Kids and the Internet

[Ibby]

rkzenrage, I knew you werent saying that. I was describing Merc's scenario, not yours, to point out that you dont agree with him.

Cool, and I am saying you are inmature teen who has never known the responsiblity of parenthood and never has even paid your own damm bills long enough to know what the term "responsibility" means. Now go get a job.

Ad hominem, ad hominem, ad hominem... yawn.
You have yet to respond to my arguments once.

You fail.

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Ibram

rkzenrage, I knew you werent saying that. I was describing Merc's scenario, not yours, to point out that you dont agree with him.



Ad hominem, ad hominem, ad hominem... yawn.
You have yet to respond to my arguments once.

You fail.

You fail because you have no experience. If I fail it is because I fail trying.

Originally Posted by Ibram

rkzenrage, I knew you werent saying that. I was describing Merc's scenario, not yours, to point out that you dont agree with him.

Ok... can you respond to my post now? This does seem to be a peeve of yours.

[Cloud]

um, so um . . .

how old should a child to get his/her own email address?

on second thought--

nevermind!

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Cloud

um, so um . . .

how old should a child to get his/her own email address?

on second thought--

nevermind!

Well according to the teens on here, it sounds like 10 years old and unsupervised would be Ok with them.

[BigV]

Originally Posted by Cloud

um, so um . . .

how old should a child to get his/her own email address?

on second thought--

nevermind!

Hi Cloud!

I'm deliberately ignoring the shouting match over there... They have a good question, but I don't feel like getting into a fight right now.

But I do have some thoughts and suggestions for your question. How old? Well, there is no hard/fast rule of course. It's like all other child development milestones. I know that's no answer for you, so try this.

Get the email address. Get it with some name that they'll like, but which has no real bearing on their identity in real life. But consider the email address *your* email address, that they get to *use*. Do the youngsters live with you? Do you have physical control over their access to the email account? That would greatly simplify things.

Assuming you do have such control, I would explain to the child what an email address is, what it's used for, what it's *not* used for, and especially that I would be sharing it with them. Help them understand that you'll be able to see all the messages, in and out, and that you're letting them practice, helping them learn how to use it. The nice thing about a free email address is that it can be considered disposable, like a diaper. If it gets covered in crap, toss it. Until then it can be quite serviceable and cheap.

I haven't really answered your question about age, though, I know. I think early exposure to the technology is a good thing. But it must be done responsibly, and that's the reason for the little lecture above. It really isn't an age thing. If they're sufficiently mature to drive a computer, and make phone calls, then email is a reasonable expansion/combination of those two aspects of modern life. A youngster today will have far more such interactions than you or I will, and early exposure can lead to early fluency and early mastery.

I read somewhere that there are two classes of internet citizens, immigrants and natives. I am an immigrant. I come from the old country of bound books and pencil and paper arithmetic. Hand penned letters and busy signals on telephones. I've made my way to the digital shore and I'm flourishing here. I love this new country, and although I still have fond memories and some of the habits of the old country, there is no going back.

The kids in your life and in mine, however, are natives. They were born digital. Their future is digital. My acceptance of that fact helps me do a better job at understanding the world they'll inhabit as they grow. Denying that fact does a disservice to both parties. As a parent, as a responsible adult model for all the young people who are observing me and taking notes, I strive to engage these new technologies, not shun them.

As I help them learn (and learn myself) I'm acutely aware that mistakes will be made. I'm not afraid of mistakes, and a good thing, since they're so common and unavoidable to boot. But I am aware that my response to the mistakes is more important, and that's what I want to convey to the kid when teaching them about email. I agree that the stakes are higher now than when I was a kid. I had to worry about prank calls (or worry about getting caught making prank calls). Now there's cyber bullying, stalking, identity theft, child porn and online predators. Now that I think about it, maybe we should just chuck all these damn computers into the sea... maybe not. But that's all the more reason to *teach* them about how to use it.

And my teaching style is hands on. Try it. Use it. Ask about it. Ask them about it. Make mistakes. Correct the mistakes. But I don't believe I can protect them adequately indefinitely. Better they should learn how to keep themselves safe. You taught them how to cross the street safely, didn't you? And the stakes are certainly high with little kids in traffic... Same thing here. Hold their hand. Stop look and listen. Cross safely. Welcome to the digital shore.

[zippyt]

So there its settled , you both fail , !!!!!!

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by zippyt

So there its settled , you both fail , !!!!!!

No, age and treachery trumps youth.

[Ibby]

Still more ad hominem?

When is it going to get through to you that even though I dont have kids, I know the effect of authoritarian dictatorship in the household?

You are saying your experience automatically makes you right. I'm saying logic says you are wrong.

Who's making more sense here?

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Ibram

Who's making more sense here?

It sure the hell is not you. Well I bet most teens would agree with you, so I will give you that others who lack the experience of parenthood may share your views.

[Ibby]

TM, you have yet to even make an argument for anyone other than you to agree with! All you have done is call me every name you can think of. You have yet to defend the fact that you overcontrol your children other than the fact that you can.

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Ibram

TM, you have yet to even make an argument for anyone other than you to agree with! All you have done is call me every name you can think of. You have yet to defend the fact that you overcontrol your children other than the fact that you can.

Again, I know you have the hearing and attention span of a teen so let me repeat this slowwwwwlllly.....

Where do I "over control" my children?

[Ibby]

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

Again, I know you have the hearing and attention span of a teen so let me repeat this slowwwwwlllly.....

Where do I "over control" my children?

Originally Posted by TheMercenary

Any parent with a teen in the house should get and have installed on all computers in the house this program, we have it on all of ours and can monitor everything our kids do: http://www.computer-monitoring.com/spectorpro.htm


You can also get this:

http://www.mysafekeeper.com/blockteens/

[Ibby]

What's there to respond to?

Sure, parents should limit kids' access to ADULT content... I guess. (I rather resent the assumption that there is a such thing as adult content, but thats up to you)
But for a teenager especially, teaching them why they shouldnt do it then trusting them not to until theyre ready for it is the only acceptable course of action, in my book, and the only that will work.

[TheMercenary]

Originally Posted by Ibram

What's there to respond to?

Sure, parents should limit kids' access to ADULT content... I guess. (I rather resent the assumption that there is a such thing as adult content, but thats up to you)
But for a teenager especially, teaching them why they shouldnt do it then trusting them not to until theyre ready for it is the only acceptable course of action, in my book, and the only that will work.

Out of the mouth of a babe... why of course a teen such as you would make such a comment. You are all knowing. All experienced. So I would suggest that your comment of I am a Mother-fucking-Asshole because of the way I choose to parent is none of you punk teen business. now is it? And may you be blessed with a child just like you, that is the best anyone could hope for you. I wish you the best. And I hope that no harm comes to any of your spawn because of your ignorance.