What’s Irritating the Sh*t out of me!

[Clodfobble]

Oh no, I'm so sorry about your tree, monster!

[xoxoxoBruce]

Pop taught me to tie the top of the tree to a solid curtain rod, from two angles, before anything goes on it. That served me well when pets arrived, especially cats.

[monster]

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

Oh no, I'm so sorry about your tree, monster!

Thanks, it's OK -I'm more cross i didn't take a FAIL pic -I could have been fanous on the interwebs.

I can't spoil the look of the tree by tying it. I usually wedge the front a little, but this one was so stable...... (it's now wedged)

[jester]

M - sorry about the tree - "the girl" - what a little snot - very rude.


I drive fast - always have - almost always late, therefore it's now a habit. So, if you're going to pull out in front of me, atleast go the speed limit, which on that particular road was only 45 to begin with. grrr

[Clodfobble]

Oooh, I am seething.

The stepdaughter (the same one I was generously considering giving birthday presents to earlier today) has for the third time in a row put off a large homework project entirely until the weekend with us. It's perfectly understandable that she will have homework on the weekends sometimes, but in every case so far she has had to work literally all weekend to manage to get it done, and has needed significant prodding and encouragement to keep on task. Her mother's explanation for why this has happened yet again is that Stepdaughter told her she couldn't make her do her homework, and she had to reluctantly agree.

Oh HELL no. I don't know what sort of planet her mother lives on, but it's called discipline, and we have a plentiful harvest of it on our planet. In only the most literal sense is one unable to take her hand to the paper and force her to do the work. I have a wide variety of motivating tools at my disposal, and she will be presented with several this weekend.

I can't even decide if I'm more pissed at the mother for being a shitty mother, or at the stepdaughter for trying to pull this crap when she knows damn well her mother is going to tell us about it. She would never dream of mouthing off to either of us like that.

I have a small but unshakeable suspicion that she's deliberately pulling these stunts in order to force her mother to let her come live with us. I honestly don't know how I'd feel about that. There are a lot of issues tied in with it, both for and against.

[Cicero]

Well? If she isn't a fabulous parent, I don't see why you wouldn't? Right? Not that I know dick about parenting or what in the hell I'm talking about. Chalk it up to an uneducated opinion from the peanut gallery.
Aaah, sorry you're annoyed Clod!

[Clodfobble]

Originally Posted by Cicero

Well? If she isn't a fabulous parent, I don't see why you wouldn't? Right? Not that I know dick about parenting or what in the hell I'm talking about.

Wouldn't want her to come live here? Well, it's a complicated idea. First (assuming this is actually something she is angling for, which I'm definitely not sure it is,) I don't think she's really thought through what daily life here would be like. She may not respect her mother, but I don't think she's ready for a constant application of the rules at our house either. She'd be leaving her friends in Houston, and starting over at a new school. Aside from the impact on her, there's the impact on her brother--he takes a lot more after his mother, and most certainly would not want to come live here. We wouldn't want to give up weekends with him, just like we wouldn't want the stepdaughter to stop seeing her mother altogether. So then would weekends become a direct trade, one kid for the other, and back again? They'd never see each other, except in passing and maybe holidays. And while they both might appreciate getting to be apart from the other, I don't know that being separated would be a good thing for them long-term.

Plus, any major change in the custody arrangement would necessitate going back to court, which is not cheap even when both parties have already hammered out the details and aren't battling over anything.

[Sundae]

Clod - be pissed with the mother.
Most of the manipulation used by a ten year old will be a kneejerk reaction - only repeated when it works. She's still trying to find her way in a tough world and the only protection she has is in two very different family situations.

It wouldn't surprise me if underneath what she is trying to achieve is to get her mother to match the discipline she finds in your household, which is bound to feel safer in comparison because it offers a steady framework of rules, rewards and consequences.

Sorry that you have to go through it again and again. Just keep doing what you're doing, it's obviously a good job even if she doesn't sometimes seem to give a lot back.

[xoxoxoBruce]

So what happens if the kid goes home at the end of the weekend with the homework undone?

[Clodfobble]

Honestly, there's a decent chance her mother will mostly do it for her. But whether or not she makes the school deadline, she's under instructions from us that she will finish it by tonight or there will be (as yet unspecified) consequences. It's also likely that she'll end up missing something this afternoon because she'll be in her room working instead.

[xoxoxoBruce]

So if she doesn't do it, she won't be able to go to the ball.


Unless.... her fairy godmother, with the mice and birds, whip up a gown with glass slippers, and turn a pumpkin into a coach.... nevermind.

[Cicero]

Maybe she should be inspired to do her work in both cases. Then no matter where she is she will do it, and it will be useful when she lives alone, or goes off to college. I guess so far that isn't working, but maybe everyone could be patient until the kid learns self-responsibility that sometimes only comes with age or not at all.

Maybe a tutor would be useful. I think there is an added benefit when a child see's that school-work is important enough for outside help.

I think the kid has two different sets of rules from house to house and she needs to stabilize.

Like I said, I don't know what I'm talking about, I was a horrible almost step-mom at one point. I was the only person that had boundaries and guidelines which made me look like the monster. Any rule I had was completely unenforcable and it's stupid to have absolutely no power in your own household. So I had to leave, there was no fixing it, and was going to be damned if I was going to be an impotent observer of insane doings in my own house. I hate the wars with the bio. mom so I will never be a step-parent. I went through the worst nightmare with that and never dated a man with kids again, because of it. (enough about me blah blah blah) I had to go to therapy because of that, anyway!!


I hope that you can keep the eye on the prize. I bet you are being manipulated by the bio. mom in more ways than one, and that might skew the point of things. If the kid saves doing stuff until she gets to your house so be it. You can train the kid, not the mom.

I know how frustrating the situation can be, as I said, I went through the worst. I hope these situations turn out well for you, because there will be many obstacles, this situation is just a symptom of all the other fun to come. Just try to be fair and not punish the kid for the actions of the mother. I wish I could tell you not to let this crap get to you, but well, it should. It's just how you deal with it that matters.

Ok stfu Cicero...!!! lol!

[binky]

My husband invited one of his coworkers children (nice little girl, same age as my youngest), to spend the night tonight, without asking me. Why this is irritating is because I just spent last night at my daughter's girl scout leader's house helping out at a slumber party for nine 8 year old brownies, and could really use a quiet night tonight. ARRRRRRGGGGG

[HungLikeJesus]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

So if she doesn't do it, she won't be able to go to the ball.


Unless.... her fairy godmother, with the mice and birds, whip up a gown with glass slippers, and turn a pumpkin into a coach.... nevermind.

Bruce, in that story wasn't there an evil ste... oh, I see. Never mind.

[dar512]

Originally Posted by jester

What's the deal with cops? Trying to get thru intersections flashing their lights, but no siren. What the crap? Is it....

a. Krispy Kreme just turned on the "Hot & Fresh Now" sign?

b. Quitting time - gotta go clock out?

c. There's a hottie on the corner, gotta go "frisk" her?

d. all the above

Picked this up from elsewhere. I think I also heard this in drivers ed lo these many years ago.

The law allows for officers to break traffic laws when needed in the 'actual' performance of their duties..........

Some situations.
One call is bank alarms...Another is a drug transaction in progress.........The lights and siren will let them know we are coming and allow them a chance to get away. Some criminals will use a lookout stationed several blocks away. If they see a police car coming with its lights flashing or siren blaring, they will give a call into the other criminals either 2-way radio or cell phone and give them a chance to get away.

One more call is A medical call involving the elderly or children. We sometimes respond without lights and siren so that we do not scare or upset the victims. Especially if they are very young or very old.