The 24 hour engagement. - Page 15

Clodfobble · 05-29-2009, 01:10 PM

I don't personally think there's anyone else. I think she's just a coward. She knows it's over. But she's not willing to just say that. She's doing that stupid thing where you just wait and maybe you'll feel differently in the morning... except no one ever does. But if she just keeps waiting, maybe you'll get tired of bugging her, and then she won't have to be the bad guy, right?

I'm really sorry things have worked out the way they have, disenchanted. But seriously, listen to what every single person is telling you at this point: it's over. And even if she did come crawling back at some point, you need to have the ability to recognize that this is not, nor will it ever be, the makings of a marriage. Not. At. All. And Beestie's right--you will look back on this when you really meet the right girl and say, "Holy hell, why was it so hard to see what a bad idea that was at the time? I'm so glad I got out of that one."

Undertoad · 05-29-2009, 01:25 PM

No matter what her actual intentions are, she's a game player. Surprise me, don't surprise me. I would like to be with you, oh I never want to be with you again, oh maybe if you just wait longer. This is not the stuff of healthy relationships.

disenchanted · 05-29-2009, 07:44 PM

at this point, I'm not looking to take heroic measures to save the relationship. I think it's got doom-stank all over it.

But one conversation. Maybe get a few questions answered so they don't have to haunt me, you know?

Granted, I'm oscillating pretty rapidly between wanting clarity and closure, so tomorrow may bring a different opinion.

Oh, and Undertoad, I work with a bunch of engineers, if any of them show up in a sun dress, I'd be running away.

monster · 05-29-2009, 07:49 PM

don't bother asking her the questions, here are the answers:

It's not you it's me, I just want something more, something.... else
the time just isn't right for us
I need more time to find myself
no of course there isn't anyone else
i wasn't lying when i said i loved you it's just that....oh i don't know
this is exactly the problem, you just won't give me enough space

here, have a beer and stop being so damn sexist

disenchanted · 05-29-2009, 07:55 PM

monster: you missed "It's not that I don't love you, it's just that I'm not in love with you."

monster · 05-29-2009, 08:22 PM

i wasn't sure if you were ready for that one...

here, have another beer. it's OK, it's Bud, I'm not trying to get you drunk

Undertoad · 05-30-2009, 01:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by disenchanted

Oh, and Undertoad, I work with a bunch of engineers, if any of them show up in a sun dress, I'd be running away.

Yikes! OK trust me on this, eat lunch with the marketing folks from time to time. Marketing chicks know about the importance of quality packaging!

limey · 05-30-2009, 03:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by disenchanted

monster: you missed "It's not that I don't love you, it's just that I'm not in love with you."

That's the one the bastardexfiance[spit - ding!] used on me.

Shawnee123 · 05-30-2009, 01:08 PM

I believe in honesty, but I also believe in trying to preserve someone's feelings. Having said that, what does everyone think is a GOOD way to approach blowing someone off? I tried to let a guy down easy once and he was on his knees bawling and begging and I thought "Um, this is part of WHY..."

You can't really say:

1) When you walk into the room, I become very disappointed
2) When you kiss me, I feel I might heave
3) If I hear you say "I seen him/her at the store" one more time I might kill you
4) Sometimes I visibly roll my eyes when the phone rings and I see it's you

Brutal honesty is always best, but there's a fine line between tact and honesty sometimes. Give the girl a break. I would say, however, that "she's just not that into you."

I say this with my usual sarcasm drizzled over truth.

xoxoxoBruce · 05-30-2009, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnee123

I tried to let a guy down easy once and he was on his knees bawling and begging...

Aw c'mon, just once?

Shawnee123 · 05-30-2009, 01:15 PM

Pie · 05-30-2009, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Undertoad

Yikes! OK trust me on this, eat lunch with the marketing folks from time to time. Marketing chicks know about the importance of quality packaging!

At my last company, it was Finance or Business Development. Yee-haw!

xoxoxoBruce · 05-30-2009, 07:57 PM

Here is the solution.

ZenGum · 05-30-2009, 08:16 PM

Monster may well be both the funniest dwellar, and the wisest dwellar, all in one.

Hoof Hearted · 05-31-2009, 12:06 AM

My apologies if this has already been covered...I've only read page 1 and page 15. I'll be going back to read through pages 2-14, but it's gonna take a while to read everyone's replies and your responses.

Relationships at this stage (preparing for possibility of marriage) should NOT be so hard or require this much work, and if one person is having to do all of the 'work' and/or compromising...it isn't very much of a partnership, IMO.

