Serious Question......What do women really want in a serious relationship?

[perth]

I thought I knew what I wanted after the divorce, and I waited patiently for a long friggin' time to find it. Suddenly this girl comes along and she's almost the complete opposite. My brains and my guts turn to mush when I see her and all I think about when she's not around is when I'm going to see her next. All that proves is that I have no fucking clue what I want. But I'm having a great time finding out. I think this may be a better way of going about things; getting out of my comfort zone and experiencing something my puny little mind and limited life view would otherwise exclude.

I'm probably wrong, but what the hell.

[mrnoodle]

I think people get in trouble trying too hard to narrowly define what they want in a mate. perth's way of discovering what he's ready for is natural -- just get to know people and see what happens.

I know one big mistake people in my age group and younger (25-35) make is to plan out their lives down to every minute detail, and try to find a partner that fits their plan. I've seen two divorces because of it, and one broken engagement (mine). I've also seen a couple of good friends and a close relative get married because it was "time to be married" and they thought they would get old and lonely if they didn't hitch up. Well, they're still getting older, and they're still lonely, they just have a joint checking account.

So go with the flow, but keep an eye out for roadblocks, I guess. And don't be afraid to not find someone. The desperation rays that emanate from some older single people are spooky.

[Catwoman]

Hmm, this is all very well and good (sm's post, particularly) but what women really want - in no particular order - is the following:

1. Touch. We gotta want to touch you. Smooth skin, natural warmth and a teasing detachedness all help. Make us want you, but only if we want you already. We want to find a guy we really want, who wants us equally, and who keeps us on our toes. Don't treat em mean, but do keep em keen. (We won't go off you anyway - it's just a game, and it stops us looking wishfully at other less interested guys.)

2. Looks. You don't have to be superficially good looking, you might even be ugly. But a brightness in the eyes, a sexy grin and a gentle physical manner will do the trick. A gentle man with a cheeky glint drives us mad fantasising about the point he turns 'bad' and pins us forcefully to the floor with his shlong.

3. Smell/taste. Don't stink. Wash your willy. And let your natural smell come through by not wearing too much aftershave or spray (god I hate that stuff). This way, you'll attract (and keep) a woman who really wants you for you, not for your bottle of Davidoff.

4. Sound. Sorry but high pitched voices don't do it. Gentle, warm, deep - you'll have our knickers off in no time and we'll consider you safe and reassuring - perfect for a LTR.

5. Emotion/spiritual. Someone who understands us. Who wants to talk to us, not just grunt and watch the telly. We need to feel that connection, that rightness. To achieve this, don't talk shit, be who you are, and we'll decide if you're right for us or not.

To summarise, what we want is a fully sensually satisfying life-long experience, that reassures us in times of insecurity and maddens us with lust/desire/love for the rest of our life. It's an overall feeling we're seeking, and I'm afraid the only way this will happen is if two people are truly, honestly right for each other. This is something you'll never be able to fake.

[jaguar]

The age women work out the treated like crap/nice thing varies. A lot.
For someone who isn't sure of a lot of things you sure seem to have that down pat cat, nicely put.

[lookout123]

as near as i can tell, all women want jaguar. 'nuff said.

[OnyxCougar]

Wow. One of those rare occasions I agree with Catwoman.

Dear Diary....

[wolf]

Lusting after the young, rich, and cute is but a phase.

True love is lasting, has staying power. True love, thy name is xoxoxoBruce.

[warch]

Then there's the ability to make you laugh consistently and deeply (involves being smart and spontaneous). That, and good kisses. Good traits, hard to pin down.

[melidasaur]

Originally Posted by wolf

Lusting after the young, rich, and cute is but a phase.

As is lusting after the guy 20 years older than you who is rich and cute.

[wolf]

No, just rich. Old and rich beats cute and rich any day.

One foot in the grave, one on a banana peel, no prenup, solid will naming me as major beneficiary, with enough doled out to his kids to keep them off my ass and away from my money ... my perfect man.

Oh, and he should be kind and have a good sense of humor.

And like guns.

[jaguar]

as near as i can tell, all women want jaguar. 'nuff said.

I'd find that line more encouraging coming from a woman. How the hell'd you come to that conclusion anyway?

[OnyxCougar]

God only knows.

[lookout123]

How the hell'd you come to that conclusion anyway?

i read it on the bathroom wall. of course, it was over a urinal... so i'm not really sure what that means.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by case

One of the things that turns me off in men is the inability to speak directly. When a man hedges around subjects, uses protection mechanisms to keep from talking about something, hides or feels afraid to trust me after a few months, I take that as a red flag. Learn to be open. It is scarey, but gains respect with many of us.

Hedging around subjects that he doesn't have an answer for because he's never considered it for more than 30 seconds because it's of absolutely no importance to him but knows he's in deep shit because you asked and that means it is important to you and you'll think he's a jerk if he says it's not to him so there is no right answer to that or many other questions you ask? pant, pant Or something else?
I find the things the girls say they want when it's just "girl talk" among themselves doesn't seem to translate to their actions when it comes to m/f 1 on 1.
The same holds true for the guys. When they talk about relationships with their buddies (Ain't often), what they say and what they do at home doesn't jibe.
Just realize I'm neither a cretin nor imbecile just because there are things you view as important that I don't give a rats ass about or at least don't see as close enough to worry about yet like the color of the bedroom carpet in the house I haven't got the down payment for yet.

[jaguar]

i read it on the bathroom wall

my reputation precedes me.