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Old 11-28-2006, 11:50 PM   #151
rkzenrage
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I have been out of town. I just got back and have not been feeling well. The trip was very hard on me. I had a pretty bad "spell" the other day (the majority of the trip went pretty well, traveling is hard on me).
Also had a bit of a scare when we discovered what we thought was a hernia after a night of some spasms. Found out today it is another cyst that is under a vein, so it looks, & feels, bad; as well as, just right.
Thanks for asking.
Your post did not seem tactless, just direct. Mine are often confused for the former as well.
I thought I did address it. Perhaps not well enough... something specific I missed that you want me to discuss?

Last edited by rkzenrage; 11-28-2006 at 11:54 PM.
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Old 12-04-2006, 04:58 PM   #152
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Based on what I've read in another thread I would really like to see this one gone. How can I get that done?
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Old 12-04-2006, 05:18 PM   #153
Undertoad
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Private message me with a reason compelling enough to warrant its removal. Keep in mind that many others have contributed to it.
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Old 12-04-2006, 06:41 PM   #154
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Can't it be closed to further posts without being unavailable to read?
rkzenrage, if it's become a burden to check and reply, just post that you won't in the future. People wanting to post will do so with that caveat, if they wish.
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Old 01-10-2007, 11:27 PM   #155
rkzenrage
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I don't know what to do...
This used to be my place to "vent" when things got bad.
But now I feel like no one trusts me...
Things are bad.
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Old 01-10-2007, 11:30 PM   #156
Aliantha
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Why do you feel like that rkz? I haven't noticed people treating you differently. I have noticed that you haven't been posting much lately.

Been busy over christmas and new year?
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Old 01-10-2007, 11:38 PM   #157
rkzenrage
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I have not been well. My condition is worsening & some of the things I have been dealing with are still wrong. My wrist is still broken and I still have five kidney stones. I'm having to change pain Dr.s again... my mobility is crap, it is a long list.
You must not have been there for the grilling I got.
Edit:
The holidays were horrible, I spend most of it in bed alone.
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Old 01-10-2007, 11:47 PM   #158
Aliantha
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I've had grillings of my own.

Sorry you had depressing holidays. Sorry for not knowing this, but are you married?
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Old 01-10-2007, 11:49 PM   #159
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Yes, I am.
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Old 01-11-2007, 12:21 AM   #160
rkzenrage
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It was for the best. My son is three-&-1/2 and I told them to leave me. He knows that I am sick, but on days like that, he does not need to see me, just sucks it happened to be on Christmas. I had a couple of good hours in the morning, but I fucked-up and helped her put his kitchen together the night before, plus a front moved in that day and hammered me (the latter being 80% of it). A week of really bad times followed.
My wife is starting her own office with a new ins company and has less time with me. I am happy for her, but miss her a lot, especially since there are a lot of things I can't do for myself any more, some that I have not told her about. I am not eating much some days. My last tests came back very dehydrated and my family freaked... my fault for not speaking-up but she has so much to do...
I just had a surgical procedure yesterday and I have to spend all day in the hospital, perhaps two on Fri, with only a small meal before 9am and nothing but clear liquids until 11am (nothing after that) for extensive tests. They are going to hurt like something that many/perhaps most of you will never know, thank goodness.
You never know if they are for me or for them to write some damn paper or just for their curiosity.
I'm probably going to have to have these stones cut out, which is very scary with my immune system... keep in mind, my wrist has been broken/or a torn ligament/tendon, they don't really know since October. I suck at healing.
Finally, my pain level is through the roof and it affects everything... I have not been able to hang-out with any of my friends for ages. I spend all my time alone in this bed in more pain every day.
Good times.
One cool thing, my son is awesome, every day is a gift that I get to see him for just a few moments. It is all that keeps me alive.
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Old 01-11-2007, 12:30 AM   #161
Aliantha
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I wanted to ask why your wife wasn't with you, but wasn't sure how to, so thanks for making it a bit easier on me.

Kids are great for making us see the best in life. I can't imagine spending an hour in your shoes, let alone living your life, but it is a blessing that you have your son, so it's wonderful that you still have that perspective.

Maybe after your wife gets settled into her new office things will be a bit easier on you both? I know I don't know her, but I suspect she'd want to know if you needed her more. If she finds out later that you did, but failed to tell her, she'll have a burden of guilt to carry (if she's anything like most of the good wives I know) as well as all the other emotions she undoubtedly feels for you.

Just tell me if I'm speaking out of turn. I'm not trying to be nosey. Just trying to talk.
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Old 01-11-2007, 12:37 AM   #162
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Not at all, it helps...
She just has so much, you know?
& there is really no helping me.
Edit:
BTW, just to clarify, because I'm sure someone wants to know.
The reason they don't know about my wrist is because there are issues with my bones with the osteo, so they can't tell with that. Due to all the inflammation, no soft tissue issues are going to show on an X-Ray on me.
I have a spinal cord stimulator (pacemaker) implant, so I can't have an MRI any longer.
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Old 01-11-2007, 12:43 AM   #163
Aliantha
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I do understand you trying to protect her, and I'm sure she amazes you every day with her comapssion. I'd also be willing to lay money on the fact that she's still got much more to give you.
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Old 01-11-2007, 12:45 AM   #164
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There is time for that.
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Old 01-11-2007, 03:54 AM   #165
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rk, I had wondered why you wanted to lose this thread a while back -I am sorry that you've been cross-questioned somewhere at the cellar so much that you don't feel trusted here. I always look out for your posts and read them with sympathy, wishing I could help more.
I'm with Aliantha on keeping your wife informed - I appreciate you trying to shield her, too, but I'm sure, from what you've said, she'd rather know and be able to help you.
Wishing you courage, patience and the continued love and support of your family.
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