Emotional Intelligence ... or EQ

[xoxoxoBruce]

I appreciate what you're saying about the study revealing pervasive general attitudes... or at least reinforcing the study-er's preconceived notions.
But this is big picture stuff, and there are always exceptions to any big picture.

Be the exception, buck the trend, if you are likable you may have a chance. If you are smart, but unlikeable, or even just dull, it won't likely happen. If you look at that study and say I'm screwed so why bother, it definitely won't happen. General attitudes get changed one exception at a time.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

I appreciate what you're saying about the study revealing pervasive general attitudes... or at least reinforcing the study-er's preconceived notions.
But this is big picture stuff, and there are always exceptions to any big picture.

Be the exception, buck the trend, if you are someone is likable you they may have a chance. If you they are smart, but unlikeable, or even just dull, it won't likely happen. If you they look at that study and say I'm screwed so why bother, it definitely won't happen. General attitudes get changed one exception at a time.

Better?

[DanaC]

Who is looking at that study and thinking 'I'm screwed'?

Yes, it is a complex 'big picture'. But we live in a world where very few women are in the top tiers of any area of business and governance. And we're going backwards. The numbers of women at the top in some areas have stayed static and in others have beguin to fall.

Society is full of messages that tell us (the grand 'Us' ;p) to like succesful men for their success but not to like women for the same thing. The same behaviour that is a positive for men is seen as problematic for women. And it starts at an early age.


Here is the video that sent me off looking for articles about that study:







[eta] noticing and pointing out a cultural phenomenon is not the same as being defeated by that phenomenon.



Also:

[DanaC]

Hahaha. Yes. Ok. I am mollified now:P

[infinite monkey]

Imma be a huge success today if I can get home, dump my car off, and walk down to the bar and drink and smoke and watch wild critters at the river.

That, today, would make me feel #winning. I got Eagle blood and Blue Heron DNA. I'm on a drug, it's called Infinite Monkey.

:monkeyswingingintreesmilie:

[glatt]

Originally Posted by infinite monkey

I'm on a drug, it's called Infinite Monkey.

New user title

[infinite monkey]

Yeah, since my word game went over so well, might as well change my user title.

Not like anyone will notice one way or another [/pity party]

[DanaC]

Tiger blood!

[jimhelm]

I've said it before. Life IS a popularity contest. Being competent is essential too, but when a job opens up, the boss will promote the person he likes. It's human nature. that said, people don't trust ass kissers, so be real.

[DanaC]

The trouble is though, Jim, just returning to my current bugbear: the boss is more likely to promote the person he likes (:p). But of the people working for him, and putting themselves forward for promotion, and doing all that stuff that people have to do in order to get up the ladder, he is more likely to like and therefore promote a male employee. Because the behaviours one engages in to seek success in a career make women less likeable and men more likeable.

We just see the same things differently when it's a woman or a man doing them. I do too at some level. Most of us do, it's instinctive.

I don't know what the answer is. Like the woman said, our generation will not change this, has not changed it. I do wonder if maybe things are beginning to change for the lasses on their way into these worlds now.

[Aliantha]

Originally Posted by DanaC

The trouble is though, Jim, just returning to my current bugbear: the boss is more likely to promote the person he likes (:p).

Having been a boss myself, I don't think just liking someone is enough to make you want to promote them. In fact, conversely, I've found that I like the people who do a good job in a professional situation, much more than the ones that I might have more in common with, but who are less competent.

If they happen to be good at the job, and likeable, that makes a big difference though. Most people would rather work with people they like than those they don't. Even bosses.

[Griff]

Originally Posted by Aliantha

I've found that I like the people who do a good job in a professional situation, much more than the ones that I might have more in common with, but who are less competent.

We shouldn't lose sight of this. There is huge overlap between what is likeable and what is good for your organization.

[infinite monkey]

people love ass kissers. in my experience.

[infinite monkey]

oh, and i'm sitting at the bar, outside, watching the river and the birds.

it's been one week since they were supposed to make a decision. asshats.

[xoxoxoBruce]

Originally Posted by jimhelm

I've said it before. Life IS a popularity contest. Being competent is essential too, but when a job opens up, the boss will promote the person he likes. It's human nature. that said, people don't trust ass kissers, so be real.

Maybe not life, as that depends on what you want from it, but career/job, definitely.

Originally Posted by DanaC

We just see the same things differently when it's a woman or a man doing them. I do too at some level. Most of us do, it's instinctive.

That makes the assumption in order to put yourself oneself in a position to be promoted, one has to be a tough, no nonsense, hardass.
But someone who is truly likable, can work hard, and get others to work hard, without seeming to be a bastard. When people truly like the boss, they're happy to go the extra mile for him/her.