Tales from the Nuthouse: Lest You Think I have a Really Suck Job - Page 14

plthijinx · 01-06-2011, 08:45 PM

maybe they want to bite the judge in the ass one tooth at a time....

Pete Zicato · 01-07-2011, 10:08 AM

Did he promise to tell the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?

Shawnee123 · 01-07-2011, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pete Zicato

Did he promise to tell the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth?

FTW!

wolf · 01-21-2011, 01:46 PM

There is this doctor who has been with us for about a year. He's young. He's a resident. He's hungry. And so he moonlights.

Like many psychiatric residents, he's foreign.

Pakistani Muslim.

He apologized during Ramadan for being irritable because he had not yet broken his fast, so I know he's observant. We also have a Pakistani Muslim apostate.

But anyway.

Pakistani Muslim doc was engaging in some conversation with the ambulance and crisis staff. He was asking the ambulance guys whether they were married, one of the fellows said no, and asked if the doc knew any rich doctors.

Later, the doctor and I were talking, and he said, "So, this Ambulanceboi, he is not married?"

"No," I said carefully, "but I think he is in a long term relationship."

He asked a few other questions that I deftly avoided answering.

Why was I so circumspect?

Because Ambulanceboi is as gay as a three-dollar bill, and I didn't think I should be the one to out him to the Muslim.

Trilby · 01-21-2011, 02:14 PM

"There are no gay Muslims,"

I think that's the company line...

wolf · 02-10-2011, 10:08 AM

nut: This phone isn't working!! I need to call 911 to have the police come and rescue me! I am being held prisoner!!

wolf (to ASL interpreter team): Is it inappropriate to remind her that she is deaf, the phone works just fine, and the police will not come and rescue her?

monster · 02-10-2011, 04:05 PM

hahaha. Who needs sitcoms?

plthijinx · 02-11-2011, 01:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monster

hahaha. Who needs sitcoms?

right, wolf has the proverbial cool job. like the go kart track only more intensified. we get what i like to call 85's there all the time. aka...slow people. but the shit wolf puts up with? lmao....honey you got my vote in any category!

wolf · 02-11-2011, 12:06 PM

nut: For my wellness recovery action plan, I need to have my medications, my therapy, and a cigarette.

wolf: The doctor has put your medication orders in the computer, you'll see your therapist tomorrow, and you are here because you set yourself on fire. You can't smoke.

sexobon · 02-11-2011, 07:51 PM

Tell Doc to add a diuretic to the medication orders so if the patient sets [him]self on fire again he can put [him]self out.

plthijinx · 02-14-2011, 01:13 AM

wolf, was going to start this in it's own thread but thought perhaps it should go here because the "patient" was right up your alley back in december. the end result is not good.

a friend and ex-coworker at the tracks' life long friend killed himself a few days ago. in fact said coworker was up at work with dr. froth and i when he got the phone call that they'd found him. only then we didn't know how he killed himself. i knew the guy as well. ok, met him a few times but that still counts. seemed like a decent person. so ex-coworker was talking about how "john doe", i will call him, tried to commit suicide just before xmas by hanging himself. he was committed to do this mind you. his brother just happened to show up and save him. dude was hanging and purple. he'd taken pills and was almost to the afterlife. well, they committed him to the psychiatric ward and a few weeks later let him out. i guess he told them what they wanted to hear and did the things they wanted him to do (wolf can you help me understand this?) and his depression continued. so the other day john's family is calling ex-coworker telling him they cannot find him. he'd left his house, lights on, tv on, keys home, phone left behind too. tonight while closing up the track dr. froth told me what happened. dude jumped in front of a train of all things in the woodlands which is a suburb in north houston. i feel horrible for the family of john and ex-coworker. hell they'd been friends for 30 years. some of you may remember my rant about 6 years ago when a great friend and pilot committed suicide. i know what ex-coworker is going through. he's pretty stout and can handle this. (it's really deeper than what i'm letting onto here from a separate incident that happened back in december don't know much about it except someone else had said "see ya" as well) i've been very depressed before, like last november for example but i could never do that. step in front of a train? wow. i dunno. that's pretty heavy. like i said he was an acquaintance so it doesn't hit me as hard as a good friend would. just makes me say "damn".

