The Generic Support Group Thread - Page 11

Trilby · 01-18-2006, 02:43 PM

I feel lonely sometimes, too, then I go out and observe my fellow beings and end up thanking the gods that I AM alone. For the most part, people annoy me. I've very little patience and even less good will. I USED to have some (lots, I think) but it all got eaten up. I always end up doing things I don't want to do, saying things I don't mean and being someone I'm not. It takes a toll, though, being alone. Sometimes I fear I'm becoming the female equivalent of Ted Kaczinsky. Then I remember that I'm not that smart.

Trilby · 01-20-2006, 02:39 PM

well, eff ya! no one cares re: my loneliness and alienation!

*SOB*

Rock Steady · 01-20-2006, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

well, eff ya! no one cares re: my loneliness and alienation!

*SOB*

I was going to post something late last night, but all my clever reponses seemed kind of dumb, so I got writer's block. I guess posting something dumb is better than not saying anything when it comes to showing you the lurve you need.

glatt · 01-20-2006, 03:35 PM

So what's your situation, Brianna? Don't your sons live with you any longer? Did I miss a post about them moving out? Or are they always out of the house with their friends?

How often do you speak with real people?

Trilby · 01-20-2006, 03:17 PM

i lurve you!

Trilby · 01-20-2006, 03:41 PM

um. ouch.

my sons are fine. one lives with me and the other does not.

I never speak with real people.

I'll go away now.

Rock Steady · 01-20-2006, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

um. ouch.

my sons are fine. one lives with me and the other does not.

I never speak with real people.

I'll go away now.

Don't worry about the guy in the ivory tower.

We live with a 19 yo teenage son; he has his own world and doesn't want us in it, barely see him. One needs adult contact; I thought that news reached the ivory tower by now, professor.

glatt · 01-20-2006, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Brianna

um. ouch.

Sorry if I came across harsh. I honestly didn't mean to.

I was just curious about the details of your situation. You used to talk every once in a while about your kids, and you don't any more.

I get a lot from my kids, so I can't imagine being lonely as long as they are around. Of course, teenagers aren't the same as little kids. At least, I wasn't when I was a teenager.

Many years ago, I was living alone and was unemployed for about 3-4 months. It was very lonely. I spoke to real human beings (as opposed to typing on a computer) about 2-3 times a week back then. I didn't even have the Cellar to fall back on. It wasn't really enough. Some days, walking over to a 7-11 was the most human contact I would get.

Rock Steady · 01-20-2006, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by glatt

Sorry if I came across harsh. I honestly didn't mean to.

I'm glad to hear that. Hopefully, Bri will be back after a short break.

For a Support thread, some folks have been fairly critical after people let loose with their honest feelings. That reinforces the idea that if you tell someone something, they can use it against you. So, you bottle it up inside until it explodes.

xoxoxoBruce · 01-20-2006, 11:21 PM

Maybe so, but sometimes those explosions are more revealing......feel better, too.

laebedahs · 01-27-2006, 10:28 AM

I did some looking around for a local poetry group, couldn't find any (wonderful backwoods city!). I'm sure I could find one if I started looking in the Atlanta metro area, but I really don't want to have to drive there. It isn't very far, it's just my car gets horrible gas miledge.

xoxoxoBruce · 01-27-2006, 10:55 AM

Why drive? Post it in the Cellar.

mrnoodle · 01-27-2006, 12:39 PM

Is there a difference between support and validation? Sometimes I get the feeling that people don't want others' insight, they just want to hear that they're right about something.

I quit asking for validation from others directly. My problem is that I still seek it, but now I cloak it in self-deprecation. I say "does this suck?" when the only answer I care to hear is "of course it doesn't suck -- you are awesome".

Praise and derision make me equally uncomfortable, and I don't LIKE to hear either. But I continually seek them out. I crave attention of any kind, whether positive or negative, yet receiving attention makes me squirmy.

wolf, one to admit please.

wolf · 01-27-2006, 01:14 PM

My caveat: "I will support you in whatever you wish to do, or through any problems you are having, however, I do reserve the right to tell you when something is just damn stupid."

Sundae · 02-08-2006, 05:18 AM

Just an update as it's about a month since I first raised these issues.

I've lost 9lbs so far at Weight Watchers. Lots to go, but I seem to be in a routine now and am steadily losing each week.

