Uh oh, scared him off?? - Page 2

yesman065 · 01-06-2007, 01:53 PM

So whats been happenin Duck?

DucksNuts · 01-06-2007, 03:09 PM

Well, he flew back to Darwin yesterday and we left things up in the air, but will talk about it over the next week or so.

Problem was this trip, he had to spread himself soooo thinly. With Iraq, there will only be one more time this year that he can see his kids, so he had to try and cram in as much as possible with them, his family that he hasnt seen since the middle of last month, and me.

We had a bit of a chat yesterday before he left, and he's kinda thinking about the big (well HUGE) picture now....like.....is it his right to uproot families to make it work?...he gets shoved from pillar to post with his postings - what will happen with that? I have a great job and network here - us being together will effect that....etc etc etc.

He seems to think *he* has to make all those decisions and decide whats best for me and the boys - why do men think that?

I'm thinking, once he gets back home and there is 4000+kms between us, he will decide that its all too hard and thats it.

My boss (in his infinite wisdom - do gooder gone wrong!!), gave me 3 tickets to Darwin at the end of this month for a week as part of my Christmas Bonus.

Problem is, Army dude will probably be away for 3 of them transporting weapons from Sydney.

.....I can see you guys becoming very familiar with my failed love life :p

xoxoxoBruce · 01-06-2007, 08:09 PM

It's convoluted, it may be bumpy for you, it may even change directions like a pinball machine. But it's not "failed" until the fat lady sings.
As long as it keeps you entertained, it's cool....unless you've set goals, you feel bad about not attaining. Some people do that and get quite depressed when they don't make their goals, no matter how unrealistic the goals may be.

Mind over matter.....if you don't mind, it don't matter.

DucksNuts · 01-13-2007, 11:49 PM

Trip up there has been postponed till mid March, as Army dude is escorting weapons the day after I was s'posed to arrive up there.

We talk most days and I still get mighty confused, because things have changed a little (his behavior wise), but he says all the right things and I just need to stop over thinking shit and live in the moment

We will see each other at least twice, maybe three times before he goes to Iraq in May.

yesman065 · 01-13-2007, 11:52 PM

Maybe you should just chill a little - I think he must have an awful lot of shit on his mind with his being deployed and all.

DucksNuts · 01-14-2007, 01:01 AM

Youre right yesman, I tell myself that and I am keeping my head straight at the moment.

Iraq is a whole different kettle of fish to the other places he has been deployed.

yesman065 · 01-14-2007, 12:57 PM

I know and what I'm thinking is that he may not to commit to you in any way - even if he wanted to, because he is going there. Perhaps trying to save you some pain or anguish - whatever. I know that this really doesn't change the way you feel, but it might make it easier for him somehow. Hang tight girl *cyber hug* sent your way.

DucksNuts · 01-28-2007, 03:43 AM

Ohhh, a bit more info which kinda helps things fit in my head a little.

He's had a seriously shitty run with women, his ex wife run off with an 18yr old (she was 28) whilst he was deployed in Timor and took his 2 kids.

The next big relationship he had turned really nasty when she turned out to by a nutter!! Without boring you all with the details, her latest stunt was yesterday and involved police from 2 states. They have been separated since Nov 2005.

So he said, he's feeling very wary about any relationship moving past the casual stage.

Perry Winkle · 01-28-2007, 05:47 AM

“Bad timing is the reason most normal people end up single.”

- Jon Favreau, Love & Sex

It was in a movie so I'm going to believe it.

xoxoxoBruce · 01-28-2007, 11:13 AM

Considering his history of choosing wackos, I'd take his reluctance to commit as a compliment. If you're nuts you must be hiding it well.

I've suspected you weren't really farked in the head, now I'm convinced you're a pretty together chick.

01-06-2007, 08:09 PM	#18
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	It's convoluted, it may be bumpy for you, it may even change directions like a pinball machine. But it's not "failed" until the fat lady sings. As long as it keeps you entertained, it's cool....unless you've set goals, you feel bad about not attaining. Some people do that and get quite depressed when they don't make their goals, no matter how unrealistic the goals may be. Mind over matter.....if you don't mind, it don't matter. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

01-28-2007, 11:13 AM	#25
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Considering his history of choosing wackos, I'd take his reluctance to commit as a compliment. If you're nuts you must be hiding it well. I've suspected you weren't really farked in the head, now I'm convinced you're a pretty together chick. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

01-06-2007, 01:53 PM	#16
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	So whats been happenin Duck?

01-06-2007, 03:09 PM	#17
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Well, he flew back to Darwin yesterday and we left things up in the air, but will talk about it over the next week or so. Problem was this trip, he had to spread himself soooo thinly. With Iraq, there will only be one more time this year that he can see his kids, so he had to try and cram in as much as possible with them, his family that he hasnt seen since the middle of last month, and me. We had a bit of a chat yesterday before he left, and he's kinda thinking about the big (well HUGE) picture now....like.....is it his right to uproot families to make it work?...he gets shoved from pillar to post with his postings - what will happen with that? I have a great job and network here - us being together will effect that....etc etc etc. He seems to think he has to make all those decisions and decide whats best for me and the boys - why do men think that? I'm thinking, once he gets back home and there is 4000+kms between us, he will decide that its all too hard and thats it. My boss (in his infinite wisdom - do gooder gone wrong!!), gave me 3 tickets to Darwin at the end of this month for a week as part of my Christmas Bonus. Problem is, Army dude will probably be away for 3 of them transporting weapons from Sydney. .....I can see you guys becoming very familiar with my failed love life :p

01-13-2007, 11:49 PM	#19
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Trip up there has been postponed till mid March, as Army dude is escorting weapons the day after I was s'posed to arrive up there. We talk most days and I still get mighty confused, because things have changed a little (his behavior wise), but he says all the right things and I just need to stop over thinking shit and live in the moment We will see each other at least twice, maybe three times before he goes to Iraq in May.

01-13-2007, 11:52 PM	#20
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	Maybe you should just chill a little - I think he must have an awful lot of shit on his mind with his being deployed and all.

01-14-2007, 01:01 AM	#21
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Youre right yesman, I tell myself that and I am keeping my head straight at the moment. Iraq is a whole different kettle of fish to the other places he has been deployed.

01-14-2007, 12:57 PM	#22
yesman065 Banned - Self Imposed Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 1,847	I know and what I'm thinking is that he may not to commit to you in any way - even if he wanted to, because he is going there. Perhaps trying to save you some pain or anguish - whatever. I know that this really doesn't change the way you feel, but it might make it easier for him somehow. Hang tight girl cyber hug sent your way.

01-28-2007, 03:43 AM	#23
DucksNuts Bitchy Little Brat Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Queensland, Australia Posts: 5,067	Ohhh, a bit more info which kinda helps things fit in my head a little. He's had a seriously shitty run with women, his ex wife run off with an 18yr old (she was 28) whilst he was deployed in Timor and took his 2 kids. The next big relationship he had turned really nasty when she turned out to by a nutter!! Without boring you all with the details, her latest stunt was yesterday and involved police from 2 states. They have been separated since Nov 2005. So he said, he's feeling very wary about any relationship moving past the casual stage.

01-28-2007, 05:47 AM	#24
Perry Winkle Esnohplad Semaj Ton Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: A little south of sanity Posts: 2,259	“Bad timing is the reason most normal people end up single.” - Jon Favreau, Love & Sex It was in a movie so I'm going to believe it.

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