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Parenting Bringing up the shorties so they aren't completely messed up

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Old 07-31-2008, 06:03 AM   #16
DanaC
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Lookout, you must be so fucking proud of your little boy right now. What a smashing kid. The way you describe him and his responses (the measured logical way he discusses it) doesn't half remind me of my brother when we were kids.

Sounds to me like you handled it really well. Draw his attention and explore it without making it a major issue. lovely.
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Old 07-31-2008, 07:50 AM   #17
Shawnee123
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What a great kid. Seriously good darn kid!

I'm so proud of my first cousin once removed
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Old 07-31-2008, 08:01 AM   #18
Griff
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Lil' Lookout did the right thing given the information he had. The teacher's response was backwards, although the child with autism probably needed the time off after the abuse. If the bully has a diagnosis, he also has a behavior management plan. Nothing in your description suggests a plan was being followed, although you wouldn't be privey to that and the kids may not see it. The bully hid his aggression within the context of a game the teacher may not have been able to interpret. Lil' Lookout did the same, I think his sense of justice is well refined for his age. I can see Judge Lookout instructing a jury.

I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the idea of trusting authority despite strong evidence of incompetence. That gives the bully the idea that as long as authority is out of sight the flock is his. He is being trained to be sly. It reminds me of my little brother taking a bully apart in elementary school while the playground aides carefully looked the other way.
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Old 07-31-2008, 08:41 AM   #19
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Quote:
Originally Posted by monster View Post
Just worth considering where the kid learned the word "retard" from....
That and much worse is all over the TV and the radio.
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Old 07-31-2008, 11:23 AM   #20
monster
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Quote:
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That and much worse is all over the TV and the radio.
I guess so, I don't watch TV and neither do my kids. It certainly isn't all over the TV in the UK anymore (or at least wasn't when i left), so I forget.

...and I was only "playing devil's advocate" I think LL did great and the teacher did not. But I always try to look at the most extreme possibilities to get a full perspective. Didn't mean to cast a slur on your summer school or LL's program, L123, but most of the kids i know with "issues" end up in some form of summer school or other -not necessarily ones for trouble-makers- either because their parents want to believe it will all be resolved if they get a little extra, or because their parents can't handle them..... sucks for the kids who are there for all the right reasons
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Old 07-31-2008, 11:35 AM   #21
lookout123
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no insult taken Monster, i fully understand the connotation of "summer school", i was just explaining that the intent of this program is a bit different. it is an alternative to having babysitters send the kids outside all summer long. LL is there because the kid really does best when he has the challenge of something new to learn in front of him. unfortunately for him he has inherited the easily bored trait from both parents. he's a good boy, but if he was home all summer he'd be the kid to dismantle the computer or tv just to see what was inside before going out back to see the effect of pouring jello packs into the saltwater pool. love him but want to strangle him an awful lot of the time.

oh, and BTW, thanks for taking the "dilemma" seriously all. I really struggle with things like this because I have a hard time teaching my son respect for authority when I have none myself. I'm a fine upstanding citizen who hates cops, lawyers, judges, politicians, etc. Yep, I'm that prick. While I want my son to have a healthy distrust of them I need him to learn a bit more respect for them than I have personally.
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Old 07-31-2008, 01:40 PM   #22
Pie
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"I will accept any rules that you feel necessary to your freedom. I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." - RAH

Oh, and I love your kid, l123. I wish I had known more people like him when I was that age.
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Old 07-31-2008, 04:11 PM   #23
lookout123
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Thanks guys. He picks up the good stuff from watching movies I guess.
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Old 07-31-2008, 04:34 PM   #24
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He picks up the good stuff from watching movies and also watching his dad.
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Old 07-31-2008, 05:46 PM   #25
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Thing is Lookout, it depends how you want your son to grow up.
I was taught to have far too much respect for authority, that any show of public displeasure was rude and that I must always put other people first. If I had been in the same situation as Lil Lookout I would have been severely punished for being spiteful, bad tempered and aggressive, regardless of provocation.

Consequently I hate any conflict, will bend over backwards to avoid confrontation and often bear a grudge because of it. I stand up for what I believe in, but rarely stand up for myself.

I don't believe what he did was right (it's just my opinion) but I do believe you handled it the right way for the son you are bringing up. He knows that he can be honest with you. He knows that his judgement is valued and that he will get a fair hearing. He knows you listen. I fully expect that he will grow up confident and capable of taking action when he feels it is necessary. And that is something to be proud of.
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Old 08-01-2008, 06:54 AM   #26
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Lil Lookout for President!

I love the lad. As well as initial caring for the autistic kid, he is brave and has a strong sense of justice without being a bully himself. That is worth GOLD. He's done this sort of thing before - protecting the vulnerable from bullies. Only the previous time he ran in with a shoulder charge on a substantially bigger boy - I love this much more refined method. Very nice (and safer in several ways). And he used proportional responses: words for words, force for force.

Lookout, I think you handled it excellently - not actually encouraging violence, but also not over-riding his sense of doing the right thing. There are indeed times when the morally right thing to do is to break a rule and cop the penalty. So be it. If he has learned that at his young age, I call that fine parenting.

Why do I feel this way? In my high school there was a program with about a dozen kids with various learning difficulties. One girl caught the same bus as me and a few juvenile %$#&-heads used to tease her, sometimes to the point of tears. I hated them for it - it upset me to hear how upset she got - but I never had the courage to go and confront them. They were public buses, not school buses, so the driver didn't really care. I wished then, and still wish now, that I had had the guts to do something like what LL just did.
LL rocks.
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Old 08-02-2008, 06:54 PM   #27
footfootfoot
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my take on this matter, inall seriousness, is that what everyone has posted so far is true, more or less in the cool headed distance offered by time and the internet.

I hope you tell LL something to the effect of "let the punishment fit the crime" in other words, he should have put the ball in the kid's gut rather than his face.
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Old 08-04-2008, 11:20 PM   #28
Kingswood
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Griff View Post
I can see Judge Lookout instructing a jury.
I was thinking the same thing.
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Old 08-05-2008, 09:08 AM   #29
skysidhe
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The schools need more LL's.

One or two...no three for every classroom.
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Old 08-05-2008, 10:16 AM   #30
lookout123
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Ah, you only say that because I rarely post about the days like today where it takes every ounce of willpower to keep from strangling him.
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