Dropping the F bomb-- what age is acceptable? - Page 2

LabRat · 10-04-2006, 10:14 AM

We did the adult/kid word explaination for why we could but the kid couldn't use swear words. We also however let her punish us by slapping our hand if we let one slip and she caught it. (Much cuter when she was 2.5 and a lot weaker...now she's almost 4 and leaves a mark when she whacks us) If she did say a swear word, usually an eyebrow with 'the look' was enough, but if we had to slap her hand (in actuality, barely a slap, never made it even pink) she'd cry so hard, you think we cut out her tongue.

She recently said 'Oh cricket' in frustration, and now that has become the explative of choice in our house.

Edited to add: I don't believe she has ever said any sear words out of the house. It appears this method worked for us, but out kid is a girl, and there are some definite differences between the sexes. Good luck. Let us know how it turns out!

glatt · 10-04-2006, 10:33 AM

We basically stopped swearing when we had kids. It was hard.

Stormieweather · 10-04-2006, 11:22 AM

I don't swear often in front of my kids, but I *can* sound like a sailor

.

When they were little, I told them those words were grown up words (bad words) and not to say them. I never use swear words in everyday conversation so the kids learned that when mom said them, she was REALLY upset. They did go through a stage of saying these no-no words and I just reminded them not to say that. My then 4 yr old son was sent home from pre-school once for singing, "We will, we will fuck you!" to the tune of 'We Will Rock You', by Queen. :p

Around age 12, I began teaching them that using bad words for shock value did nothing to reinforce their arguement, but rather was a rather weak method of trying to make it look like you had a more viable position than you did in your arguement/statement. I taught them that someone who truly had a great arguement would never need to use swear words to convince his opponent.

The adult kids fell into swearing (probably for shock value) about age 16 or so. I allowed it with the boundary that they not use those words towards family members (disrespectful and abusive). There were very few slip ups and the swearing tapered off as they matured.

Most importantly, teach by example. I very rarely swore and would make a big production gasp when someone would swear in a song or on TV. Then I'd look at the kids and in a conspiratorial whisper say, "We don't say that word do we?". They'd want to be part of the 'we' that didn't say swear words, so they'd answer back..."NOPE! Thats a swear word!".

Stormie

mrnoodle · 10-04-2006, 11:52 AM

My parents absolutely hate swearing. You might elicit a "hell" or "b-i-t-c-h" (spelled out, of course) from my mom, and the occasional "horse's ass" from my dad, but that's it. So it was funny last night when some salesperson called their house and I answered the phone.

"Hello?"
"Yes, this is Lindsay from the Coloradoan (our local newsrag), how are YOU this evening?"
"Terrible, people keep interrupting our dinner to sell us shit."

My mom jumped like she had stepped on a rattler. I should do that more often.

footfootfoot · 10-04-2006, 11:53 AM

Wow. A lot of opinions and advice.

Just to set the record straight, we don't swear in front of the inchling, or any kids for that matter. We've managed to clean it up, though SWMBO admitted she let the f word slip the other week.

It is quite possible that he heard it then or at any one of a hundred times he's been at the playground or walking along the street. Unlike when I was growing up, you couldn't hear long streams of profanity used adjectivally as you walked down the street coming form the mouths of random people having loud conversations. People didn't really do that on Main St.

I hesitate to mention it, because I don't think he really knows it's a word and I'm not sure he'd get or remember a lecture. i.e. he needs to be reminded to look both ways before he crosses the street every single time we cross the street. I'm not sure they really remember things all that much without constant reinforcement. So would a lecture now be premature? Might I wait and see if he gets tired of saying it. (So far not at all today)

I think spexx's advice to sing along and change the consonant may work best at this point, he is still very much imitating and he will probably decide that he ahd heard it wrong and it is buck buck buck.

