Weird things that happen to you at work...

[twentycentshift]

i worked in a porno shop for a while in college. some of the weird things i saw there, you wouldn't want to hear about.......

[Stress Puppy]

I used to work for a Borders in Pennsylvania. We had a share of people there that were quite insane. One guy, we called him Barking Guy, I'm fairly certain was schizophrenic. He earned his name because one of the first times he was in the store, he stood less than a foot from some huge body builder and started barking at him.

Another time, this guy was wandering around the store, pointing at random customers and mutters things like, "Robert Kennedy... you asshole".. he pointed at my supervisor, Neil, and said, "Rush Limbaugh.. you're a bastard"

And yet another time, he was in line behind another employee at the cafe. He taps the employee on the shoulder, and the employee turns to see what's up. Then the barking guy leans down (He was fairly tall) and screams, "FUCK YOU" .. then acts like nothing happened.

My current job doesn't give me much in the way of 'strange' so much as 'omg you're stupid.' Like the guy that thought his home printer had a problem because the file he tried to print at work came out garbled.

[bluecuracao]

A one or two-time customer of ours came in to the store one afternoon, Stoned Out Of His Gourd, and after a little gibberish, proclaimed that he was really hungry. He said that I should give him a dollar, because he wanted purchase a hotdog from the cart across the street.

Now, we get the occasional street person coming in and asking for money, but this one threw me for a loop...not just because I'd never seen him blotto before, but also here was a guy who I thought would come in and start shopping, and instead he quite firmly requests hotdog money! It was a little bizarre, and in the moment, slightly frightening. I decided to follow my instincts and replied, man, I have no money for you.

Well, geez, his shoulders just dropped, and his puffy eyes welled up with tears ("But I'm really hungry!"). For chrissakes. Then it dawned on me that one can say things to stoned people that don't make sense, and they may believe you, and also that the hotdog cart vendor was a big guy who could probably handle this weirdo more efficiently than I. So I suggested to UltraStoned Man that maybe the vendor would give him a FREE hotdog. It worked, thank god--he perked up and said Yeah, free hotdog! and wandered out the door. Never saw him again.

[elSicomoro]

This isn't weird per se, but...for a long time, I've hoped to get laid at my workplace. It hasn't happened yet, but it could happen this time around, depending on a few circumstances. We'll see...

[wolf]

I've been fucked over by my employer, but never laid by one.

Wouldn't the lovely Miss April be somewhat distressed by this goal of yours?

[elSicomoro]

Why? She'd most likely be a willing participant.

[wolf]

What, doing her and your boss at the same time? I didn't think you liked your boss that much.

[elSicomoro]

That's not what I meant! I meant that April would come to my workplace and I would get laid depending on the circumstances.

[wolf]

It would be a fun way to get fired, but I think it might negatively impact your future hireability and earnings, even with the MBA.

Check your employee handbook before proceeding. It might not be specifically prohibited.

[Crimson Ghost]

I used to work at "Ramsey Outdoor". The Paramus store was in "The Sopranos". I was in the Ramsey store.

One day, two guys drive up in a Jeep, walk to the canoes, pick one up, and walk out. As they passed the cashier, they held up a pink piece of paper, announced that they that the purchace order, and to have a good day. The next day, the manager wanted to know where the hell the canoe was. Turns out that all these guys had was a piece of pink constuction paper. And we laffed, and laffed, and laffed. And the cashier applied for unemployment...

[zippyt]

weird shit , well ,,,,,

Once I saw a box break open and various body parts fell to the floor ,
Once I was crawling around in what I thought was mud , later I found out there was a broken sewer mail neer by ,
More than once I have been drawn down on ( with a fire arm ) ,
Once I had to have Sherif Deputies with me to do my job ,

Shall I continue ????

[plthijinx]

there's this dude that argues and yells at the crosswalk lights here in downtown houston. very strange. the dude is always dressed well so i don't think he's a bum. funny as shit, though. when the X-walk light is white he either preaches to it, shouting of course, or screams about the gubmint. guess it depends on what kind of mood he's in that day. funny thing is that when the walk light changes to don't walk (red) he stops yelling at it! everyone that works downtown and spends anytime outside knows of him. depending on what day of the week it is dictates what street he's on. yesterday was Travis street day. Monday will be Louisiana steet day. dude is a beer or two short of a six pack.

[Spexxvet]

Originally Posted by sycamore

This isn't weird per se, but...for a long time, I've hoped to get laid at my workplace. It hasn't happened yet, but it could happen this time around, depending on a few circumstances. We'll see...

Twenty-five years ago, I had a relationship with a coworker. She taught me a lot in the back room.

[Spexxvet]

Originally Posted by KinkyVixen

So I work at a bank...and i'm on the teller line. This old man just belched in my face. A raunchy nasty belch and didn't even say excuse me. Gross!

What weird things happen to you guys while you are at work?

I've been fitting glasses right across a desk from more than one old gal that let one fly...and they don't even miss a beat. Recently we had the waiting room chairs steam cleaned because they smelled of urine.

[Stormieweather]

I worked in a family pizzeria for several years as a second job. Some of the customers there would amaze you!.

Anyway, there was one lady that would come in the instant we opened (10:30 am). She was always attired in fairly decent clothing, but messy and dirty. She wanted to buy two slices of pizza and would question me as to whether they were freshly made or leftovers from the day before. I'd reassure her that we never served anything from the day before and all our pizza's were just made. She'd hand over her money ($3.14 worth) and it was always filthy, mangled change that had obviously been salvaged off the ground. Then she'd disappear into the ladies room and take a bath. Literally. 15 minutes later she would reappear, damp and shiny, and take her pizza. We'd then have to go mop up the restroom.

Another lady in her mid-30's would come in to eat once in a while in the mid-afternoon. Luckily, that was when there were few or no customers about. She was a bit overweight and always dressed as a streetwalker might...short shorts with her butt cheeks showing, see thru blouses with no bra, rolls of fat showing around the edges of her too tight clothing. She would order an entire pizza and a pitcher of coke and sit at a booth near the back of the restaurant. Now this is where things got weird. She would talk out loud to herself, as though she were having a conversation with an invisible person. Sometimes these conversations were mumbled and sometimes they were vehement. She would toss her long hair over her shoulder in a flirtatious manner and she constantly squirmed around on the bench. It appeared at times as though she was playing with herself, but none of us wanted to get close enough to verify that for sure. This would last a very long, uncomfortable 90 minutes or so, then she'd pay and saunter out.

Then there was the kitchen helper that was always drunk. He would drop the change, lean down to pick it up and bump the register drawer on his way up..exploding all the change out and onto him and the floor. He got very belligerant at times with the customers and/or employees. He rode a bicycle and would wobble away when his shift was over. Needless to say, he didn't last long.


Fun, fun.

I miss that place!

Stormie