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Old 10-27-2009, 11:12 AM   #1
SamIam
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Very sorry to hear of your loss. Losing your mother is very hard. May you carry her in your heart, always.
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Old 10-30-2009, 08:47 AM   #2
Gravdigr
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My grandmother died six yrs ago this January. I still talk to her occasionally, sometimes it really feels like she's there. I believe she is.
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Old 11-01-2009, 08:27 PM   #3
Major Matt Mason
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(hugs)
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Old 10-27-2009, 11:00 AM   #4
Trilby
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:hugs and prayers: to you and yours, wolf. Bless you all. Take comfort in each other. peace.
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Old 10-27-2009, 11:16 AM   #5
bbro
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I am very sorry to hear about your loss wolf. My thoughts are with you and your family.
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Old 10-27-2009, 11:34 AM   #6
Clodfobble
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I'm so sorry for your loss, wolf.
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Old 10-27-2009, 11:57 AM   #7
capnhowdy
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Just saw this thread. Condolences from the capnhowdy camp.
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Old 10-27-2009, 12:05 PM   #8
wolf
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Thank you all so much.

I've been making a lot of calls this morning, still avoiding the calls to the momwolf's survivng siblings. She was the youngest of 9. One was stillborn, another died in infancy, and a third died in the influenza epidemic. She also had a sister who died in her teens of lukemia.

Several people have been kind of taken aback when I tell them, "No, there won't be a memorial service or a funeral. siswolf and I are doing things on our own."

I don't go into it further, since most of momwolf's friends since unclewolf and twinuncle wolf (momwolf was a fraternal twin) really won't understand why a Native American Shaman will be doing a releasing ceremony (So, in answer to the question, no Jazz, but there will probably be drumming and chanting).

One thing I learned this morning is that funeral directors will come to you, rather than making you come to them, which is good because the weather is appropriately miserable today.

He was very kind on the phone, but has already attempted to up-sell us. He should be here in half an hour or so.

We do need to figure out what sort of container we want her cremains in. I was looking at some of the options on the funeral home's website, and really am not sure. We don't want her in cardboard (too many possibilities to spill or lose her) and most of the actual urns are far too elaborate. I did get a weird laugh moment, because there was a pink cloisonné urn that was just WAY too Meet the Parents.
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Old 10-27-2009, 12:10 PM   #9
Juniper
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The funeral director didn't come to me. I had to drive clear across town.

I am so sorry, Wolf. I'm sure you're having all those mixed relief/grief/guilt feelings; been there done that. But you're much braver than I am. You did your absolute best for your mom, I'm sure she knew that, and I hope that brings you comfort.
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Old 10-27-2009, 12:26 PM   #10
morethanpretty
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I'm sorry to hear about momwolf. Peace to you and siswolf, it seems like y'all can work together on this which makes the process easier.
Do you have a friend who is a woodworker or a ceramics maker? If you can wait a bit, they might be able to make an appropriate container to your liking. I know my dad (woodworker) make the urn we used for my mom's biological dad and was a nice piece. Also affordable considering he had no money left and we weren't in the best position to pay for it all.
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Old 10-27-2009, 12:37 PM   #11
xoxoxoBruce
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Funeral parlors are thicker than ticks on a hound, around here, and competition is pretty strong. A friend, who recently buried his Mom told me, some had a price list, take it or leave it, but most would negotiate.

Choosing an urn, do pick something they would have liked, or something to suit your taste since you're the one that will be seeing it?
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Old 10-27-2009, 12:59 PM   #12
dmg1969
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I'm very sorry to hear of momwolf's passing. My condolences to you and your family.
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Old 10-27-2009, 02:23 PM   #13
limey
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Quote:
Originally Posted by wolf View Post
...Several people have been kind of taken aback when I tell them, "No, there won't be a memorial service or a funeral. siswolf and I are doing things on our own."

I don't go into it further, since most of momwolf's friends since unclewolf and twinuncle wolf (momwolf was a fraternal twin) really won't understand why a Native American Shaman will be doing a releasing ceremony ...
I found focussing on arranging my brother's funeral to reflect his personality (as far as we could) was very comforting, and meant that the service had meaning for everyone there.

Quote:
Originally Posted by morethanpretty View Post
... Do you have a friend who is a woodworker or a ceramics maker? If you can wait a bit, they might be able to make an appropriate container to your liking. ....
This seems like a really lovely idea if it could be done.
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Old 10-27-2009, 03:04 PM   #14
glatt
 
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I was sorry to see this thread's title just a moment ago. I really feel for you, wolf. You've been a very devoted daughter in these last few months leading up to this, and I'm sure even before that. You really took care of her and deserve accolades for that. I'm truly sorry for your loss.
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Old 10-27-2009, 03:15 PM   #15
Flint
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i am truley sorry for your lots
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