I'll keep you posted.

lhatcher · 10-17-2006, 04:22 PM

We had neighbors once who had 8-yearold twin boys and a 15-year old, who liked the F-word. So when I heard the twins using it in front of my 5-year old I pulled them aside and said "now I know you can remember not to say 'fuck' in front on your mom, right?" Their eyes got huge that an adult had used that word to them. But they nodded at me. So I continued.. "then I'm sure you can remember not to say 'fuck' in front of little kids. You're big boys, say that to yourselves all you want but little boys don't need to hear that word and you know it." That put a stop to it.

when said 5-year old said it within my hearing, probably around 15 as well (he's now 24) I said "Hey! I don't want to hear that. Say it to your friends all you want but you won't be saying it to me,understand?" and that put a stop to it. Of course he continued to say it I'm sure, but only with friends because I never heard it again. I'm not perfect but I think my kids respected me and my wish not to hear it. Of course I say it, but only to my friends.

Griff · 10-17-2006, 05:43 PM

Pete dropped an F bomb at dinner tonight when W came on the radio talking nonsense. We had a nice discussion initiated by the girls about when or if that is appropriate.

footfootfoot · 10-17-2006, 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Griff

Pete dropped an F bomb at dinner tonight when W came on the radio talking nonsense. We had a nice discussion initiated by the girls about when or if that is appropriate.

Sweet. and not to pick nits, but isn't W came on the radio talking nonsense redundant? Or at least tautological?

BigV · 10-17-2006, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Griff

Pete dropped an F bomb at dinner tonight when W came on the radio talking nonsense. We had a nice discussion initiated by the girls about when or if that is appropriate.

I'm so conflicted! Part of me wants to cheer, part of me wants to dissapate and waste that passion with the cold water of a teachable moment.

I know what I'm talking about. SonofV said he wanted to "ki11" 8ush the other night. Same conflict, but I did rise to the occasion and redirect his thoughts and language to more suitable forms, in this case the upcoming elections. You just can't say that, son.

BigV · 10-17-2006, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lhatcher

We had neighbors once who had 8-yearold twin boys and a 15-year old, who liked the F-word. So when I heard the twins using it in front of my 5-year old I pulled them aside and said "now I know you can remember not to say 'fuck' in front on your mom, right?" Their eyes got huge that an adult had used that word to them. But they nodded at me. So I continued.. "then I'm sure you can remember not to say 'fuck' in front of little kids. You're big boys, say that to yourselves all you want but little boys don't need to hear that word and you know it." That put a stop to it.

when said 5-year old said it within my hearing, probably around 15 as well (he's now 24) I said "Hey! I don't want to hear that. Say it to your friends all you want but you won't be saying it to me,understand?" and that put a stop to it. Of course he continued to say it I'm sure, but only with friends because I never heard it again. I'm not perfect but I think my kids respected me and my wish not to hear it. Of course I say it, but only to my friends.

Two lovely examples of children rising to meet high expectations. Bravo!

Welcome to the cellar, lhatcher. It's nice to have some more parents on board. Lord knows we could all use the mutual support.

Griff · 10-17-2006, 06:27 PM

nice job ratting out little v to the N5A V.

Clodfobble · 10-17-2006, 06:28 PM

Had an interesting experience with a friend of mine's kid the other day... this is a couple who curse occasionally in front of their (4 & 3 year old) children, on the understanding that they are "adult words" not for kids just like sodas are adult drinks that they're not allowed to have. At any rate, I said the word "butt" in front of the 3-year-old and she gasped, then whispered to me, "We're supposed to say heinie." Apparently I rate as one of the kids, to her.

SteveDallas · 10-17-2006, 07:58 PM

I'll never forget at dinner one night, Mrs. Dallas was sharing a tale of some acquaintance whose kid was at that stage where they repeat everything, and they got hold of a bad word. I said something to the effect of, "well, I have slipped a couple times, but at least I've never said the really bad one in front of the kids." At this point little Miss Dallas, all of 7, piped up. "You mean the one that starts with F?"

