The Draft

[jaguar]

wow wolf, you really are a pro at dealing with nutters.

[warch]

Now, I'm hoping for the best for Radar and his new bride. Love can teach amazing things. To survive, it usually requires you both to, at some point, become less selfish, even selfless.

But what do I know? I'm an uppity American woman.

[Radar]

Riiight, as opposed to what you demand, which is merely the complete subjugation of their emotional and mental existence to the control of another

Wrong. I don't demand any subjugation of any kind. I demand an equal partner, not someone who wants everything and gives nothing in return.

I think what happened is that radar's atheism got in his way of finding an american wife.

I wasn't looking for a wife, especially an American one. And my atheism doesn't get in the way of anything.

You mean far better than American women at being your indentured servant.

Ahhh, more bitter racist remarks. Who says being an equal partner who willingly and happily accepts the traditional role of a wife is a "servant"? She doesn't and I don't. Both of us are equals, but have different responsibilities.

Just wait till she's been over here a while, learns Engrish

One racist remark after another. I don't watch television or even have cable in the house, but she wouldn't change if Oprah knocked on my door and came to my house herself. And Dr. Phil is a loudmouthed idiot. I'd slap that chump around if he came to my house. Also American women don't know shit about American men, which is why they are always complaining about American men not being willing to commit. American men are willing to commit, just not to American women with bad attitudes.

Now it is clear that you have deluded yourself into thinking that because no one stateside would have you that your 9,000 mile journey was a journey to a land of "so-called" superior women.

Put down the crackpipe and step away slowly. I've had plenty of American women. So many I've had to turn down many of them. There were a few who wanted to marry me when I chose to go elsewhere. So save your lame "can't get a woman" bullshit for someone who gives a shit.

Your new bride will eventually learn that there is a life outside of being your slave.

My new wife, will never be a slave and never have be locked in. She'll learn about how American women don't take care of their men, but expect their men to take care of them. They'll learn about how a man works 70 hours a week to buy nice things for American women and how those women won't cook, keep the house clean, and sleep with someone else because thier husband is "never home" because he's busting his ass to support her. My wife will be disgusted by such women. My wife knows she's very lucky to have me for a husband and will never leave me and I know I'm lucky to have such a great wife. With all the time we've been waiting to actually be together, we'll be so happy just to see each other, we'll never leave each other.

As submissive as Asian women appear to the naive Westerner, they are Tigers at heart and can tear the flesh from your bones.

Don't presume to tell me about Asian women. I've dated so many of them and this is my second wife of the Asian persuasion. I know fully how Asian women are not submissive and this is why I get so ticked off when people make remarks suggesting that they are "slaves" or "submissive" because they are neither.

You think you have control in this relationship but my guess is that she is smart enough to permit you to think that until she decides otherwise - which she will.

I don't think I have control of the relationship, I know I have control for my part of it. There is always a power struggle at the beginning of a relationship and I've already set the tone for how our relationship will be. I will not tolerate any game playing or bullshit and if she can't handle it, I'll send her packing. She already tried a couple of times to emotionally blackmail me with tears or threats of going to her mothers house and I told her, "go ahead" because I knew she wanted me to beg her to stay. We have laid the foundation and know that I have the final word. I've been around the block enough times to have seen all the games and I know how to shut them down.

Submissiveness in Asian women is not an individual trait its a cultural one. And when you take her out of the culture, she will learn that there will be nothing to stop her from self-actualizing - a destiny that you will be seen as an obstacle to. I would plan for that if I were you and step aside when it does.

This is pretty irrelevant since I'm not looking for a submissive woman or a slave. I like strong and independent women, but not those who crave superiority rather than equality. I'll never be an obstacle to her "self-actualizing". She can be all that she wants to be as long as we stick to roles we've agreed to take on. I wouldn't expect her to stay with me if I didn't work and take home money to contribute and help out with the housework if she has a job. I'm talking about a partnership, not a master/servant relationship. We both have certain roles, but when one of us falls, the other is there to pick up the fallen one or to take up the slack. That's tough to find in American women.

Seems to me she already bitch-slapped you for not lying to the Immigration Authorities about meeting or not meeting in an Airport bar.

Bitchslapped me? She lied because in her country they are very scared of government people and try to say what they want to hear. She didn't hurt me as much as she hurt herself by lying. She asked me why I didn't call her to "get our stories straight" and I corrected her by saying I told the truth and our stories would automatically be straight if she'd have done the same. And we met at the airport terminal when she came to meet her aunt and uncle who I was travelling with. Not in a bar.

Where do you compartmentalize anomolous behaviour such as that - behaviour that does not mesh with your stereotypical "submissive Asian woman" view?

I'm not the one with the stereotypical submissive Asian woman view. I'm the one who already knows those views are racist and are usually mentioned by American women when they hear you're going to marry an Asian woman from another country.

