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12-01-2014, 04:19 PM
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#1 |
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To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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I hope you accidentally hit "End call" instead of turning off speaker phone after you've been on hold for 20 minutes.
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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12-01-2014, 09:17 PM
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#2 |
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To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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...It was the first day with me new hook...
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The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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12-01-2014, 10:34 PM
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#3 |
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I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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I hope you burn the toast
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
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12-02-2014, 04:01 AM
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#4 |
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trying hard to be a better person
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 16,493
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hahaha@grav Sorry, but it's funny. You poor thing.
I hope you get out of the shower and realise you have no towel or clothes in the bathroom and then realise you've had unexpected visitors arrive while you've been in the shower. 
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Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber |
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12-02-2014, 08:20 AM
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#5 |
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™
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 27,717
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I hope they open the fire hydrants on your street to flush out the water mains just as you have lathered up you hair in the shower.
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12-02-2014, 02:45 PM
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#6 |
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The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
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I hope that new(ish) roof you didn't want, ask for, or need starts leaking.
Goddammit. 
__________________
 These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. |
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12-02-2014, 02:48 PM
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#7 |
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The Un-Tuckian
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: South Central...KY that is
Posts: 39,517
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I was telling that story in the bar, and began hearing the table behind us laughing. By the time I was done, the table behind us, the table on the other side, and the table across the aisle was laughing. I think the whole bar heard that story.
__________________
These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA, EPA, FBI, DEA, CDC, or FDIC. These statements are not intended to diagnose, cause, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. If you feel you have been harmed/offended by, or, disagree with any of the above statements or images, please feel free to fuck right off. |
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12-02-2014, 06:52 PM
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#8 |
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To shreds, you say?
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the house and on the street-how many, many feet we meet!
Posts: 18,449
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I hope you launch Internet Explorer
__________________
The internet is a hateful stew of vomit you can never take completely seriously. - Her Fobs |
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12-03-2014, 12:28 AM
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#9 |
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I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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I hope you cut yourself shaving
__________________
This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
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12-03-2014, 12:36 AM
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#10 |
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trying hard to be a better person
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Brisbane, Australia
Posts: 16,493
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I hope you cut yourself shaving...your pubes
__________________
Kind words are the music of the world. F. W. Faber |
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12-03-2014, 10:10 AM
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#11 |
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I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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I hope your TP slips and you get poop under your fingernail.
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
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12-03-2014, 10:16 AM
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#12 |
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I can hear my ears
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 25,571
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I hope you have an erection lasting more than 4 hours.
I hope you get moderate to severe plaque psoriasis I hope you ask your doctor about Viagara and he tells you you are not healthy enough to have sex. Not you, ladies.
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This body holding me reminds me of my own mortality Embrace this moment, remember We are eternal, all this pain is an illusion ~MJKeenan |
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12-03-2014, 10:11 PM
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#13 |
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I love it when a plan comes together.
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 9,793
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I hope you forget to turn off your alarm clock the night before your day off.
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12-03-2014, 11:10 PM
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#14 |
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polaroid of perfection
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: West Yorkshire
Posts: 24,185
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I hope you have two totes amazeballs photos and send them to a cool person and they don't receive them.
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Life's hard you know, so strike a pose on a Cadillac |
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12-04-2014, 06:12 AM
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#15 |
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still says videotape
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 26,813
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I hope your dogs find a gut pile and create an insurmountable bubble of ass gas in your house.
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If you would only recognize that life is hard, things would be so much easier for you. - Louis D. Brandeis |
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Hybrid Mode