After the deafening silence that followed, I took a stroll out to the living room with her to ask her what bad "f" words she had heard. (We didn't want her younger brother to pick up anything new.) At this point, of course, she was all wide-eyed goody-twoshoe innocence. "Bad words that start with F? You must have misunderstood me, Dad. I don't know anything about any bad words."

footfootfoot · 10-17-2006, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Griff

nice job ratting out little v to the N5A V.

footfootfoot · 10-17-2006, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Had an interesting experience with a friend of mine's kid the other day... this is a couple who curse occasionally in front of their (4 & 3 year old) children, on the understanding that they are "adult words" not for kids just like sodas are adult drinks that they're not allowed to have. At any rate, I said the word "butt" in front of the 3-year-old and she gasped, then whispered to me, "We're supposed to say heinie." Apparently I rate as one of the kids, to her.

Clod, I'd card you if you tried to buy beer from me. All that tough talk and swagger can't fool the little ones, you're young at heart!

10-04-2006, 10:14 AM	#16
LabRat twatfaced two legged bumhole Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 3,143	We did the adult/kid word explaination for why we could but the kid couldn't use swear words. We also however let her punish us by slapping our hand if we let one slip and she caught it. (Much cuter when she was 2.5 and a lot weaker...now she's almost 4 and leaves a mark when she whacks us) If she did say a swear word, usually an eyebrow with 'the look' was enough, but if we had to slap her hand (in actuality, barely a slap, never made it even pink) she'd cry so hard, you think we cut out her tongue. She recently said 'Oh cricket' in frustration, and now that has become the explative of choice in our house. Edited to add: I don't believe she has ever said any sear words out of the house. It appears this method worked for us, but out kid is a girl, and there are some definite differences between the sexes. Good luck. Let us know how it turns out! __________________ Strength does not come from how much weight you can lift, or how many miles you can run. It comes from knowing that you set a goal, and rose to the challenge. Strength comes from within. Last edited by LabRat; 10-04-2006 at 10:17 AM.

10-04-2006, 11:22 AM	#18
Stormieweather Wearing her bitch boots Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Floriduh Posts: 1,181	I don't swear often in front of my kids, but I can sound like a sailor . When they were little, I told them those words were grown up words (bad words) and not to say them. I never use swear words in everyday conversation so the kids learned that when mom said them, she was REALLY upset. They did go through a stage of saying these no-no words and I just reminded them not to say that. My then 4 yr old son was sent home from pre-school once for singing, "We will, we will fuck you!" to the tune of 'We Will Rock You', by Queen. :p Around age 12, I began teaching them that using bad words for shock value did nothing to reinforce their arguement, but rather was a rather weak method of trying to make it look like you had a more viable position than you did in your arguement/statement. I taught them that someone who truly had a great arguement would never need to use swear words to convince his opponent. The adult kids fell into swearing (probably for shock value) about age 16 or so. I allowed it with the boundary that they not use those words towards family members (disrespectful and abusive). There were very few slip ups and the swearing tapered off as they matured. Most importantly, teach by example. I very rarely swore and would make a big production gasp when someone would swear in a song or on TV. Then I'd look at the kids and in a conspiratorial whisper say, "We don't say that word do we?". They'd want to be part of the 'we' that didn't say swear words, so they'd answer back..."NOPE! Thats a swear word!". Stormie __________________ "First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." - Mahatma Gandhi

10-04-2006, 11:52 AM	#19
mrnoodle bent Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: under the weather Posts: 2,656	My parents absolutely hate swearing. You might elicit a "hell" or "b-i-t-c-h" (spelled out, of course) from my mom, and the occasional "horse's ass" from my dad, but that's it. So it was funny last night when some salesperson called their house and I answered the phone. "Hello?" "Yes, this is Lindsay from the Coloradoan (our local newsrag), how are YOU this evening?" "Terrible, people keep interrupting our dinner to sell us shit." My mom jumped like she had stepped on a rattler. I should do that more often. __________________ Sìn a nall na cuaranan sin. -- Cha mhór is fheairrde thu iad, tha iad coltach ri cat air a dhathadh

