Tasteless Jokes - Page 12

j03L10T · 12-17-2002, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by wolf
1. I thought we were done apologizing.

2. j03, I have absolutely no clue what you're apologizing for. (I thought the viagra joke was funny ...)

1. Sorry again. I love making up.

2. Sure wish I could take full credit for that one, caught it on the Letterman show one night long ago.

j03L10T · 12-18-2002, 01:37 PM

Two guys go into a not so very well lit tavern of midevil design. "Bartender", the first one shouts into the darkness. No reply. Once again the first one shouts out for a drink and the bartender doesn't seem to notice. Then the second one says "he's deaf, don't you get it already?". The first one says to the second one, "you are shitting me, right?". "I am absolutely not" says number two and adds "not only that but the moron can't see so the drinks are absolutely on the house and FREE of charge". -Something a little tiny and ignorant monkey once told me.
AHAHAHH.

Good night.

That Guy · 12-18-2002, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by j03L10T
Two guys go into a not so very well litten tavern of midevil design. "Bartender", the first one shouts into the darkness. No reply. Once again the first one shouts out for a drink and the bartender doesn't seem to notice. Then the second one says "he's deaf, don't you get it already?". The first one says to the second one, "you are shitting me, right?". "I am absolutely not" says number two and adds "not only that but the moron can't see so the drinks are absolutely on the house and FREE of charge". -Something a little tiny and ignorant monkey once told me.
AHAHAHH.

Good night.

wtf?

j03L10T · 12-18-2002, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by blowmeetheclown
wtf?

Two wrongs don't make a right but inevitably, everyone pays for what they do. Jacob's ladder, according to theory you make your own hell worse than it ever had to be by misleading others into causing others to suffer much harder than they ever really should have. It's just a joke. Get it?

perth · 12-18-2002, 01:54 PM

seems like a lot of thinking. not sure its funny even then. but i did like the viagra one.

~james

j03L10T · 12-18-2002, 02:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by perth
seems like a lot of thinking. not sure its funny even then. but i did like the viagra one.

~james

Yeah, it took massive amounts of thought considering that I did not write the track "little dolls", but was handed to me on paper once for me to sing. The guy who lip synced it a few times on stage did not write it so yeah- aspirin is a very welcome element in this overly knowledgeable reality at present moment.
-the little doll is YOU? I just dunno and thank heavens for the ever present reality of voice altering headgear during orthodontics (as well as the original vocal recordings of the first few solo abums). I wrote and sang the past three solo albums in 1984, with merely an upper retainer firmly in position.

j03L10T · 12-18-2002, 02:25 PM

I must be the devil since the southern baptists say so, right? Although I volunteered to a david bowie looking mother fucker, I don't recall volunteering to be the 'devil', ever. Don't ever ask me to go to church with you, or why I ever dared jesus to 'come back', after the life of torment I have lived. Mostly in part and way shape and form of a most painful and undetected upon birth, defect. Don't try to define me, I will only embarass you and without at all meaning to. None of you ever knew what you were purposely shitting on through your ignorantely worded euphorisms and immature and not so well informed mis-actions.

But I still maintain in my own usual and hopeless (to you) course of merely wishfull thnking that I might just be able to overlook your own thoughtless ways when it is YOUR turn to have to pretend to be just totally stupid just to insure that everything remains the way you think it should be. If you want to know the answer, whatever you do- don't ask me.

99 44/100% pure · 12-18-2002, 06:30 PM

OK, this one's better in person . . . but here goes:

Joe Sixpack is nursing a brew on a barstool next to some pencil-necked French guy. Pierre, drinking a Mai Tai, periodically (and subtly) sniffs his finger and murmurs to himself "Aaah, Fifi." After he does this a few times, Joe asks Pierre's what's up with the finger-thing?

"Oh, mon ami, I am sorry to disturb you, but I was just with my girlfriend, Fifi, and her lovely scent still lingers on my finger."

Joe says, "Yeah, I know whatcha mean," takes a huge snort of his arm, from the shoulder down to the fingertips and blurts out "Myrtle!"

New to the Cellar but having fun watching the antics. I'm not so sure I should get too close to some of the cages though -- you know what they say about the Jaguars; when they turn their backs to you and lift their tails, it's time to run!

