Corrupted Wish - Page 15

Shawnee123 · 07-26-2007, 10:23 AM

Genie, maybe. I don't know about evil.

Sorry DanaC. I posted right after you did. I couldn't come up with anything for a wish except part of a Stevie Wonder song, so fellow cellars please use DanaC's post for wish granting.

Uisge Beatha · 07-26-2007, 06:55 PM

Ah, variety is the spice of life. Your wish comes true and you are prepared for a whole new world of experiences. It looks like the sky's the limit, everything's coming up roses ...... until that freak accident at the HP printer. Mortified by the experience, you dash home from work and are promptly fired for your precipitous departure.

I wish someone would cook me some dinner.

DanaC · 07-26-2007, 07:05 PM

You lucky, lucky man, there's a woman who's willing to cook you dinner every night if you wish.....unfortunately the woman is Enid, the Townhall canteen cook. (one day I'll describe her culinery efforts in more detail).

I wish I had perfect skin.

Uisge Beatha · 07-27-2007, 06:52 PM

Oh, yes, that's a fine choice. We can take care of that right away.........There, it is magnificent! Your skin is breathtaking - smooth, supple alabaster. Helen of Troy would be envious, Aphrodite could not contain her jealousy, Guinevere would......ah, but I waste your time with such pedantic drivel. Allow me to proceed directly to the heart of the matter - you must step up onto this pedestal so that our technicians may ply their craft. Yes, your absolute beauty will be preserved for posterity, a museum piece frozen in time.

I wish it weren't so humid.

Sundae · 07-28-2007, 07:57 AM

It is no longer humid. New York is suddenly the most arid place in the world and you have to keep your mouth closed to prevent your tongue drying out. Your eyelids creak down over dry eyes, painfully taking the top layer of cells from your eyeballs every time. The moisture is leeched from your skin and it begins to crack and sores appear all over you. And no-one can grow lentils any more so on top of everything you're constipated.

I wish I had internet access 24/7

Uisge Beatha · 08-04-2007, 10:19 AM

Brilliant bit about the lentils, Sundae!

Sundae Girl? Sure, we remember her. Ah, she was a beloved Dwellar. Once. Nobody knows where she is, now. You see, she managed to get herself a state of the art broadband internet connection. It was fast and she was always connected, all week long. That's when it all started, the lure of the cyberwild. Poor SG found herself constantly drawn in new directions and began surfing farther and farther. She learned so much and saw such marvelous things that she was ever-enthralled. She kept going and we lost touch. Now The Cellar has no more Sundae.

I wish I didn't smell that wretched cologne in which my coworker seems to bathe.

Spexxvet · 08-04-2007, 11:25 AM

Your coworker stops using cologne. In fact he stops using deodorant and stops bathing, too. And he has taken to rolling in really smelling things, the way a dog does. Now that's what you smell all day at work.

I wish the office manager wasn't around anymore.

Griff · 08-04-2007, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spexxvet

I wish the office manager wasn't around anymore.

I've taken care of your office manager. Too bad you've got motive.

I wish Smoothmoniker would come home to the Cellar.

lookout123 · 02-22-2008, 10:07 AM

Winter has ended. forever. No more snow, no more sleet, no more freezing nights. Unfortunately we now have to hear Al Gore yelling "I was right! I was right! I was right!" everytime we turn on the tv.

I wish I wasn't sick.

paddlegal · 02-22-2008, 01:16 PM

KaPow! You die of your illness.

But there is no hereafter and you face endless oblivion.

I wish there was no evil in the world.

lookout123 · 02-22-2008, 01:18 PM

Zap! There is no evil in the world. Unfortunately you aren't here to enjoy the pristine planet without a single human to be found.

I wish I had more time to enjoy my boys.

smoothmoniker · 02-23-2008, 07:07 PM

You gain an extra 5 minutes to enjoy your boys as the police mistakenly go to the wrong house first.

I wish I could have a rational conversation with people about politics.

Griff · 02-24-2008, 06:39 AM

You have dozens of trenchant conversations each day for the rest of your life. Welcome to the nuthouse.

I wish I could tell which Presidential candidate would be good for the country.

Clodfobble · 02-24-2008, 10:40 AM

You know with absolute prescient certainty which candidate will do the best job.
They lose.

I wish I could sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time.

smoothmoniker · 02-24-2008, 11:59 AM

You sleep longer, much longer, and wake up 20 years later with Prince Charming's tongue in your mouth.

I wish I could figure out which process is flooding the swap space on my Debian server.

