a little bit of kindness and some well placed magic tricks.

06-04-2002, 02:21 PM	#25
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	rofl I thought that was real until the gun part.

06-04-2002, 02:25 PM	#26
juju no one of consequence Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Arkansas Posts: 2,839	I'm employed by a locally owned pizza place right now, and i'd never let anyone do sick shit to people's food. Even if it meant losing my job, i'd have to stand against something like that. Lots of people seem to not be that way, though. Also, since i've never been presented with such a situation, who knows how I might react.

06-04-2002, 02:45 PM	#27
dave Guest Posts: n/a	Seriously though, it's modeled after a real incident. I just felt like getting silly with it. I really did get bored at Pizza Hut, and I really did need to do something to keep the boredom from killing me. Occasionally I would make pizzas a little differently than how they were supposed to be made. On one occasion, I was quite bored and had nothing to do, and I got an order - medium hand tossed, half pepperoni. Instead of making two distinct halves - one pepperoni, one just cheese - I did quarters. Two quarters were cheese, and two were pepperoni. It just so happened that the like quarters were opposite each other - as in, clockwise from top right, pepperoni, cheese, pepperoni, cheese. Jenni got a kick out of it. Josh, the waiter, thought it was cool too. He took it out to the table. Then he comes back and talks to me. "Man, that fucking idiot out there is pissed off about your pizza." "Yeah?," I say. "What'd he say?" "He was like 'What's this? I ordered half pepperoni, half cheese. Maybe I need to go talk to that cook. Maybe we need to discuss this outside.'" I just found this to be the most comically ridiculous thing. He got a half pepperoni, half cheese pizza. Moreover, it was fucking spectacularly laid out - exactly half and half. I took a gander out at him and there's this college age dude with a girl. Of course, it makes sense to me then - he's doing this to look macho in front of his woman. Which means he's really just a big fucking sissy. I've never been in a fight where I didn't wallop the living fuck out of the other person, so... his choice. A big strong Pizza Hut cook versus some pimply faced assbite with an inferiority complex. I leave it up to you to decide who would win. I tell Josh "Tell him that if he'd like to discuss it with me, it can certainly be arranged." Needless to say, there was not another word from him.

06-04-2002, 04:25 PM	#30
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	Exactly. Granted, it may not have been Pizza Hut's specifications, but you gave him what he ordered, I'm sure it was fully cooked, you got a laugh out of it...no harm done.

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