10-04-2006, 11:53 AM	#20
footfootfoot To shreds, you say? Join Date: Aug 2004 Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet! Posts: 18,449	Wow. A lot of opinions and advice. Just to set the record straight, we don't swear in front of the inchling, or any kids for that matter. We've managed to clean it up, though SWMBO admitted she let the f word slip the other week. It is quite possible that he heard it then or at any one of a hundred times he's been at the playground or walking along the street. Unlike when I was growing up, you couldn't hear long streams of profanity used adjectivally as you walked down the street coming form the mouths of random people having loud conversations. People didn't really do that on Main St. I hesitate to mention it, because I don't think he really knows it's a word and I'm not sure he'd get or remember a lecture. i.e. he needs to be reminded to look both ways before he crosses the street every single time we cross the street. I'm not sure they really remember things all that much without constant reinforcement. So would a lecture now be premature? Might I wait and see if he gets tired of saying it. (So far not at all today) I think spexx's advice to sing along and change the consonant may work best at this point, he is still very much imitating and he will probably decide that he ahd heard it wrong and it is buck buck buck. I'll keep you posted. __________________ The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs

10-17-2006, 04:22 PM	#21
lhatcher Go, you might meet someone Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 77	We had neighbors once who had 8-yearold twin boys and a 15-year old, who liked the F-word. So when I heard the twins using it in front of my 5-year old I pulled them aside and said "now I know you can remember not to say 'fuck' in front on your mom, right?" Their eyes got huge that an adult had used that word to them. But they nodded at me. So I continued.. "then I'm sure you can remember not to say 'fuck' in front of little kids. You're big boys, say that to yourselves all you want but little boys don't need to hear that word and you know it." That put a stop to it. when said 5-year old said it within my hearing, probably around 15 as well (he's now 24) I said "Hey! I don't want to hear that. Say it to your friends all you want but you won't be saying it to me,understand?" and that put a stop to it. Of course he continued to say it I'm sure, but only with friends because I never heard it again. I'm not perfect but I think my kids respected me and my wish not to hear it. Of course I say it, but only to my friends. __________________ Okay it's just me.. be nice, okay?

10-04-2006, 10:33 AM	#17
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	We basically stopped swearing when we had kids. It was hard.

10-17-2006, 05:43 PM	#22
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	Pete dropped an F bomb at dinner tonight when W came on the radio talking nonsense. We had a nice discussion initiated by the girls about when or if that is appropriate. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

10-17-2006, 06:27 PM	#26
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	nice job ratting out little v to the N5A V. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

10-17-2006, 06:28 PM	#27
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	Had an interesting experience with a friend of mine's kid the other day... this is a couple who curse occasionally in front of their (4 & 3 year old) children, on the understanding that they are "adult words" not for kids just like sodas are adult drinks that they're not allowed to have. At any rate, I said the word "butt" in front of the 3-year-old and she gasped, then whispered to me, "We're supposed to say heinie." Apparently I rate as one of the kids, to her.

10-17-2006, 07:58 PM	#28
SteveDallas Your Bartender Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Philly Burbs, PA Posts: 7,651	I'll never forget at dinner one night, Mrs. Dallas was sharing a tale of some acquaintance whose kid was at that stage where they repeat everything, and they got hold of a bad word. I said something to the effect of, "well, I have slipped a couple times, but at least I've never said the really bad one in front of the kids." At this point little Miss Dallas, all of 7, piped up. "You mean the one that starts with F?" After the deafening silence that followed, I took a stroll out to the living room with her to ask her what bad "f" words she had heard. (We didn't want her younger brother to pick up anything new.) At this point, of course, she was all wide-eyed goody-twoshoe innocence. "Bad words that start with F? You must have misunderstood me, Dad. I don't know anything about any bad words."

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