07-26-2007, 10:23 AM	#1
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	Genie, maybe. I don't know about evil. Sorry DanaC. I posted right after you did. I couldn't come up with anything for a wish except part of a Stevie Wonder song, so fellow cellars please use DanaC's post for wish granting. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

07-28-2007, 07:57 AM	#5
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	It is no longer humid. New York is suddenly the most arid place in the world and you have to keep your mouth closed to prevent your tongue drying out. Your eyelids creak down over dry eyes, painfully taking the top layer of cells from your eyeballs every time. The moisture is leeched from your skin and it begins to crack and sores appear all over you. And no-one can grow lentils any more so on top of everything you're constipated. I wish I had internet access 24/7 __________________ Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac

08-04-2007, 11:25 AM	#7
Spexxvet Makes some feel uncomfortable Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 10,346	Your coworker stops using cologne. In fact he stops using deodorant and stops bathing, too. And he has taken to rolling in really smelling things, the way a dog does. Now that's what you smell all day at work. I wish the office manager wasn't around anymore. __________________ "I'm certainly free, nay compelled, to spread the gospel of Spex. " - xoxoxoBruce

02-22-2008, 10:07 AM	#9
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	Winter has ended. forever. No more snow, no more sleet, no more freezing nights. Unfortunately we now have to hear Al Gore yelling "I was right! I was right! I was right!" everytime we turn on the tv. I wish I wasn't sick. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

02-22-2008, 01:16 PM	#10
paddlegal Abhorrent Aberrant Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: Central Arkansas Posts: 27	Sick KaPow! You die of your illness. But there is no hereafter and you face endless oblivion. I wish there was no evil in the world. __________________ Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

07-26-2007, 06:55 PM	#2
Uisge Beatha Lecturer Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 945	Ah, variety is the spice of life. Your wish comes true and you are prepared for a whole new world of experiences. It looks like the sky's the limit, everything's coming up roses ...... until that freak accident at the HP printer. Mortified by the experience, you dash home from work and are promptly fired for your precipitous departure. I wish someone would cook me some dinner.

07-26-2007, 07:05 PM	#3
DanaC We have to go back, Kate! Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Yorkshire Posts: 25,964	You lucky, lucky man, there's a woman who's willing to cook you dinner every night if you wish.....unfortunately the woman is Enid, the Townhall canteen cook. (one day I'll describe her culinery efforts in more detail). I wish I had perfect skin.

07-27-2007, 06:52 PM	#4
Uisge Beatha Lecturer Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 945	Oh, yes, that's a fine choice. We can take care of that right away.........There, it is magnificent! Your skin is breathtaking - smooth, supple alabaster. Helen of Troy would be envious, Aphrodite could not contain her jealousy, Guinevere would......ah, but I waste your time with such pedantic drivel. Allow me to proceed directly to the heart of the matter - you must step up onto this pedestal so that our technicians may ply their craft. Yes, your absolute beauty will be preserved for posterity, a museum piece frozen in time. I wish it weren't so humid.

08-04-2007, 10:19 AM	#6
Uisge Beatha Lecturer Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 945	Brilliant bit about the lentils, Sundae! Sundae Girl? Sure, we remember her. Ah, she was a beloved Dwellar. Once. Nobody knows where she is, now. You see, she managed to get herself a state of the art broadband internet connection. It was fast and she was always connected, all week long. That's when it all started, the lure of the cyberwild. Poor SG found herself constantly drawn in new directions and began surfing farther and farther. She learned so much and saw such marvelous things that she was ever-enthralled. She kept going and we lost touch. Now The Cellar has no more Sundae. I wish I didn't smell that wretched cologne in which my coworker seems to bathe.

02-22-2008, 01:18 PM	#11
lookout123 changed his status to single Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Right behind you. No, the other side. Posts: 10,308	Zap! There is no evil in the world. Unfortunately you aren't here to enjoy the pristine planet without a single human to be found. I wish I had more time to enjoy my boys. __________________ Getting knocked down is no sin, it's not getting back up that's the sin

02-23-2008, 07:07 PM	#12
smoothmoniker to live and die in LA Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,090	You gain an extra 5 minutes to enjoy your boys as the police mistakenly go to the wrong house first. I wish I could have a rational conversation with people about politics. __________________ to live and die in LA

02-24-2008, 06:39 AM	#13
Griff still says videotape Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 26,813	You have dozens of trenchant conversations each day for the rest of your life. Welcome to the nuthouse. I wish I could tell which Presidential candidate would be good for the country. __________________ If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis

02-24-2008, 10:40 AM	#14
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	You know with absolute prescient certainty which candidate will do the best job. They lose. I wish I could sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time.

02-24-2008, 11:59 AM	#15
smoothmoniker to live and die in LA Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Los Angeles Posts: 2,090	You sleep longer, much longer, and wake up 20 years later with Prince Charming's tongue in your mouth. I wish I could figure out which process is flooding the swap space on my Debian server. __________________ to live and die in LA

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