Need some help - Page 2

bbro · 07-07-2006, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BigV

If by creepy you mean brilliant, compassionate, articulate and insightful, um, yeah.

Pretty much, no slight intended.

Elspode - I will keep you all posted. I think that is why I am thinking about this because I know that love isn't enough sometimes. I hope that I can figure it out. I have some trouble beleiving what I think is right because I don't really have any experience in relationships. I value your opinion and thoughts. Thank you

Clodfobble · 07-07-2006, 04:19 PM

I'd like to add one other thing: the minute he asks you for money to help pay for fines, ankle payments, etc., you need to take another very hard look at things. Sounds like the hurtful words were accidental (and also very typical-male, I've learned not to ask questions like "Did you think about me?" because I never like the answer...), so he may end up being a good guy who has just had some tough times; only you can know for sure. But asking you for money would be a huge red flag, so don't rationalize it if it happens.

Elspode · 07-07-2006, 05:46 PM

Money, or anything else that he could be attempting to generate for himself. Good advice, CF.

The best relationships are the ones where both parties bring independence and mutual contributions to the table.

xoxoxoBruce · 07-07-2006, 09:58 PM

bbro, I've been thinking back on things you've said about your past (growing up & home) and your disgust with the things you see going on (especially young people) in the community around you.

It sounds like you're determined not to make the mistakes you've seen trap those people into a hopeless situations. Good for you.

Be wary of anyone or anything that doesn't seem right..... that might hold you back from a better future. Gut feelings are important, don't ignore them. And don't give up your dreams...you're way to young for that.

bbro · 07-10-2006, 12:36 PM

Thanks for all the advice and support. I really wasn't sure if I was doing the right things, but you all have made me feel infinately better about that.

About the money, I think I mentioned before is that I am sending his mother money to help pay for things while he is in there. We are splitting it half and half. His mother doesn't understand how expensive it is and I have it from a couple people that food in jail is horrible. He is going to pay me back when he gets out and starts working - he has a couple things that could span out into a job.

I was even going to send him a ticket to come and see me, but my friend said "Don't you dare pay for it. If he wants to come see you bad enough, he will find a way." I told him that I didn't have the money to send him a ticket and he is going to find a way down here when he can.

His fines on the other hand(they are from the DUI), are his own. I would send money to a close friend if they were in the same situation.

Elspode · 07-10-2006, 04:24 PM

Charitable giving is a noble action, Bbro. Just make sure the guy doesn't see you as an easily exploited softheart, okay?

bbro · 07-11-2006, 07:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elspode

Charitable giving is a noble action, Bbro. Just make sure the guy doesn't see you as an easily exploited softheart, okay?

I will, not to worry. I am finally making some money and would like to start saving - nothing will stop me from that

07-07-2006, 05:46 PM	#18
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Money, or anything else that he could be attempting to generate for himself. Good advice, CF. The best relationships are the ones where both parties bring independence and mutual contributions to the table. __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

07-07-2006, 09:58 PM	#19
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	bbro, I've been thinking back on things you've said about your past (growing up & home) and your disgust with the things you see going on (especially young people) in the community around you. It sounds like you're determined not to make the mistakes you've seen trap those people into a hopeless situations. Good for you. Be wary of anyone or anything that doesn't seem right..... that might hold you back from a better future. Gut feelings are important, don't ignore them. And don't give up your dreams...you're way to young for that. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

07-10-2006, 04:24 PM	#21
Elspode When Do I Get Virtual Unreality? Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Raytown, Missouri Posts: 12,719	Charitable giving is a noble action, Bbro. Just make sure the guy doesn't see you as an easily exploited softheart, okay? __________________ "To those of you who are wearing ties, I think my dad would appreciate it if you took them off." - Robert Moog

07-07-2006, 04:19 PM	#17
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	I'd like to add one other thing: the minute he asks you for money to help pay for fines, ankle payments, etc., you need to take another very hard look at things. Sounds like the hurtful words were accidental (and also very typical-male, I've learned not to ask questions like "Did you think about me?" because I never like the answer...), so he may end up being a good guy who has just had some tough times; only you can know for sure. But asking you for money would be a huge red flag, so don't rationalize it if it happens.

07-10-2006, 12:36 PM	#20
bbro Insert witty comment here Join Date: May 2004 Location: Raleigh, NC Posts: 2,182	Thanks for all the advice and support. I really wasn't sure if I was doing the right things, but you all have made me feel infinately better about that. About the money, I think I mentioned before is that I am sending his mother money to help pay for things while he is in there. We are splitting it half and half. His mother doesn't understand how expensive it is and I have it from a couple people that food in jail is horrible. He is going to pay me back when he gets out and starts working - he has a couple things that could span out into a job. I was even going to send him a ticket to come and see me, but my friend said "Don't you dare pay for it. If he wants to come see you bad enough, he will find a way." I told him that I didn't have the money to send him a ticket and he is going to find a way down here when he can. His fines on the other hand(they are from the DUI), are his own. I would send money to a close friend if they were in the same situation.

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