Songs with the word "asshole" in them - Page 2

Spexxvet · 03-30-2007, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint

Bush had this song that said something about "my asshole brother" I think...

About Jeb?

SquadRat1 · 03-30-2007, 11:21 AM

I am a dumba$$

Hime · 03-30-2007, 01:08 PM

This was originally recorded by the Modern Lovers, but the two cover versions by John Cale and David Bowie are better known:

Pablo Picasso

Well some people try to pick up girls
And get called assholes
This never happened to Pablo Picasso
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare and
So Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole

Well the girls would turn the color
Of the avocado when he would drive
Down their street in his El Dorado
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole
Not like you
Alright

Well he was only 5'3"
But girls could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole
Not in New York

Oh well be not schmuck, be not obnoxious,
Be not bellbottom bummer or asshole
Remember the story of Pablo Picasso
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare
Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole
Alright this is it

Some people try to pick up girls
And they get called an asshole
This never happened to Pablo Picasso
He could walk down your street
And girls could not resist his stare and so
Pablo Picasso was never called...

Drax · 05-11-2007, 12:41 AM

DENIS LEARY - ASSHOLE

(Spoken)
Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American dream.
About me, about you, about the way our American hearts beat way down
in the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the
cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the subcockle
area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the
colon, we don't know.

(Sung)
I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job.
I'm your average white suburbanite slob.
I like football and porno and books about war.
I've got an average house with a nice hardwood floor.

My wife and my job, my kids and my car.
My feet on my table and a cuban cigar.

But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested
(oh no) no way (uh-uh)
No, I've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense
(oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane,
While people behind me are going insane.

I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, such an asshole)
I use public toilets and piss on the seat,
I walk around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?"
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)
Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces,
While handicapped people make handicapped faces.
I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's a real fucking asshole)

Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song
Ranting and raving and carrying on
Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong
NAAAAH!

I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole)
I'm an asshole (he's the world's biggest asshole)

(Spoken)
Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado,
hot-fuckin'-pink, with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather cow interior and big
brown baby seal eyes for headlights... yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in
that baby doing 115 miles an hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, suckin' down
quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non-
biodegradable styrofoam containers... yeah! And when I'm done suckin' down
those greaseball burgers I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the
side, and there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it. You know why?
Because we got the bombs, that's why... yeah! Two words--nuclear fuckin'
weapons, OK? Russia, Czechoslovakia, Romania, they can have all the democracy
they want...they can have a democracy cakewalk right through the middle of
Tienamen Square and it won't make a lick of fuckin' difference, because we got
the bombs, OK? John Wayne's not dead--he's frozen! And when we find a cure for
cancer, we're gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You
know why? You ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15 million
times--that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and
John Casavetti and Sam Peckinpaw and a case of fuckin' whisky and drive...

(Hey, hey, hey, hey, you know you really are an asshole?)

Why don't you shut up and sing the song, Chris. I thought I was the
asshole... all the time it was him... what an asshole!

(Sung)
I'm an asshole (I'm an asshole, he's an asshole)
I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole)
A S-S H-O L-E
Everybody, A S-S H-O L-E
Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay
A-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom
Oooooooo

(Spoken)
I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it!

(Chris mouths: Asshole)

elSicomoro · 03-31-2007, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flint

Bush had this song that said something about "my asshole brother" I think...

"Everything's Zen" from their first CD.

Shawnee123 · 03-30-2007, 03:05 PM

You just made my weekend, cheers!

Maui Nick · 04-08-2007, 08:40 PM

I'm disappointed.

All this way and not one mention of Denis Leary? For shame.

http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=6WiV2fyvRbs

Clodfobble · 04-08-2007, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by case

I really do want to know what other songs are out there with the word asshole in them, besides Denis Leary's "Asshole" song.

Original post, dude.

Crimson Ghost · 04-09-2007, 05:09 AM

Jimmy Buffett - The Asshole Song (The I-95 Song)

Well I was drivin' down I-95 the other night.
Somebody nearly cut me right off the road.
I decided it wasn't gonna do any good to get mad.
So I wrote a song about him instead.
It goes like this...

Were you born an asshole?
Or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way it worked out fine
'cause you're an asshole tonight.

