The kind of love you never recover from

[Shawnee123]

I don't believe in "THE" one. I think there are several, but they're scattered all about and you may or may not run into one of them. I also think people settle, way too often.

[Queen of the Ryche]

agreed X 2.

[anonymous]

Thanks for the thoughtful replies. Here is the song I am referencing.

Christine Lavin
"The Kind Of Love You Never Recover From"
I know a couple; she sits in a rocking chair
Working puzzles; he watches TV upstairs.
She's got a secret she has never let out;
A man she thinks he never knew about.
She hasn't seen him in thirty years.
The mention of his name doesn't bring on tears.
If you ask her, "Are there any regrets?"
She'll tell you, "No," but she never forgets.
It was the kind of love you never recover from.
Even though she found another one
To take his place,
She never will escape the truth.
At times like this when the moon is right,
When the air is foggy like it is tonight,
She'll think about what might have been
If she had just held on to him.
I know a man who has done it all;
He has sailed the oceans; climbed the mountains of Nepal.
He lives high upon the avenue
With a beautiful wife, lovely children, too.
But there's a woman he still dreams about;
Certain things he has learned to live without.
If you ask him, "Are there any regrets?"
He'll tell you, "No," but he never forgets.
It was the kind of love you never recover from.
Even though he found another one
To take her place,
He never will escape the truth.
At times like this when the moon is right,
When the air is foggy like it is tonight,
He'll think about what might have been
If he had not let her slip away from him.
I read about a woman who said she never regretted anything she'd ever done.
Such arrogant words always seem to be spoken by those who then die young.
So here am I looking at you.
Oh, tell me, what are we gonna do?
Am I destined to be your regret?
Are you that one I'll never forget?
Years from now, will we curse the day
You let me let you walk away?
Isn't this too dear a price to pay
For the freedom of going separate ways?
This is the kind of love you never recover from.
Don't tell me that I'm gonna find another one
To take your place,
I never will escape the truth.
At times like this when the moon is right,
When the air is foggy like it is tonight,
I'll think how sweet life could be
If you would stay with me, oh stay with me.
This is the kind of love you never recover from.
Don't tell me that I'm gonna find another one
To take your place,
And try to face the truth.
Let me hold you close tonight.
The fog has lifted, the moon is so bright.
Think how sweet life could be
If you would stay with me, oh, stay with me.
This is the kind of love you never recover from.
This is the kind of love you never recover from

I have a few I'll never forget. Each one is not the end, and I am grateful to have known so many who imprinted on my heart the way they have. From the boy I never confessed my feelings to, to the man I have children with, they all three in some unique way were "The One".

I hope that the next "The One" I meet, if I'm lucky enough to meet another, is the one I spend the rest of my days with.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by DanaC

Realizing it really is ok to be who you are and not conform to society's ideas of how your life should go helps enormously.

Yes it does, at least for me. Of course there is always the danger of rationalizing one's situation rather than changing it for the better. Reality checks are crucial.

[skysidhe]

Sometimes there isn't anything to add. For me I just feel some vauge internal agreement with alot of your replies.

[capnhowdy]

"You don't know about lonely..... till it's chiseled in stone."

[Elspode]

Originally Posted by lumberjim

life, in a sense, is a constant series of losses

each time we make a decision, we lose the other choices we could have made. you chose a path that led you away from that love. all that time, though...you knew that you could....if it became clear that it was the wrong decision, have undone it, and at least tried to get back to that place. now she's gone, and you never can.

just remember, at times like these especially, that every day presents more choices and options.

You know, when you are all wise and profound and shit, it really screws up my worldview. Stop it.

Several years ago, a late night web surfing episode revealed to me that the woman I had dated pretty seriously prior to meeting Selene had died of ovarian cancer. I hadn't even known she was sick, and it was like a complete kick in the face. She was such an excellent woman, and she was utterly smitten with me - she spoiled the shit out of me, always giving me gifts and fawning over me (things that actually made me uncomfortable, BTW). But, much though I liked her, enjoyed her company, admired her amazing musical talent - there was no real fire there, and so I broke it off with her rather than lead her on thinking we were going to be "it".

I have often wondered what my life would have been like if I'd stayed with her, and I will always regret that her illness and demise went without any sort of acknowledgement from me. Although I didn't have the really deep, gut wrenching love one seeks to have with a partner, I did love her. She was one of the best women I've ever been privileged to know. It was *me* that sucked.