WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? (longish rant)

[sexobon]

From now on, wear latex or vinyl disposable gloves when you're cleaning your firearms and putting them away. The next time she touches them, only her fingerprints will be left behind which opens the door to several possibilities.

[BigV]

Fuck.

Been there, had that done to me. Very ugly, very expensive, very destructive. Was *completely* about her, nothing about me. 100% fucked up. No upside. Unless you learn from my experience.

[xoxoxoBruce]

I can overnight a Colt AR-15 Sporter 762 x 39.

[DanaC]

Yeah, thinking about it, it does sound like she's being sneaky there Foots. Lawyer up and make notes. What day did she say xyz, what day did she take xyz, anything that could be used against you in a custody battle needs marking down now.

If she tries to pull something you have a record of your suspicions in time and how her actions stack up.

[footfootfoot]

I will talk to a lawyer.
She doesn't wear any cosmetics, so throwing that out can't happen.
She has never been the sneaky, Machiavellian type but she may be getting coaching from others.

Even if it were to go to court re: my depression history every single therapist I've ever seen since I was first diagnosed will have in their records that I've never ever had suicidal ideations.

Knowing her and her background this is a bid for attention. She does things to elicit strong reactions. Silence has always threatened her. I really don't think she has the ability to put a set-up together. She has zero organizational skills and is a reactive person.

This is a near perfect description of her: (bolds mine)

Borderline personality disorder

Personality disorder - borderline
Last reviewed: November 15, 2010.
Borderline personality disorder is a condition in which people have long-term patterns of unstable or turbulent emotions, such as feelings about themselves and others.
These inner experiences often cause them to take impulsive actions and have chaotic relationships.

Causes, incidence, and risk factors
The causes of borderline personality disorder (BPD) are unknown. Genetic, family, and social factors are thought to play roles.

Risk factors for BPD include:

Abandonment in childhood or adolescence
Disrupted family life
Poor communication in the family
Sexual abuse

This personality disorder tends to occur more often in women and among hospitalized psychiatric patients.

Symptoms

People with BPD are often uncertain about their identity. As a result, their interests and values may change rapidly.

People with BPD also tend to see things in terms of extremes, such as either all good or all bad. Their views of other people may change quickly. A person who is looked up to one day may be looked down on the next day. These suddenly shifting feelings often lead to intense and unstable relationships.

Other symptoms of BPD include:
Fear of being abandoned
Feelings of emptiness and boredom
Frequent displays of inappropriate anger
Impulsiveness with money, substance abuse, sexual relationships, binge eating, or shoplifting
Intolerance of being alone
Repeated crises and acts of self-injury, such as wrist cutting (in the past) or overdosing

Signs and tests
Like other personality disorders, BPD is diagnosed based on a psychological evaluation and the history and severity of the symptoms.

Treatment
Many types of individual talk therapy, such as dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT), can successfully treat BPD. In addition, group therapy can help change self-destructive behaviors.
In some cases, medications can help level mood swings and treat depression or other disorders that may occur with this condition.

Expectations (prognosis)
The outlook depends on how severe the condition is and whether the person is willing to accept help. With long-term talk therapy, the person will often gradually improve.

Complications
Depression (she denies it)
Drug abuse
Problems with work, family, and social relationships
Suicide attempts and actual suicide (when younger)

Calling your health care provider

Call your health care provider if you or your child has symptoms of borderline personality disorder. It is especially important to seek help right away if you or your child is having thoughts of suicide.

I'm ready to lawyer up as a precaution. We see the joint counselor next week, I believe. She just signed the papers allowing our counselors to interact. I would love to be a fly on the wall for that convo. I'm sure my therapist will tell me the upshot.

jeeze.

[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

I can overnight a Colt AR-15 Sporter 762 x 39.

:snicker:

[Gravdigr]

Originally Posted by orthodoc

...I'm with Grav...

Originally Posted by ZenGum

...The(n) do what Grav said...

Two, TWO!, Dwellars agreeing with me?

Might I suggest you two either put down the bong, or seek medical/psychiatric attention/MRI/catscan?

Stat!

[orthodoc]

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

I'm ready to lawyer up as a precaution. We see the joint counselor next week, I believe. She just signed the papers allowing our counselors to interact. I would love to be a fly on the wall for that convo. I'm sure my therapist will tell me the upshot.

jeeze.

Does she have a formal diagnosis of borderline personality disorder? Or do you simply see those traits as strong components of her ways of interacting and handling things? Either way, be prepared for lots of drama. The relative I mentioned before has removed herself to women's shelters repeatedly over the years claiming that she's at risk of imminent harm, which has never been borne out. She has never succeeded in getting a PFA order, but she has had her husband marched out of his office in handcuffs by military police and put in holding barracks while they sorted out her claims. He would be released once it became clear that my relative had nothing to substantiate her initial claims (she would renege once pressed for details), but it was horrid all round.

Then, a day later, she would be posting on facebook about her wonderful husband (who was now 'all good' rather than the 'all bad' villain he'd been 24 hours prior. So. Just saying, lots of possibility for unpleasant drama and you may want to get a lawyer up to speed so the legal drama doesn't blindside you. Even if she's not deliberately setting you up as part of a longer-term plan (and don't discount that), the short-term drama can be devastating.

Hang in there.

@grav ... I'm under medical care, believe me! Or do you think it's chemo-brain?
You should have more confidence in yourself ...

[footfootfoot]

Thanks. The diagnosis is mine. She is able to paint a different face to the outside world.
(gone girl)

I'l lawyering up asap, in any case.

[orthodoc]

I haven't read Gone Girl, but the whole being able to present a very different face to the world, a put-together, believable face, is very typical of the diagnosis. That's how my relative would manage to get her husband hauled off in shackles time after time. Only when someone really pinned down her story detail by detail would it fall apart. But she's very high-functioning and believable when putting her best foot forward, so to speak.

Sounds like I should read Gone Girl.

[BigV]

It's frightening.

[classicman]

I got nothing but cliches & well wishes for ya. Hang in there... It gets better ...
blah blah blah... Seriously. keep your head about you and start playing chess - you gotta be at least a couple moves ahead of what she MAY be doing, just in case. The lawyer is a good start, but remember - The longer a lawyer can drag this out, the more THEY make.