Holy crap I got raped

[freshnesschronic]

I was riding my bike back from class 30 minutes ago and unexpectedly I got a restricted cell fone call.
Hmmmm. Who is this?
I pick it up, and it's this lady from ESPN, calling about the internship I applied for about a statistics job.
She raped me.
Very bad.
She told me I had a typo on my cover letter/resume. She said she didn't want to disqualify it just based on that, but the job requires attention to detail. The typo was her name.

OWNED.
I told her I'm very sorry, and she said it's important to get the name right of who you're contacting (I'M A FREAKIN' IDIOT). Which it definitely is. (AND I DEFINITELY AM)

Then she said I had no sports experience (which I don't so far, I'm trying to get my foot in the door! ) and I said, "Yes, sorry not yet" and then she asked if I had knowledge.
Now I think (thought!) I had knowledge. But I don't. I don't. I don't know shit.
Then she asked, "oh you do? So you could tell me how to calculate the ERA average?" And I was like "yeah! (white lie for confidence!)"
Then she was like, "ok, what is it?"

OWNED.

I was like "um (10 seconds) I can't think of it, offhand" (WHAT A FREAIN' NOOB FRESH)

Then she asked me the last five heisman winners.

OWNED.
I said "Reggie Bush?"

Then she said who the last five pennant winners.
I named White Sox, Bosox, and Marlins. I couldn't even name the goddamn Cards from last year.

She then said with scorn, "well can you at least name two players on the Lakers, other than Kobe?"
Yay! My time to shine!
I told her Lamar Odom, Kwame Brown, Chris Mihm, but she didn't care.

She asked what sports do I know more about, I told her pro basketball and football. In recollection, those two are actually the sports I'm almost exclusive too, sadly.

She told me based off this fone rapage I'm not qualified and she's looking for a well rounded individual.

It was embarassing, humiliating and very, very humbling. A chance at ESPN would be golden! I'm a frickin' n00b. But I guess this is the first of many ownage/rapage experiences in a future career.
In hindsight, I shouldn't have lied about the ERA calculating.

But at least it showed me--hey fresh, you're not the shit. Do your homework. That's what I'm gonna do.