The typical bitter and snotty responses from an American woman who finds out an American man is going to marry an Asian woman (particularly one from Vietnam) include:

Oh, so you want a submissive slave?

What's the matter, couldn't get an American woman?

Oh, you have a mail-order bride?

Did she promise she will "love you long time"?

etc.

Radar, just remember that when, excuse me, if things do not proceed quite the way you have planned with your marriage, we will be here, and we will listen to what you have to say at that time.

I'm just going to be so happy waking up next to her and spending time with her after 4 years apart (and so will she) that the odds are in my favor. Of the many people I know who have been married twice, all but one has stayed with their second wife forever....so far.

You failed to answer two questions directly asked of you. So, again, bullshit. You're a liar.

Which two questions? I don't see them.

wow wolf, you really are a pro at dealing with nutters.

She does pretty good with you.

[Radar]

But what do I know? I'm an uppity American woman.

Warch, you don't come off as "uppity" to me. You may be the exception that proves the rule. I've already said that the observations I and millions of other men have made do not apply to ALL American women. There are some very good ones out there, but they are hard to find and are the exception rather than the rule.

If you the description I've given doesn't match you, you're not one of the people I'm talking about. But some in here know my words hit too close to home and they're upset.

[elSicomoro]

If I wasn't convinced before, I surely am now.

[Radar]

Convinced of what? Your stupidity? I'm fairly convinced myself. glanced over that thread and didn't see any unanswered questions. But if you have such a burning desire for me to answer a question, you won't mind asking it again. If it was so easy for me to miss it on review, I may have missed it going through the first time.

[elSicomoro]

Mr. Ireland did indeed answer the first question I linked to...I apologize for saying otherwise.

I stand by the second one, though. Radar, if you can't figure it out, you're out of luck. I can't help you.

[Beestie]

One racist remark after another.

Your initial stereotypical racist remark is what drew me into this thread in the first place so don't bitch when someone picks up the very club you were swinging around and swings it at you.

But, differences aside, I wish the best for you and your bride and really do hope things work out for you two especially if you decide to have children.

[Troubleshooter]

Originally posted by Radar
We have laid the foundation and know that I have the final word. I've been around the block enough times to have seen all the games and I know how to shut them down.

I'm waiting for you to start quoting Phyllis Schaffly next.

[warch]

I embrace my tradition busting American womanhood. Isnt that the tradition?

[ladysycamore]

[quote]Originally posted by jaguar

wwoooa......I just entered bizarro world, I agree with Radar on something:

quote:To use those “considerations” as an excuse to invade another country is insane. America is not here to force other countries to be democracies, or to treat their people the way the president thinks they should be treated. America has NO AUTHORITY beyond our own borders.

The US sure as hell doesn't act like it has no authority beyond our own borders. What is "said" and what is actually "done" are two different things.

[ladysycamore]

I've gone out with more than my fair share of American women and most want a commitment and want promises of marriage, despite the fact that they offer nothing and demand everything. Fat chance.

*read: I've tried to date American woman, and goddamnit, some of them just don't bow low enough or jump high enough for my tastes!*


Originally posted by Undertoad

Riiight, as opposed to what you demand, which is merely the complete subjugation of their emotional and mental existence to the control of another -- I'm sure these lasses are merely making the best possible deal for themselves that doesn't involve biting their own arm off to get out of this trap of a radar-esque "queen of paradise" existence.

Nail.Hit.Head.

[jaguar]

My new wife, will never be a slave and never have be locked in. She'll learn about how American women don't take care of their men, but expect their men to take care of them. They'll learn about how a man works 70 hours a week to buy nice things for American women and how those women won't cook, keep the house clean, and sleep with someone else because thier husband is "never home" because he's busting his ass to support her. My wife will be disgusted by such women. My wife knows she's very lucky to have me for a husband and will never leave me and I know I'm lucky to have such a great wife. With all the time we've been waiting to actually be together, we'll be so happy just to see each other, we'll never leave each other.

Amazing how he knows exaclt how she will react. Truely amazing. You know, I hear these days some women have their own jobs too and........my god.....don't need anyone to support them they can do it all by themselves and thus aren't going to be interested in workaholics who won't lift a finger around the house beacuse they work so hard and who are never there to boot.

[Clodfobble]

I figure, if it works for them then it works for them. If it doesn't they'll figure that out. There are as many ways to run a marriage as there are couples.

I do think there are more reasonable American women out there than he gives us credit for, but there's nothing wrong with his ideal as long as both parties understand and agree to the way things work. As wolf said, if Radar weren't an atheist there would be a whole wide swath of American women available to him who prefer the more traditional roles in marriage.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Radar, I didn't know you were married before. You said she was Asian? Asian or Asian-American?
Anyway, good luck with your pursuit of happiness. That's guaranteed, you know.