You might be a hillbilly if...

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by jimhelm

livestock alone does not the HilBilly make.

Originally Posted by Griff

...you have 4 hens and 10 chicks in the house and a baited weasel trap out in the coop.

"in the house" just might be the tipping point.



Oh, and, fuck weasels.

[Griff]

So when I put the hens in the house I freed the rooster who was with them so he wouldn't be alone. He and another rooster killed each other.

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by Griff

So when I put the hens in the house I freed the rooster who was with them so he wouldn't be alone. He and another rooster killed each other.

In the house???

No shit?...

[Gravdigr]

I'm sorry...but that's funny.

[Griff]

Nah, they were outside. Lots of blood.

[Gravdigr]

Well, that takes some of the humor out of the situation.

Some, but, not all.

I really wanted to visualize a feathers-flying, full-on cock fight inside the confines of Grifftopia.

[Gravdigr]

Sooo...you, the family, the hens...what'd y'all do to pass the time?

Watch TV? Poker? Have a wake for the roosters?

[Griff]

I'm building a door. Later it will be Game of Thrones via Netflix, which is sure to make for some uncomfortable moments what with teenage daughters... maybe make some Cornell bbq just to keep the hens focused.

[jimhelm]

Sorry about your cocks griff. That blows.

*cough*

[infinite monkey]

I love that Griff has Wild Kingdom going on in and around his house!

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by Gravdigr

Well, that takes some of the humor out of the situation.

Some, but, not all.

I really wanted to visualize a feathers-flying, full-on cock fight inside the confines of Grifftopia.

Oh yeah. Then wait until Pete comes home and lie motionless, face down amidst the blood and gore.

Good times, good times.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by jimhelm

Sorry about your cocks griff. That blows.

*cough*

Two beer penalty, your cooler.

[BigV]

Originally Posted by Griff

So when I put the hens in the house I freed the rooster who was with them so he wouldn't be alone. He and another rooster killed each other.

THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!!

Here's why:

Jake Thackray – The Bantam Cock

It was a grand upstanding bantam cock,
So brisk and stiff and spry,
With springy step and jaunty plume
And a purposeful look in his eye,
In his little black blinking eye, he had.

I took him to the coop and introduced him
To my seventeen wide-eyed hens.
He tupped and he tupped as a hero tups
And he bowed from the waist to them all, and then
He upped and he tupped 'em all again, he did.

And then upon the peace of me ducks and me geese
He rudely did intrude.
With glazed eyes and open mouths
They bore it all with fortitude
And a little bit of gratitude, they did.

He jumped my giggling guinea fowl
And forced his attentions upon
My twenty hysterical turkeys and
A visiting migrant swan.
But the bantam thundered on, he did.

He ravished my fan-tailed pigeons and
Me lily-white columbines,
And while I was locking up the budgerigar
He jumped my parrot from behind;
She was sitting on me shoulder at the time.

And all of a sudden with a gasp and a gulp
He clapped his hands to his head,
Fell flat on his back with his toes in the air.
My bantam cock lay dead
And the vultures circled overhead, they did.

What a champion brute; what a noble cock;
What a way to live and to die.
I was diggin' him a grave to save his bones
From the hungry buzzards in the sky
When the bantam opened up a sly little eye.

He gave me a grin and a terrible wink,
The way that rapists do.
He said, 'You see them big daft buggers up there?
They'll be down in a minute or two;
They'll be down in a minute or two.'

[toranokaze]

Originally Posted by Gravdigr

Oh, and, fuck weasels.

Well if you are fucking weasels that absolutely gets you into the hillbilly club.

[IamSam]

What about a mountain girl with too many bills who clubs prairie dogs?