plthijinx · 02-14-2011, 02:15 AM

as an afterthought on my previous post i'm wondering wolf....how can you tell or can you tell the difference from someone who is calling out for help and someone who is serious? when my great friend mike committed suicide i had no idea he was serious. hm. got caught up in rereading that thread. anyway....thoughts wolf?

wolf · 03-09-2011, 01:15 PM

Sorry not to have responded to this sooner ... often people with real suicidal intent don't "look" suicidal. They are calm, they are even sometimes happy. They have what they see as the solution to all of their problems. I have worked with a lot of genuinely suicidal people and a bunch more who know that they have to say the right things to get hospitalized, including the crack-a-cidal, the heroin-a-cidal, the jail-a-cidal, and the homless-sidal. We usually don't hear from the ones who complete suicide.

wolf · 03-23-2011, 07:37 PM

Okay, maybe not "ever," but at least tonight.

I was in the back room (ambulance hangout) using the nuke-o-matic and heard a call being dispatched on the scanner.

DISPATCHER: See the woman, 123 Juniper, report of demons in the basement.

COP: repeat. (this is cop for WTF did you just say? You can't have actually said "demons in the basement.")

DISPATCHER: See the woman, 123 Juniper, report of demons in the basement.

COP: Demons?

DISPATCHER: Yes, demons. She is afraid of the demons in the basement and will meet you on her front porch.

COP: I'll take my garlic and silver bullets.

Now, of course, garlic and silver bullets won't do much for demons, but at least he's trying. Could be he picked the right tool for the job, woman might not have demons in the basement.

(and yes, I already thought of that. My money is on bats in the belfry)

Pete Zicato · 03-23-2011, 08:50 PM

Cop needs to stop right now and call in Harry Dresden.

01-06-2011, 08:45 PM	#196
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	maybe they want to bite the judge in the ass one tooth at a time.... __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

01-07-2011, 10:08 AM	#197
Pete Zicato Turns out my CRS is a symptom of TMB. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Chicago suburbs Posts: 2,916	Did he promise to tell the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth? __________________ Talk nerdy to me.

01-21-2011, 01:46 PM	#199
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	There is this doctor who has been with us for about a year. He's young. He's a resident. He's hungry. And so he moonlights. Like many psychiatric residents, he's foreign. Pakistani Muslim. He apologized during Ramadan for being irritable because he had not yet broken his fast, so I know he's observant. We also have a Pakistani Muslim apostate. But anyway. Pakistani Muslim doc was engaging in some conversation with the ambulance and crisis staff. He was asking the ambulance guys whether they were married, one of the fellows said no, and asked if the doc knew any rich doctors. Later, the doctor and I were talking, and he said, "So, this Ambulanceboi, he is not married?" "No," I said carefully, "but I think he is in a long term relationship." He asked a few other questions that I deftly avoided answering. Why was I so circumspect? Because Ambulanceboi is as gay as a three-dollar bill, and I didn't think I should be the one to out him to the Muslim. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

01-21-2011, 02:14 PM	#200
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	"There are no gay Muslims," I think that's the company line... __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

02-10-2011, 10:08 AM	#201
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	nut: This phone isn't working!! I need to call 911 to have the police come and rescue me! I am being held prisoner!! wolf (to ASL interpreter team): Is it inappropriate to remind her that she is deaf, the phone works just fine, and the police will not come and rescue her? __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

02-10-2011, 04:05 PM	#202
monster I hear them call the tide Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Perpetual Chaos Posts: 30,852	hahaha. Who needs sitcoms? __________________ The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity Amelia Earhart

02-11-2011, 12:06 PM	#204
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	nut: For my wellness recovery action plan, I need to have my medications, my therapy, and a cigarette. wolf: The doctor has put your medication orders in the computer, you'll see your therapist tomorrow, and you are here because you set yourself on fire. You can't smoke. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

02-11-2011, 07:51 PM	#205
sexobon I love it when a plan comes together. Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 9,793	Tell Doc to add a diuretic to the medication orders so if the patient sets [him]self on fire again he can put [him]self out.