99 44/100% pure

elSicomoro · 12-18-2002, 06:35 PM

Jag, put your tail down and turn around...good boy.

slang · 12-18-2002, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by 99 44/100% pure
Joe says, "Yeah, I know whatcha mean," takes a huge snort of his arm, from the shoulder down to the fingertips and blurts out "Myrtle".

Gee. Myrtle's purfume must have been quite strong to leave the scent on his entire arm. He must have leaned up against her right after she applied it.

j03L10T · 12-19-2002, 10:36 AM

An ass that runs forever.

Can't believe my last post here yesterday. Shocking but most truthful, that's why I am leaving it there.

truly yours,

joe q. elliot

wanderer · 05-27-2010, 08:19 AM

On one fine night, Charlie Chaplin went to fancy dress competition............He won seventh prize!!!

j03L10T · 12-27-2002, 05:49 AM

This is the girl from the converted lesbian/crackhead/handyman joke, after she disposed of the body.

ladysycamore · 12-27-2002, 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Nic Name
Well, guys. It gives me some idea of the character of the individuals I've been spending my time with in other threads.
And I'm very disappointed. This thread is not just childish. It's hateful.

Don't know if you are still posting here, but how so? Please explain.

Quote:

It reflects badly on any community that would tolerate it without speaking out against it.

Ok, so anyone not speaking out against "tasteless jokes" are automatically "bad"? Again, please explain this theory.

[QUOTE}I'm not believing your self-righteous statements in other threads that you're not homophobic, anti-semitic or racists. [/quote]

Believe what you wish. It doesn't make it TRUTH.

j03L10T · 12-28-2002, 09:24 AM

Very well put, I think. Lady Syc I have to applaude you for pointing out the fact that everyone is different in their own way, and many jump to conclusions about what they may read or see whether online or another reality altogether. I think that some contributng factors vary in this case, ranging from various drug habits, overall contentness with life in general, and also the way others may have been raised to perceive the words and actions of others (to name just a few). I believe it would probably do someone out there a favor to notice the way that last sentence begins with the words "I THINK", instead of "I KNOW". I read something to that effect in one of Syc's poems on his personal home page that really struck a very deep chord with me and although it read as a simple poem at first, I don't know very many others that could address such an issue so directly with very few words. It sticks to me to this very day and I am looking forward to reading the others, hopefully when I am off again and actually have the patience to read instead of write my own. But yeah, it does always suck when someone doesn't appear to have much of a sense of humor, especially when it seems to them that instigating a 'holy' witch hunt is the only proper response, I think. Something else I THINK, the best way to deal with this sort of individual is to forgive them for their ignorance and lack of understanding. I usually ask them if they are taking their medication and chances are that if they don't laugh and smile with you, just apologize for the joke and move on. But we don't do that sort of thing at a thread named "Truly Tasteless Jokes", now do we?

12-18-2002, 01:37 PM	#2
j03L10T going nowhere slow Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: L.A. Posts: 252	Two guys go into a not so very well lit tavern of midevil design. "Bartender", the first one shouts into the darkness. No reply. Once again the first one shouts out for a drink and the bartender doesn't seem to notice. Then the second one says "he's deaf, don't you get it already?". The first one says to the second one, "you are shitting me, right?". "I am absolutely not" says number two and adds "not only that but the moron can't see so the drinks are absolutely on the house and FREE of charge". -Something a little tiny and ignorant monkey once told me. AHAHAHH. Good night. __________________ "There never seems to be enough time to do things you wanna' do once you find them."-excerpt from Jim Croce's 'Time in a Bottle'. Last edited by j03L10T; 12-18-2002 at 01:43 PM.

12-18-2002, 02:25 PM	#7
j03L10T going nowhere slow Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: L.A. Posts: 252	I must be the devil since the southern baptists say so, right? Although I volunteered to a david bowie looking mother fucker, I don't recall volunteering to be the 'devil', ever. Don't ever ask me to go to church with you, or why I ever dared jesus to 'come back', after the life of torment I have lived. Mostly in part and way shape and form of a most painful and undetected upon birth, defect. Don't try to define me, I will only embarass you and without at all meaning to. None of you ever knew what you were purposely shitting on through your ignorantely worded euphorisms and immature and not so well informed mis-actions. But I still maintain in my own usual and hopeless (to you) course of merely wishfull thnking that I might just be able to overlook your own thoughtless ways when it is YOUR turn to have to pretend to be just totally stupid just to insure that everything remains the way you think it should be. If you want to know the answer, whatever you do- don't ask me. __________________ "There never seems to be enough time to do things you wanna' do once you find them."-excerpt from Jim Croce's 'Time in a Bottle'.