Get your answers from her if you wish, but cut your losses and run. Myself, I wouldn't even give them the satisfaction of thinking I thought enough of them to even want to know 'why'. It is enough if *I* know it is done. I don't need to give them an opportunity to think they had me so wrapped up in them that I had to keep coming back for 'answers' I already knew.

Best of luck,
hh

05-29-2009, 01:10 PM	#211
Clodfobble UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Austin, TX Posts: 20,012	I don't personally think there's anyone else. I think she's just a coward. She knows it's over. But she's not willing to just say that. She's doing that stupid thing where you just wait and maybe you'll feel differently in the morning... except no one ever does. But if she just keeps waiting, maybe you'll get tired of bugging her, and then she won't have to be the bad guy, right? I'm really sorry things have worked out the way they have, disenchanted. But seriously, listen to what every single person is telling you at this point: it's over. And even if she did come crawling back at some point, you need to have the ability to recognize that this is not, nor will it ever be, the makings of a marriage. Not. At. All. And Beestie's right--you will look back on this when you really meet the right girl and say, "Holy hell, why was it so hard to see what a bad idea that was at the time? I'm so glad I got out of that one." __________________ My book My other book My spirit animal

05-29-2009, 07:49 PM	#214
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	don't bother asking her the questions, here are the answers: It's not you it's me, I just want something more, something.... else the time just isn't right for us I need more time to find myself no of course there isn't anyone else i wasn't lying when i said i loved you it's just that....oh i don't know this is exactly the problem, you just won't give me enough space here, have a beer and stop being so damn sexist __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

05-29-2009, 08:22 PM	#216
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	i wasn't sure if you were ready for that one... here, have another beer. it's OK, it's Bud, I'm not trying to get you drunk __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

05-30-2009, 01:08 PM	#219
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	I believe in honesty, but I also believe in trying to preserve someone's feelings. Having said that, what does everyone think is a GOOD way to approach blowing someone off? I tried to let a guy down easy once and he was on his knees bawling and begging and I thought "Um, this is part of WHY..." You can't really say: 1) When you walk into the room, I become very disappointed 2) When you kiss me, I feel I might heave 3) If I hear you say "I seen him/her at the store" one more time I might kill you 4) Sometimes I visibly roll my eyes when the phone rings and I see it's you Brutal honesty is always best, but there's a fine line between tact and honesty sometimes. Give the girl a break. I would say, however, that "she's just not that into you." I say this with my usual sarcasm drizzled over truth. __________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

05-30-2009, 01:15 PM	#221
Shawnee123 Why, you're a regular Alfred E Einstein, ain't ya? Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 21,206	__________________ A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones who need the advice. --Bill Cosby

05-29-2009, 01:25 PM	#212
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	No matter what her actual intentions are, she's a game player. Surprise me, don't surprise me. I would like to be with you, oh I never want to be with you again, oh maybe if you just wait longer. This is not the stuff of healthy relationships.

05-29-2009, 07:44 PM	#213
disenchanted Resident President Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 81	at this point, I'm not looking to take heroic measures to save the relationship. I think it's got doom-stank all over it. But one conversation. Maybe get a few questions answered so they don't have to haunt me, you know? Granted, I'm oscillating pretty rapidly between wanting clarity and closure, so tomorrow may bring a different opinion. Oh, and Undertoad, I work with a bunch of engineers, if any of them show up in a sun dress, I'd be running away.

05-29-2009, 07:55 PM	#215
disenchanted Resident President Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 81	monster: you missed "It's not that I don't love you, it's just that I'm not in love with you."

05-30-2009, 07:57 PM	#223
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Here is the solution. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

05-30-2009, 08:16 PM	#224
ZenGum Doctor Wtf Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Badelaide, Baustralia Posts: 12,861	Monster may well be both the funniest dwellar, and the wisest dwellar, all in one. __________________ Shut up and hug. MoreThanPretty, Nov 5, 2008. Just because I'm nominally polite, does not make me a pussy. Sundae Girl.

05-31-2009, 12:06 AM	#225
Hoof Hearted ...you smell something? Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Monroe, GA Posts: 420	My apologies if this has already been covered...I've only read page 1 and page 15. I'll be going back to read through pages 2-14, but it's gonna take a while to read everyone's replies and your responses. Relationships at this stage (preparing for possibility of marriage) should NOT be so hard or require this much work, and if one person is having to do all of the 'work' and/or compromising...it isn't very much of a partnership, IMO. Get your answers from her if you wish, but cut your losses and run. Myself, I wouldn't even give them the satisfaction of thinking I thought enough of them to even want to know 'why'. It is enough if I know it is done. I don't need to give them an opportunity to think they had me so wrapped up in them that I had to keep coming back for 'answers' I already knew. Best of luck, hh __________________ I have the ability of single-minded determination and focu...Hey, look! A horse!

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