I fell off the wagon last week when I hurt my leg and got drunk on wine, but apart from that one night I haven't had a drink since 9 January. I gave up drink-fuelled smoking at the same time, so I seem to have cracked the lot all in one go.

I have a lot more money because of this three-pronged attack and am saving for a holiday next year and a suprise party for my Mum's 60th in September.

Needless to say I am feeling much more in control and subsequently happier. Thanks to those who offered support & suggestions - it did help break the cycle.

01-18-2006, 02:43 PM	#1
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	I feel lonely sometimes, too, then I go out and observe my fellow beings and end up thanking the gods that I AM alone. For the most part, people annoy me. I've very little patience and even less good will. I USED to have some (lots, I think) but it all got eaten up. I always end up doing things I don't want to do, saying things I don't mean and being someone I'm not. It takes a toll, though, being alone. Sometimes I fear I'm becoming the female equivalent of Ted Kaczinsky. Then I remember that I'm not that smart. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

01-20-2006, 02:39 PM	#2
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	well, eff ya! no one cares re: my loneliness and alienation! SOB __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

01-20-2006, 03:17 PM	#5
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	i lurve you! __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

01-20-2006, 03:41 PM	#6
Trilby Slattern of the Swail Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 15,654	um. ouch. my sons are fine. one lives with me and the other does not. I never speak with real people. I'll go away now. __________________ In Barrie's play and novel, the roles of fairies are brief: they are allies to the Lost Boys, the source of fairy dust and ...They are portrayed as dangerous, whimsical and extremely clever but quite hedonistic. "Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her. —James Barrie Wimminfolk they be tricksy. - ZenGum

01-20-2006, 11:21 PM	#10
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Maybe so, but sometimes those explosions are more revealing......feel better, too. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

01-20-2006, 03:35 PM	#4
glatt ™ Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Arlington, VA Posts: 27,717	So what's your situation, Brianna? Don't your sons live with you any longer? Did I miss a post about them moving out? Or are they always out of the house with their friends? How often do you speak with real people?

01-27-2006, 10:28 AM	#11
laebedahs Abecedarian Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 172	I did some looking around for a local poetry group, couldn't find any (wonderful backwoods city!). I'm sure I could find one if I started looking in the Atlanta metro area, but I really don't want to have to drive there. It isn't very far, it's just my car gets horrible gas miledge.

01-27-2006, 10:55 AM	#12
xoxoxoBruce The future is unwritten Join Date: Oct 2002 Posts: 71,105	Why drive? Post it in the Cellar. __________________ The descent of man ~ Nixon, Friedman, Reagan, Trump.

01-27-2006, 12:39 PM	#13
mrnoodle bent Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: under the weather Posts: 2,656	Is there a difference between support and validation? Sometimes I get the feeling that people don't want others' insight, they just want to hear that they're right about something. I quit asking for validation from others directly. My problem is that I still seek it, but now I cloak it in self-deprecation. I say "does this suck?" when the only answer I care to hear is "of course it doesn't suck -- you are awesome". Praise and derision make me equally uncomfortable, and I don't LIKE to hear either. But I continually seek them out. I crave attention of any kind, whether positive or negative, yet receiving attention makes me squirmy. wolf, one to admit please. __________________ Sìn a nall na cuaranan sin. -- Cha mhór is fheairrde thu iad, tha iad coltach ri cat air a dhathadh

01-27-2006, 01:14 PM	#14
wolf lobber of scimitars Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Phila Burbs Posts: 20,774	My caveat: "I will support you in whatever you wish to do, or through any problems you are having, however, I do reserve the right to tell you when something is just damn stupid." __________________ wolf eht htiw og "Conspiracies are the norm, not the exception." --G. Edward Griffin The Creature from Jekyll Island High Priestess of the Church of the Whale Penis

02-08-2006, 05:18 AM	#15
Sundae polaroid of perfection Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: West Yorkshire Posts: 24,185	Just an update as it's about a month since I first raised these issues. I've lost 9lbs so far at Weight Watchers. Lots to go, but I seem to be in a routine now and am steadily losing each week. I fell off the wagon last week when I hurt my leg and got drunk on wine, but apart from that one night I haven't had a drink since 9 January. I gave up drink-fuelled smoking at the same time, so I seem to have cracked the lot all in one go. I have a lot more money because of this three-pronged attack and am saving for a holiday next year and a suprise party for my Mum's 60th in September. Needless to say I am feeling much more in control and subsequently happier. Thanks to those who offered support & suggestions - it did help break the cycle.

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