02-14-2011, 01:13 AM	#206
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	wolf, was going to start this in it's own thread but thought perhaps it should go here because the "patient" was right up your alley back in december. the end result is not good. a friend and ex-coworker at the tracks' life long friend killed himself a few days ago. in fact said coworker was up at work with dr. froth and i when he got the phone call that they'd found him. only then we didn't know how he killed himself. i knew the guy as well. ok, met him a few times but that still counts. seemed like a decent person. so ex-coworker was talking about how "john doe", i will call him, tried to commit suicide just before xmas by hanging himself. he was committed to do this mind you. his brother just happened to show up and save him. dude was hanging and purple. he'd taken pills and was almost to the afterlife. well, they committed him to the psychiatric ward and a few weeks later let him out. i guess he told them what they wanted to hear and did the things they wanted him to do (wolf can you help me understand this?) and his depression continued. so the other day john's family is calling ex-coworker telling him they cannot find him. he'd left his house, lights on, tv on, keys home, phone left behind too. tonight while closing up the track dr. froth told me what happened. dude jumped in front of a train of all things in the woodlands which is a suburb in north houston. i feel horrible for the family of john and ex-coworker. hell they'd been friends for 30 years. some of you may remember my rant about 6 years ago when a great friend and pilot committed suicide. i know what ex-coworker is going through. he's pretty stout and can handle this. (it's really deeper than what i'm letting onto here from a separate incident that happened back in december don't know much about it except someone else had said "see ya" as well) i've been very depressed before, like last november for example but i could never do that. step in front of a train? wow. i dunno. that's pretty heavy. like i said he was an acquaintance so it doesn't hit me as hard as a good friend would. just makes me say "damn". __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

02-14-2011, 02:15 AM	#207
plthijinx Master Dwellar Join Date: Aug 2003 Posts: 4,197	as an afterthought on my previous post i'm wondering wolf....how can you tell or can you tell the difference from someone who is calling out for help and someone who is serious? when my great friend mike committed suicide i had no idea he was serious. hm. got caught up in rereading that thread. anyway....thoughts wolf? __________________ For your dreams to come true, you must first have a dream.

03-09-2011, 01:15 PM	#208
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Sorry not to have responded to this sooner ... often people with real suicidal intent don't "look" suicidal. They are calm, they are even sometimes happy. They have what they see as the solution to all of their problems. I have worked with a lot of genuinely suicidal people and a bunch more who know that they have to say the right things to get hospitalized, including the crack-a-cidal, the heroin-a-cidal, the jail-a-cidal, and the homless-sidal. We usually don't hear from the ones who complete suicide. __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

03-23-2011, 07:37 PM	#209
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	Best Dispatch Call EVER. Okay, maybe not "ever," but at least tonight. I was in the back room (ambulance hangout) using the nuke-o-matic and heard a call being dispatched on the scanner. DISPATCHER: See the woman, 123 Juniper, report of demons in the basement. COP: repeat. (this is cop for WTF did you just say? You can't have actually said "demons in the basement.") DISPATCHER: See the woman, 123 Juniper, report of demons in the basement. COP: Demons? DISPATCHER: Yes, demons. She is afraid of the demons in the basement and will meet you on her front porch. COP: I'll take my garlic and silver bullets. Now, of course, garlic and silver bullets won't do much for demons, but at least he's trying. Could be he picked the right tool for the job, woman might not have demons in the basement. (and yes, I already thought of that. My money is on bats in the belfry) __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

03-23-2011, 08:50 PM	#210
Pete Zicato Turns out my CRS is a symptom of TMB. Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Chicago suburbs Posts: 2,916	Cop needs to stop right now and call in Harry Dresden. __________________ Talk nerdy to me.

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