12-18-2002, 06:30 PM	#8
99 44/100% pure Infrequently Astonished Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Baltimore metro area Posts: 324	OK, this one's better in person . . . but here goes: Joe Sixpack is nursing a brew on a barstool next to some pencil-necked French guy. Pierre, drinking a Mai Tai, periodically (and subtly) sniffs his finger and murmurs to himself "Aaah, Fifi." After he does this a few times, Joe asks Pierre's what's up with the finger-thing? "Oh, mon ami, I am sorry to disturb you, but I was just with my girlfriend, Fifi, and her lovely scent still lingers on my finger." Joe says, "Yeah, I know whatcha mean," takes a huge snort of his arm, from the shoulder down to the fingertips and blurts out "Myrtle!" New to the Cellar but having fun watching the antics. I'm not so sure I should get too close to some of the cages though -- you know what they say about the Jaguars; when they turn their backs to you and lift their tails, it's time to run! 99 44/100% pure __________________ Overcompensating for the 0.56% that is irredeemably corrupted.

12-19-2002, 10:36 AM	#11
j03L10T going nowhere slow Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: L.A. Posts: 252	What do you get when you cross a mule with an onion? An ass that runs forever. Can't believe my last post here yesterday. Shocking but most truthful, that's why I am leaving it there. truly yours, joe q. elliot __________________ "There never seems to be enough time to do things you wanna' do once you find them."-excerpt from Jim Croce's 'Time in a Bottle'.

05-27-2010, 08:19 AM	#12
wanderer Master of the Domain Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 225	On one fine night, Charlie Chaplin went to fancy dress competition............He won seventh prize!!! __________________ smoke on the water

12-18-2002, 01:54 PM	#5
perth Strong Silent Type Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Fort Collins, CO Posts: 1,949	seems like a lot of thinking. not sure its funny even then. but i did like the viagra one. ~james

12-18-2002, 06:35 PM	#9
elSicomoro Person who doesn't update the user title Join Date: Jan 2001 Posts: 12,486	Jag, put your tail down and turn around...good boy.

12-27-2002, 05:49 AM	#13
j03L10T going nowhere slow Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: L.A. Posts: 252	Today's pic- This is the girl from the converted lesbian/crackhead/handyman joke, after she disposed of the body. __________________ "There never seems to be enough time to do things you wanna' do once you find them."-excerpt from Jim Croce's 'Time in a Bottle'.

12-28-2002, 09:24 AM	#15
j03L10T going nowhere slow Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: L.A. Posts: 252	Very well put, I think. Lady Syc I have to applaude you for pointing out the fact that everyone is different in their own way, and many jump to conclusions about what they may read or see whether online or another reality altogether. I think that some contributng factors vary in this case, ranging from various drug habits, overall contentness with life in general, and also the way others may have been raised to perceive the words and actions of others (to name just a few). I believe it would probably do someone out there a favor to notice the way that last sentence begins with the words "I THINK", instead of "I KNOW". I read something to that effect in one of Syc's poems on his personal home page that really struck a very deep chord with me and although it read as a simple poem at first, I don't know very many others that could address such an issue so directly with very few words. It sticks to me to this very day and I am looking forward to reading the others, hopefully when I am off again and actually have the patience to read instead of write my own. But yeah, it does always suck when someone doesn't appear to have much of a sense of humor, especially when it seems to them that instigating a 'holy' witch hunt is the only proper response, I think. Something else I THINK, the best way to deal with this sort of individual is to forgive them for their ignorance and lack of understanding. I usually ask them if they are taking their medication and chances are that if they don't laugh and smile with you, just apologize for the joke and move on. But we don't do that sort of thing at a thread named "Truly Tasteless Jokes", now do we? __________________ "There never seems to be enough time to do things you wanna' do once you find them."-excerpt from Jim Croce's 'Time in a Bottle'.

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