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Relationships People who need people; or, why can't we all just get along? |
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04-25-2005, 06:00 PM | #16 |
Strong Silent Type
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Fort Collins, CO
Posts: 1,949
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I thought I knew what I wanted after the divorce, and I waited patiently for a long friggin' time to find it. Suddenly this girl comes along and she's almost the complete opposite. My brains and my guts turn to mush when I see her and all I think about when she's not around is when I'm going to see her next. All that proves is that I have no fucking clue what I want. But I'm having a great time finding out. I think this may be a better way of going about things; getting out of my comfort zone and experiencing something my puny little mind and limited life view would otherwise exclude.
I'm probably wrong, but what the hell. |
04-26-2005, 09:04 AM | #17 |
bent
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: under the weather
Posts: 2,656
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I think people get in trouble trying too hard to narrowly define what they want in a mate. perth's way of discovering what he's ready for is natural -- just get to know people and see what happens.
I know one big mistake people in my age group and younger (25-35) make is to plan out their lives down to every minute detail, and try to find a partner that fits their plan. I've seen two divorces because of it, and one broken engagement (mine). I've also seen a couple of good friends and a close relative get married because it was "time to be married" and they thought they would get old and lonely if they didn't hitch up. Well, they're still getting older, and they're still lonely, they just have a joint checking account. So go with the flow, but keep an eye out for roadblocks, I guess. And don't be afraid to not find someone. The desperation rays that emanate from some older single people are spooky.
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Sìn a nall na cuaranan sin. -- Cha mhór is fheairrde thu iad, tha iad coltach ri cat air a dhathadh |
04-26-2005, 10:17 AM | #18 |
stalking a Tom
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: on the edge of the english channel
Posts: 1,000
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Hmm, this is all very well and good (sm's post, particularly) but what women really want - in no particular order - is the following:
1. Touch. We gotta want to touch you. Smooth skin, natural warmth and a teasing detachedness all help. Make us want you, but only if we want you already. We want to find a guy we really want, who wants us equally, and who keeps us on our toes. Don't treat em mean, but do keep em keen. (We won't go off you anyway - it's just a game, and it stops us looking wishfully at other less interested guys.) 2. Looks. You don't have to be superficially good looking, you might even be ugly. But a brightness in the eyes, a sexy grin and a gentle physical manner will do the trick. A gentle man with a cheeky glint drives us mad fantasising about the point he turns 'bad' and pins us forcefully to the floor with his shlong. 3. Smell/taste. Don't stink. Wash your willy. And let your natural smell come through by not wearing too much aftershave or spray (god I hate that stuff). This way, you'll attract (and keep) a woman who really wants you for you, not for your bottle of Davidoff. 4. Sound. Sorry but high pitched voices don't do it. Gentle, warm, deep - you'll have our knickers off in no time and we'll consider you safe and reassuring - perfect for a LTR. 5. Emotion/spiritual. Someone who understands us. Who wants to talk to us, not just grunt and watch the telly. We need to feel that connection, that rightness. To achieve this, don't talk shit, be who you are, and we'll decide if you're right for us or not. To summarise, what we want is a fully sensually satisfying life-long experience, that reassures us in times of insecurity and maddens us with lust/desire/love for the rest of our life. It's an overall feeling we're seeking, and I'm afraid the only way this will happen is if two people are truly, honestly right for each other. This is something you'll never be able to fake.
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04-26-2005, 10:49 AM | #19 |
whig
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 5,075
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The age women work out the treated like crap/nice thing varies. A lot.
For someone who isn't sure of a lot of things you sure seem to have that down pat cat, nicely put.
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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. - Twain |
04-26-2005, 10:51 AM | #20 |
changed his status to single
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Right behind you. No, the other side.
Posts: 10,308
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as near as i can tell, all women want jaguar. 'nuff said.
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Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin |
04-26-2005, 10:54 AM | #21 |
Junior Master Dwellar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Kingdom of Atlantia
Posts: 2,979
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Wow. One of those rare occasions I agree with Catwoman.
Dear Diary....
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Impotentes defendere libertatem non possunt. "Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth." ~Franklin D. Roosevelt |
04-26-2005, 10:54 AM | #22 |
lobber of scimitars
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Phila Burbs
Posts: 20,774
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Lusting after the young, rich, and cute is but a phase.
True love is lasting, has staying power. True love, thy name is xoxoxoBruce.
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wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis |
04-26-2005, 12:01 PM | #23 |
lurkin old school
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,796
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Then there's the ability to make you laugh consistently and deeply (involves being smart and spontaneous). That, and good kisses. Good traits, hard to pin down.
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04-26-2005, 12:05 PM | #24 | |
Traded your soul for pogs.
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Champaign, IL
Posts: 646
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Quote:
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04-26-2005, 12:48 PM | #25 |
lobber of scimitars
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Phila Burbs
Posts: 20,774
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No, just rich. Old and rich beats cute and rich any day.
One foot in the grave, one on a banana peel, no prenup, solid will naming me as major beneficiary, with enough doled out to his kids to keep them off my ass and away from my money ... my perfect man. Oh, and he should be kind and have a good sense of humor. And like guns.
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wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis |
04-26-2005, 12:55 PM | #26 | |
whig
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 5,075
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Quote:
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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. - Twain |
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04-26-2005, 12:57 PM | #27 |
Junior Master Dwellar
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Kingdom of Atlantia
Posts: 2,979
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God only knows.
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Impotentes defendere libertatem non possunt. "Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth." ~Franklin D. Roosevelt |
04-26-2005, 01:54 PM | #28 | |
changed his status to single
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Right behind you. No, the other side.
Posts: 10,308
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Quote:
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Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin |
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04-26-2005, 02:12 PM | #29 | |
The future is unwritten
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 71,105
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Quote:
I find the things the girls say they want when it's just "girl talk" among themselves doesn't seem to translate to their actions when it comes to m/f 1 on 1. The same holds true for the guys. When they talk about relationships with their buddies (Ain't often), what they say and what they do at home doesn't jibe. Just realize I'm neither a cretin nor imbecile just because there are things you view as important that I don't give a rats ass about or at least don't see as close enough to worry about yet like the color of the bedroom carpet in the house I haven't got the down payment for yet.
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04-26-2005, 02:31 PM | #30 | |
whig
Join Date: Apr 2001
Posts: 5,075
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Quote:
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Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. - Twain |
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