Yes you're an A S S H O L E...
And don't you try to blame it on me.
You deserve all the credit.
You're an asshole tonight.

You were an asshole yesterday.
You're an asshole tonight.
And I've got a feelin'
you'll be an asshole the rest of your life.

And I was talkin' to your mother
just the other night.
I told her I thought you were an asshole.
She said, "Yes. I think you're right."

And all your friends are assholes
'cause you've known them your whole life.
And somebody told me
you've got an asshole for a wife.

Were you born an asshole?
Or did you work at it your whole life?
Either way it worked out fine
'cause you're an aaaass...hole tonight.

littlenickyer · 04-13-2007, 01:36 PM

Smash, by The Offspring

Head over heals I´ve fit in before
Now I don´t wanna do it no more
I´ve held it all in with blood on my face
Built it up man so bad you can taste
I don´t slag no one
I don´t even judge
Don´t give a shit ´cause I´m not gonna budge
I just want to be who I want to be
Guess that´s hard for others to see
I´m not a trendy asshole
I Do what I want
I Do what I feel like
I´m not a trendy asshole
Don´t give a fuck
If it´s good enough for you
Cause I am alive
Smash is the way you feel all alone
Like an outcast you´re out on your own
Smash is the way you deal with your life
Like an outcast you´re smashing your strife
Head over heels I´ve fit in before
Now I don´t want to do it no more
I just want to be who I want to be
Guess that´s hard for others to see

03-30-2007, 11:21 AM	#2
SquadRat1 Caste-Away Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 48	What about... I am a dumba$$ Last edited by SquadRat1; 03-30-2007 at 02:33 PM. Reason: Becuase I didn't read the whole starting post!

05-11-2007, 12:41 AM	#4
Drax Banned Join Date: May 2007 Location: Gallman, MS, USA Posts: 1,933	How about "Asshole" by Denis Leary DENIS LEARY - ASSHOLE (Spoken) Folks, I'd like to sing a song about the American dream. About me, about you, about the way our American hearts beat way down in the bottom of our chests. About the special feeling we get in the cockles of our hearts, maybe below the cockles, maybe in the subcockle area. Maybe in the liver. Maybe in the kidneys. Maybe even in the colon, we don't know. (Sung) I'm just a regular Joe with a regular job. I'm your average white suburbanite slob. I like football and porno and books about war. I've got an average house with a nice hardwood floor. My wife and my job, my kids and my car. My feet on my table and a cuban cigar. But sometimes that just ain't enough to keep a man like me interested (oh no) no way (uh-uh) No, I've gotta go out and have fun at someone else's expense (oh yeah) Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I drive really slow in the ultra-fast lane, While people behind me are going insane. I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, such an asshole) I use public toilets and piss on the seat, I walk around in the summertime saying "How about this heat?" I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole) Sometimes I park in handicapped spaces, While handicapped people make handicapped faces. I'm an asshole (He's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's a real fucking asshole) Maybe I shouldn't be singing this song Ranting and raving and carrying on Maybe they're right when they tell me I'm wrong NAAAAH! I'm an asshole (he's an asshole, what an asshole) I'm an asshole (he's the world's biggest asshole) (Spoken) Know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna get myself a 1967 Cadillac El Dorado, hot-fuckin'-pink, with whaleskin hubcaps and all-leather cow interior and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights... yeah! And I'm gonna drive around in that baby doing 115 miles an hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, suckin' down quarter pound cheeseburgers from McDonald's in the old-fashioned non- biodegradable styrofoam containers... yeah! And when I'm done suckin' down those greaseball burgers I'm gonna toss the styrofoam containers right out the side, and there ain't a goddamn thing anybody can do about it. You know why? Because we got the bombs, that's why... yeah! Two words--nuclear fuckin' weapons, OK? Russia, Czechoslovakia, Romania, they can have all the democracy they want...they can have a democracy cakewalk right through the middle of Tienamen Square and it won't make a lick of fuckin' difference, because we got the bombs, OK? John Wayne's not dead--he's frozen! And when we find a cure for cancer, we're gonna thaw out the Duke and he's gonna be pretty pissed off. You know why? You ever taken a cold shower? Well, multiply that by 15 million times--that's how pissed off the Duke's gonna be. I'm gonna get the Duke and John Casavetti and Sam Peckinpaw and a case of fuckin' whisky and drive... (Hey, hey, hey, hey, you know you really are an asshole?) Why don't you shut up and sing the song, Chris. I thought I was the asshole... all the time it was him... what an asshole! (Sung) I'm an asshole (I'm an asshole, he's an asshole) I'm an asshole (He's the world's biggest asshole) A S-S H-O L-E Everybody, A S-S H-O L-E Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay Ay-Ay A-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom A-thoom-thoom Oooooooo (Spoken) I'm an asshole and I'm proud of it! (Chris mouths: Asshole)

