Ask the Transperson

[Sheldonrs]

Originally Posted by Pamela

Do please share this website with me. I have been looking for a site on that subject that is not blatant commercialism.

Hi Pamela. Here is the web site:


http://www.heartcorps.com/journeys/voice.htm

[Pamela]

Originally Posted by sexobon

How has ending your posts with "Love Pam" worked for you?

For awhile after you introduced yourself, it was in almost every post ... which I found annoying. Now it's not as frequent. To me, a person doing such generally comes across as frivolous or disingenuous depending on their other personality traits. I don't consider it a positive attribute. In your case; however, it seems to be a technique for lowering barriers. Maybe it has even worked well enough for you to suggest it to others.

It works pretty well for me overall. You are the only person to even mention it.

I use it both as a way to allow my inner light to shine through as well as a reminder for me to be a more loving person, not the grouch that HE could be at times.

I am a dab hand at lowering barriers and getting people to converse and share rather than talk AT me or around me.

Love and coral lipstick lip prints!

LOL

Pamela

[Lamplighter]

The following article is from our local (progressive) newspaper about a 5th Grade teacher at a local school.
It some ideas we may not be familiar with and the diversity among us.

theythemtheir
Portland Tribute - Caitilin Feldman - 8/18/15

Editor's note:

In this story, "they," "them" and "their" have been used as singular, gender-neutral pronouns
in regard to Leo Soell. We made this decision to stay true to Soell's gender-neutral identity.

Transgender teacher living 'authentic' life after cancer battle

Identifying along the spectrum, outside the boxes of “male” or “female,”
means that Soell also doesn’t identify with “he” or “she.”
Soell prefers the pronoun “they,” a linguistic transition they began implementing
two years ago with close friends, and last February with the world.

During this time, they also worked with doctors at Tualatin’s Legacy Meridian Park Medical Center,
who played a vital role in their gender identity transition.

“Some people might argue, ‘Why don’t you just use “he?” It’s masculine,’” Soell said.
“But ‘they’ continuously points to the fact that the language is not inclusive.”

By definition, “they” can mean a group of people or a single person of unspecified gender,
but the language has whittled away at the latter meaning.
Using “they” as a singular pronoun sets off grammar alarms in many people’s brains,
including Soell’s, when they first begin changing pronouns.
<snip>

[footfootfoot]

I guess my question would really be for your wife. I totally get loving the person you are, and that is irrelevant to gender. When it comes to sex and sexual attraction is that an issue for her? If so, in what ways are the two if you addressing it? I guess the question becomes more poignant if you have bottom surgery.

[Pamela]

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

I guess my question would really be for your wife. I totally get loving the person you are, and that is irrelevant to gender. When it comes to sex and sexual attraction is that an issue for her? If so, in what ways are the two if you addressing it? I guess the question becomes more poignant if you have bottom surgery.

I was wondering when this one would come up.

It allows me to talk a little bit about a sore subject.

My beloved wife and life partner abandoned me for greener pastures in September but didn't tell me until the beginning of November. To me, sex is a nonissue and honestly, I don't miss it. She disagrees.

She has informed me (via email) that she intends to divorce me. No counseling, no therapy, no discussing it with me either. Just...gone.

And just like that, my entire life fell apart. I am trying to pick up the pieces but it has been very hard. I have lost my new family that I was just getting to know and like. I lost all my furkids too. She took three and left me with the rest to find homes for. Hardest thing I have ever done. I still cry over it. Luckily, I saved ONE. No one should be forced to choose between their children. NO ONE!!

Losing the house and property is taking longer but is inevitable. Soon, I will be reduced to living in my travel trailer. Perhaps this is a good thing. Keep me humble.

Getting back to the original question, sex is not important to me at all. The chemical cocktail that I take to suppress testosterone is powerful and causes chemical castration. It also frees me ffrom the male libido. You have NO idea how powerful that monster is!

She decided that sex IS important enough to her that she is not interested in me as a sex partner. She feels that she married a man and when that changed, she was short-changed and wanted to find someone more to her liking. This, I understand. I'm not fighting the divorce nor am I demanding spousal support (which I am entitled to by law). She can go try to find someone else. Good luck and good riddance.

I will cry about it on my therapist's shoulder, once I can afford to see her again.

No, don't apologise. This was going to come up sooner or later. I'm OK.

Pamela

[sexobon]

... but then I wasn't soliciting for contributions.

[slang]

Originally Posted by sexobon

... but then I wasn't soliciting for contributions.

What does my temporary hardship have to do with Pam's transperson subject here? Nothing. You've gone out of your way to be snarky when you need not be.

People here raise money for friends regularly. If you're not my friend, that's a tragedy, but try to stick to the subject matter instead of trying to show everyone how incredibly witty you are busting my chops.

Thank you and goodbye.

[sexobon]

Originally Posted by slang

... You've gone out of your way to be snarky when you need not be. ... try to stick to the subject matter instead of trying to show everyone how incredibly witty you are busting my chops. ...

Look who's talking:

Originally Posted by slang

... my own transition is OUT of the US. ...
Americans ( or westerners ) don't understand it, don't agree with it, and don't support it but this is the new me. ... Despite the majority of the world's population trying to get IN to the US, I'm getting out. For good.

Slang you ignorant second worlder. You implied that not only all Americans; but, all westerners are too stupid to understand why someone raised here would rather live somewhere else. You further implied that no Americans (or westerners) agree with your moving out and that none of them support it. I'm not only happy an insolent pompous ass like you wanted to leave, I would have contributed to having you exported. I'm thrilled with the new you ... being somewhere else, for good.

Other that that, Happy New Year to you and yours, good looking family.

[BigV]

does that make you a real OG?

[Sheldonrs]

Originally Posted by BigV

does that make you a real OG?

And I take real OG whizzes. Lol

[Sheldonrs]

http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/15/living...html?hpt=hp_c3

[wolf]

Re: what not to say ...

I have a standard remark for M-to-F ...

"So, when you started the hormones did you lose the ability to parallel park?" Usually breaks the ice pretty effectively.

Don't try this at home. I'm an experienced mental health professional.

On a more serious note ... a while back at work we admitted a Transgendered patient. I was told that I would be handling the admission because I have displayed cultural competence. Yes. Those words were used.

[slang]

Originally Posted by wolf

...because I have displayed cultural competence.

Hmm. Do they know you lean conservative?

[sexobon]

Originally Posted by Pamela

... I would like to know, would anyone here be interested in asking the tranny a question? ...

... I know that a lot of cisfolk (that's YOU) ...

Hmmmm, if transperson = tranny, that would mean cisfolk = ...

HEY! Are you calling me a cissy?

[Pamela]

if the Birkenstock fits....