03-30-2007, 03:05 PM	#6
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	You just made my weekend, cheers! __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

04-08-2007, 08:40 PM	#7
Maui Nick ... is not really in Maui. Weird, huh? Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Near the beach Posts: 153	I'm disappointed. All this way and not one mention of Denis Leary? For shame. http://www.youtube.com/watch.php?v=6WiV2fyvRbs __________________ PROJECT STILL TO BE COMPLETED: Adding silly *.sig.

04-09-2007, 05:09 AM	#9
Crimson Ghost Larger than life and twice as ugly. Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 5,264	Jimmy Buffett - The Asshole Song (The I-95 Song) Well I was drivin' down I-95 the other night. Somebody nearly cut me right off the road. I decided it wasn't gonna do any good to get mad. So I wrote a song about him instead. It goes like this... Were you born an asshole? Or did you work at it your whole life? Either way it worked out fine 'cause you're an asshole tonight. Yes you're an A S S H O L E... And don't you try to blame it on me. You deserve all the credit. You're an asshole tonight. You were an asshole yesterday. You're an asshole tonight. And I've got a feelin' you'll be an asshole the rest of your life. And I was talkin' to your mother just the other night. I told her I thought you were an asshole. She said, "Yes. I think you're right." And all your friends are assholes 'cause you've known them your whole life. And somebody told me you've got an asshole for a wife. Were you born an asshole? Or did you work at it your whole life? Either way it worked out fine 'cause you're an aaaass...hole tonight. __________________ We must all go through a rite of passage. It must be physical, it must be painful, and it must leave a mark. I have no knowledge of the events which you are describing, and if I did have knowledge of them, I would be unable to discuss them with you now or at any future period. Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years

03-30-2007, 01:08 PM	#3
Hime Extraordinary Machine Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Outside of Washington, DC Posts: 307	This was originally recorded by the Modern Lovers, but the two cover versions by John Cale and David Bowie are better known: Pablo Picasso Well some people try to pick up girls And get called assholes This never happened to Pablo Picasso He could walk down your street And girls could not resist his stare and So Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole Well the girls would turn the color Of the avocado when he would drive Down their street in his El Dorado He could walk down your street And girls could not resist his stare Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole Not like you Alright Well he was only 5'3" But girls could not resist his stare Pablo Picasso never got called an asshole Not in New York Oh well be not schmuck, be not obnoxious, Be not bellbottom bummer or asshole Remember the story of Pablo Picasso He could walk down your street And girls could not resist his stare Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole Alright this is it Some people try to pick up girls And they get called an asshole This never happened to Pablo Picasso He could walk down your street And girls could not resist his stare and so Pablo Picasso was never called...

04-13-2007, 01:36 PM	#10
littlenickyer I Love Lamp Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Washington, DC Posts: 37	Smash, by The Offspring Head over heals I´ve fit in before Now I don´t wanna do it no more I´ve held it all in with blood on my face Built it up man so bad you can taste I don´t slag no one I don´t even judge Don´t give a shit ´cause I´m not gonna budge I just want to be who I want to be Guess that´s hard for others to see I´m not a trendy asshole I Do what I want I Do what I feel like I´m not a trendy asshole Don´t give a fuck If it´s good enough for you Cause I am alive Smash is the way you feel all alone Like an outcast you´re out on your own Smash is the way you deal with your life Like an outcast you´re smashing your strife Head over heels I´ve fit in before Now I don´t want to do it no more I just want to be who I want to be Guess that´s hard for others to see __________________ Chant it with me: "Sine Sine Cosine Sine 3.14159"

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